Mastery of mindset and practices

Welcome to the Strategic Leader newsletter! In each edition, I give you a perspective, resource (e.g. a tool, framework), and a recommendation (for a book, article, talk, service, or person).

If we haven’t met yet, thank you for joining me! You can learn a little more about me here , including a short film.

Perspective

The most impactful speakers, advisors, and coaches are spontaneous.

It’s easy to spot those who aren’t, isn’t it?

When something surprising happens, they freeze, get distracted and/or look anxious. It’s not a great look. People often remember these moments far more than the rest of what you’ve done.

It’s a topic I’ve spent a large part of my career mastering, both for myself and for those I advise. I’ve also seen what doesn’t work. Too much preparation – you can see their eyes move, as they look to remember their lines (watch a politician being interviewed by the media). Or they make the event into the be-all-and end-all of their life – their posture is stiff, and they stop breathing. Or they respond with flamboyance whilst losing track of what they want to say.

The obvious way to be more spontaneous is to prepare better. Think about what the audience wants to know and may ask of you. Know your content from top to bottom. Be on top of the numbers. Practise how you illustrate your points vividly. Run through some scenarios, particularly the difficult ones you struggle with (the best musicians practise the hard bits the most by the way!). Don’t just focus on one either. I remember one CEO who as very impressive in how spontaneous he was on stage, answering any question thrown at him. But he was underwhelming when somebody came up to him afterwards on a one-to-one basis.

For example, it’s predictable that you will meet somebody new or bump into an old friend at some point. Prepare what you want to say and make it interesting. Most people say ‘I’m doing ok. Family is well. I’ve been working at xxx for yy years now.’ Factually true, but dull. Instead, you might say ‘Taking up running again has really helped me feel fitter. Some way to go but it’s a start. And I’m loving the work I’m doing with CEOs, tackling some of their trickiest decisions.’

Preparation is also about your mindset. Work on your self-belief so that you know you can handle any situation, recalling moments when you’ve done this well. Being centred so that you realise that you are here to do your best work and that you start with a positive intent – this isn’t woo-woo stuff, but critical to enable you to have an open, natural, uninhibited manner. Trust yourself to respond in a way that works.

My recent conversation with Matt Abrahams , a lecturer at Stanford, and author of ‘Think faster, talk smarter’ was illuminating. He suggested that we should:

• Use structures in your responses, for example the classic ‘problem, solution, benefit’ or ‘recognition, reframing, curiosity’ (‘that’s a good point…Let me put it another way. I’m curious to hear what you think’) or ‘compare, contrast, conclude’ (‘I think we agree that…we have different views on…this is what I think we should do’).
• Use ‘space, pace, and grace’ skilfully. Give yourself some space to process what you’ve heard. Slow down and focus on being present. Properly listen to what is being said. And be empathetic to what the other person has said or conveyed.
• Say less and be comfortable with silence. Nervous or overly confident people talk too much. Make your point, gauge their reaction, and allow them space to respond.
• Focus on connection rather than perfection. Shift your mindset from trying to deliver the perfect response to focusing on connecting with your audience. This change in perspective helps reduce anxiety and fosters more genuine interactions.
• Invest the time to reflect on interactions. Diarise five to ten minutes to reflect on the impact of your response and what you could have done better; where possible, ask the person involved for advice (better than feedback).

Resource

Spontaneity is critical in high-stakes meetings, like Board, Exco, and investor meetings. Things often don’t go to plan – your slot is cut short, someone doesn’t turn up, or you face an aggressive person.

I’ve opened enrolment to my six-part virtual Masterclass ‘Leading high-stakes meetings ’ which starts on 19th June. Registration closes on 31st May. I’ll share my experience over nearly 30 years, as a chair, participant, advisor, observer, and coach – leaving you with new mindsets, skills, and practices (and more than 50 resources you can use right away).

Check out the details, include what I cover in each of the six sessions here .

Recommendation

There are a few people in my network who spring to mind who are spontaneously brilliant – adept at moving with the flow of energy or perspective in a conversation, not stuck to a script or a keynote. In fact, they seem to revel in it.

At the top of that list is my friend, ?? Michael Bungay Stanier Bungay Stanier. He’s offering some fantastic training. Buy a print copy of The Coaching Habit between May 14 and 20th, register at TCHLive.com , and you’ll get access to three live webinars (and recordings). The Coaching Habit’s not only a deeply helpful book – yes, I’ve used it and recommended some of my clients to use it too – and Michael’s a world class trainer. His sessions are always practical, engaging, and fun. The deal closes May 20th, so don’t dilly-dally. Register at TCHLive.com .

Wishing you well,

David.

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Thank you for reading this edition of the Strategic Leader newsletter. I hope you found it insightful and useful. Here are some ways to access further perspectives, tips, and resources:

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