Masters degree at 57: My education path, hitting rock bottom, and overcoming adversity.

August 16th was a significant day in my life. That day, I graduated with a master’s degree in Information Systems from Wright State University. This is a level to which I never thought possible within my lifetime. It took until age 57 and assuming a mortgage in student loan debt, but dammit, I did it. Coincidentally, the day was also the 40th anniversary of my first day in college and the 3rd anniversary of the completion of my first baccalaureate degree.

Growing up fatherless in rural western Kentucky, I struggled to fit into a close-knit community with standards that didn't coincide with my intricacies. It seemed as though being even a little different was enough to provoke ire in the eyes of many in my community. I was bullied nearly every day, not just by peers, but also by adults. Few days went by in which I didn’t experience emotional or physical harm. Criticisms from family and community cut me to the core. A child of alcoholics and coming from a broken home, I desperately sought to assimilate with the world around me. I reacted to the dissent poorly and made multitudes of errors in trying to correct all that was wrong. I tried to find paths to belonging, but with little guidance, I didn’t do that very well. I hated myself as much as I believed that the world hated me. I was convinced that I could never be adequate to fit in any social environment. I was tossed between a safer home in a community that harbored significant contempt and a more dysfunctional home laden with addiction and abuse, but in a larger community with a better social experience in the “city” school. Even within my own family, I felt unloved and unwanted, as though I could never be accepted even among my own relatives. The volatilities of living with few promising options left me with personal challenges and affinities for poor behaviors and choices accompanied by doubt and a considerable lack of faith in myself and my world. Early on, I believed that completing a degree would change my world and lead to a better life. I hoped it might even help me to feel loved by family and friends.

I arrived at Eastern Kentucky University in August 1979 at the age of 17. I was a troubled young man with little guidance or direction and near-zero support trying to find my path in life in a sea of addiction, dysfunction, and dissent. My family hated the idea of me attending college and issued extreme verbal and emotional abuse in efforts to demoralize and discourage me. I had $13 when I arrived on campus and was uncertain whether I would even last the first week. I had aspirations of attending law school one day, but no idea about how to make that work. As my challenges overwhelmed my logic, considerations, and judgment, I made considerable mistakes in college that led to poor life choices and created considerable delays in my progress toward achieving success in life. After starving and struggling in many capacities, I dropped out to save some money, regroup, and return to EKU under more stable circumstances and hopes of an improved mindset. That didn’t work out according to plan. I continued to spend much of my energy seeking approval, acceptance, and seemingly elusive happiness.

15 years later, I enrolled at the University of Louisville at age 34 in hopes of completing the elusive bachelor’s degree in an effort to reassemble my life and establish a stable career. I was in the midst of receiving my son’s autism diagnosis, contending with a brutal (2nd) divorce, staggered from a failed career, and on the heels of a failed suicide attempt. I was homeless, destitute, and severely depressed. I was broken. I had worked sales and management positions for several years in the auto, tire, and cellular phone industries, but had failed in finding a stable path. After a few years, responsibilities and pressures increased the challenges of succeeding at UofL, so I moved to an associate degree program at Indiana University Southeast. I completed the #AS in Computer Science in 2001, shy of my 40th birthday. That alone gave me hope and led to a more stable career path in information systems, which I’ve been working for nearly 23 years.

In that time, I experienced considerable difficulties creating a balance with my career and meeting the needs of my disabled son. Autism was still rare when he was diagnosed, and work environments hadn’t begun to adjust to the new realities of this disability. Working through these challenges and striving to recover from the downfalls experienced in my 30s, finding feasible solutions seemed impossible. Overcoming these challenges became unattainable and hopes of finding peace were increasingly elusive.

At one point, I sought an advancement opportunity, hoping to utilize and enhance the experiences of my tenure. The position stated that it required a bachelor’s degree, of which I was only a handful of hours shy. My application was forbidden based on not having that degree. Another 15 years after attending IUS, I found myself reenrolling at EKU and UofL to finally complete the long-elusive baccalaureate. Eight months later, I completed a BA at EKU at 54 years of age, 37 years after initially attending that school.

The week that I earned the BA, another advancement opportunity arose, to which I inquired about applying. I was met with a new list of reasons why I could not apply or advance. I knew then that I needed something more to compete with my younger peers. The UofL degree program was in a specific major listed in the position’s preferred degrees. Being only a few classes shy of that degree, I elected to finish it in hopes of gaining further acceptance within my work environment. That didn’t work. Nonetheless, I completed the UofL BS in Organizational Leadership at age 55.

Faced with rejection, disparagement and an intrinsic need to prove myself, I made the choice to enter a graduate program. Initially, I worked toward a graduate certificate, which should have demonstrated considerable competencies. I completed the program, but most didn’t understand what it meant. Already 1/3 of the way through, I decided to complete the masters. Again, hoping to demonstrate my competencies in a difficult environment.

Nevertheless, I’ve reached this milestone with many aspirations, after decades of obstacles and rejection. Over the previous year, I've I endured a significant injury and heart attack while seeking time to complete my coursework. My wife and I also purchased a home. For decades, I’ve managed to find my way through the long-term challenges of picking myself up from rock bottom and being an autism parent in a less-than-empathetic workplace and world. Surprisingly, I am here today.

To the many who have supported and encouraged me through this process. For you, I am immensely grateful. Thank you. When you expressed faith in me, I often grasped your words and used that encouragement to find the strength to persevere.

In tandem, there is a sentiment that I wish to express to a significant population. After decades of harassment, ostracization, and being denied opportunities and income, I reached a level above the assertions… I can confidently express this message to those who issued vilification and exclusions. After decades of dissent and disparagements, I can state this unequivocally:

I am good enough.

#EKU #UofL #IUS #WSU #masters #mis #bullying #harassment #discrimination #ageism #exclusion #GoodEnough #collegeforall