Maternity Leave and returning to work – the honest truth!

As someone who has always had a job since the age of 15, the prospect of taking 10 months “off work” to have a baby after 21 years in employment, felt hugely exciting. So much so I wondered how I would even be able to return to work and ‘normality’ afterwards! Don’t get me wrong, I knew that it wasn’t going to be an easy 10 months, but I also had the innocent naivety of not knowing exactly what it was like to have a baby/child. In my mind, I thought, lots of sleepless nights, weekly baby classes, meeting up for coffee with old friends, having time to make a nice healthy meal in the evenings…. In reality, Amelie was a pretty decent sleeper for the first 3 months (let’s not talk about her sleep from 4+months onwards), so we had a pretty easy ride to start with. I spent a lot of time with my parents who are retired, I made plans each week to meet with my friends who were also on mat leave, I enrolled on a baby sign class every Friday…but I definitely didn’t have the time nor the inclination to cook every night!

As the months went by (and everyone says they fly by, which looking back, they do, but definitely not while you’re in the thick of it!), the end of my Maternity Leave grew closer. I had such mixed feelings, Amelie was getting to the age where I couldn’t just prop her up on a cushion with a sensory book while I binge watched Breaking Bad, the days were becoming longer, the novelty of being “away from work” was wearing off, the days where I had no plans were becoming relentless, I felt such guilt if I wasn’t constantly ‘entertaining’ Amelie or interacting with her, I absolutely loved LOVED being a Mummy, but I missed my life as ‘just Lauren’. Yet, the thought of going back to work full time and putting my 10 month old baby into nursery, not being with her every minute of the day, was unimaginable. I genuinely was torn.

But, here we are, 4 months into being back to work and I can honestly say that being back WASN’T AS BAD AS I THOUGHT. Sitting down alone to start my working day, with a hot cup of coffee, conversations with adults/no interruptions, feeling like I’ve actually accomplished something at the end of each day, the buzz of a new client/placement, the excitement of picking my daughter up and actually making the most of the time we have together before bed and in the mornings, making plans for weekends without them feeling like ‘just another day’ – these are all things that I hadn’t even considered when imagining returning back to work.

It wouldn’t be an honest account if I didn’t mention the initial settling into nursery which was tough (for us both), I hadn’t fully prepared for the fact that my baby might take a bit of time to adjust to not being around Mummy all day NOR had I fully understood what people had meant when they say ‘nursery builds a child’s immune system’…WOW….the illnesses…just wow. Not only do they harbour these germs themselves, but they share them among the household…frequently.

It helps that I have the most amazingly supportive and understanding team around me, a company that allow for flexible working where I can adjust my working hours so that I can spend more time with my daughter, work from home whenever I need, drop off and pick my daughter up from Nursery, and take her to the 10th doctor’s visit of the month.

It’s been pretty therapeutic to write all of this down. I hope that by reading this there are some takeaways:

For Employers – Flexibility is key if you want to retain good team members and allow them to be the best version of themselves while navigating their new working life. They’re still the same hard working person they were before, but they have different priorities and responsibilities now and might even have a new perspective to share. Be empathetic and kind.

For Employees – Parental/work guilt is REAL. Don’t be so hard on yourself, this is just a phase and a relatively short period in your life. Reach out to your employer for support/help or advice from the people who have gone through it before you. Find your new way of working, your efforts are almost certainly not going unnoticed, and if they are then maybe it’s time to look for a company that will value and appreciate you.?

Regardless of the ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a thing!