The Mathematics of a Spirtual Awakening

When I meditate, I alter not only my state of mind but also the nervous system. In a temporally altered state—suspended in an infinitely expanding space—firmly grounded, nerves and breath calmed, time itself slows. In the stillness, thoughts, like bubbles from sea-floor vents, slowly emerge. I see more clearly - subtle somatic pulses felt through the self. Trauma, imprinted onto me, is easily activated. What is emotion but an output of complex predictive modeling based on stored memory? Suspended, I see my thoughts, their ideas, the pulses. I shine light into my own darkness.

"The mind of the yogi who has mastered meditation becomes calm and still, and he enjoys blissful awareness within. He sees the Self within, and sees the Self in all beings.” Chapter 6, Verse 20 of the Bhagavad Gita        

The Self and Its Information Processing:

Meditation stills time. The self processes information at varying speeds at different levels of our psyche. Let's consider the conscious state, where information is processed at a rate of I/1 second, with 'I' representing a quantifiable measure of information, such as bytes.

At the subconscious level - information processing rates are several times greater - far too rapid for simple individuals to observe.

When meditating - we come to a concious stage where we are suspended in a infinitely expanding space. As the thoughts emerge - we observe without judgment, and the intricate inner computing that governs our soul comes to light - note demons lurking in the darkness.

Can mathematics model our conciousness? If it can model it all - then certain there must be equations. Maybe it helps to simplify - like consider conciousness operating in at least three physical states—gas, liquid, and solid—representing our self's abilities to process information at different rates. The quicker we process information, the more rigid to change.

The great Yogis of India have said to control even the atomic levels of the self. Western intellectuals like Frank Herbert, in his novel 'Dune,' explore such possibilities. Indeed, with our sciences offering an incomplete understanding of the universe and its workings, what is known is probably but a drop in the ocean. With uncertainty come so many possibilities. As each spiritual awakening represents a shedding of the former reality and the associated self, the spiritual development of a being can extend into dimensions we never fathomed before.

The Spiritual Awakening - a phase-change transformation of the self?

Continuing the theory of the rate of information processing at different states of consciousness, the spiritually awakened represent a phase-change transformation. The layers that is process instantaneously, so solid requiring more energy to transform its state. This process allows rigid thoughts anchored in certain beliefs to become more fluid and malleable, with flexibilities that allow for new belief systems to emerge. The destruction of the old - birth of a new.

Indeed - the catalyst for disintegration is a response to the cumulative energy unraveling our shadows reaching its energetic threshold. Perhaps it is the blunt force brought by sudden change or revelation that starts the chain reaction - forcing us to on a path that helps break through a part of the matrix.

The neural networks that govern our thoughts, emotions and push us to action must be profoundly complex, accessing memories as well as norms, responsibilities and ideals deeply welded onto us by society. Our shadows has its own layers - presenting the self, family, tribe, nation - the species. Certain mechanisms, such as trauma can occur to the individual or collective. Maladaptive coping mechanism can also register on the self - (i.e: low self confidence), or adapted from the collective (i.e: anti-intellectualism.).

Here, I do not believe we can deconstruct the self without considering the collective. As the ego continues to go towards universal compassion, same emotions appear when it is you who face an injustice or another member of your species.

These neural networks within us are deeply interconnected, forming a hierarchy of laws and principles that govern our thought process. It has important abilities to compartmentalize entire wealth of information to protect itself. These networks are multi-layered, with some beliefs and ideas residing on the surface, easily altered or replaced, while others are embedded more deeply, forming the core principles that shape our perception of reality. The consciousness operates not only on the level of the individual but also the collective.

"The senses are higher than the body, the mind higher than the senses; above the mind is the intellect, and above the intellect is the Self. Thus, knowing that which is supreme, let the Atman rule the ego. Use your mighty arms to slay the fierce enemy that is selfish desire." - Chapter 3, Verse 42 of the Bhagavad Gita        

The spiritual growth is the development of our ego - the journey we go from identifying with ourselves, and progress through various stages as we learn to connect with more individuals, from the self to universal compassion. In a globalized world - the ultimate path must align with our evolutionary direction, requiring us to reach universal compassion for all members of our species. As an individual's sense of self evolves, it first undergoes primary disintegration where the conflicts that arise between the self and collective societal expectations. These are natural and evolutionary mechanisms that form part of our species' ability to adapt.

Here, a contradiction must be pointed out. While the process of ego development and ultimately the individuation of the self is rarely achieved by the individual, the collective possesses a much better capacity to adapt. What binds us are our collective experiences of a cycles of suffering that appear to project infinitely . While we must go back 125 generations to find our common ancestors, for most, it was only 2 to 3 generations ago that they experienced collective hell due to famine, war, disasters or disease. The intergenerational trauma passed down to us where the collective forged strict social normals, and contracts that hold us down. It is this matrix we collective forged as a species that we must as individuals and eventually break through to liberate ourselves.

When the self's deeply rooted belief is challenged, it's not merely a single thread that unravels but rather a seismic shift that reverberates through the entire neural network, pushing forth a more profound and holistic transformation of the self. The more connected the rooted belief is to the self, the greater the shift. It is akin to a process of death and birth in literature, where the old self disintegrates, allowing for a new identity to arise with a clearer purpose and sense of self. This process can be seen quite literally as a shift from one plane of reality to a higher one, allowing for integration of part of the shadows into the self. The shift may require a momentary loss of touch with reality, manifesting for some as psychosis. In this vast universe, losing the very beliefs that ground us and offer comfort and meaning to our suffering can be terrifying. But we must journey through and find our new self.

Collectively, this process can be seen as a multilevel positive disintegration—a theory put forth by Polish psychologist D?browski. The self must now go on a hero's journey, as we come face to face with our demons hidden deep in our psyche. Each time we face our demons, we have a choice to confront them, and we must go through the process.

We find support for similar theories in both religion and literature. For example, in Murakami's novel 'The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle,' the protagonist, Toru Okada, descends into a dry dark well, symbolizing a profound transformation that parallels the disintegration process. Here, I find Murakami's example more intriguing as the well not only represents a stage for self-introspection but also the collective, as Murakami explores Japan's imperial and brutal past.

As the self goes through the journey of spiritual awakening, there are moments of enlightenment - sudden bursts of realization given to us by our intuition. It is the cycles, the rhythms, and synchronicity - the mathematics that govern us that we see so clearly, that shines onto us what is hidden deep in the dark. It is at these most intense moments where we overcome our fear. It is here - in this intensity where the self merges with a higher self and experience the universe - including space-time as a single point of conciousness.