Mastering Your Mind: Four Agreements to Live By

You Are Your Own Biggest Enemy

From birth, society imposes what we should do, learn, wear, eat, and believe. We follow these norms because of a reward system that praises us as "good" for compliance and labels us "bad" for resistance. This can lead to self-hatred when we fail to meet these standards.

Living for others' expectations often makes us forget our true desires. Fear of not fitting in, rejection, and standing out pushes us to conform to various societal agreements. We spend most of our time deciding which agreements to follow to become society's ideal person.

Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word

"Hail Hitler"—just two words that serve as a powerful reminder of the impact of words.

To be impeccable means to be without sin.

Words are double-edged swords; they can create miracles or shatter dreams. A single harsh comment can stay with someone for life until they hear otherwise.

Gossip is like a computer virus; it spreads unnoticed. As the saying goes, "misery loves company." Gossip often arises as a way to feel safe during difficult times.

We also gossip about ourselves: "I'm not good enough," "I'm too fat," "I'm not smart." This negative self-talk occurs when our minds are fertile ground for it. Words reflect our perspective, but they're not always true. So, let's be impeccable with our words.

Agreement 2: Don’t Take Things Personally

"You are too good," or "You are evil." We often internalize what others say, letting it shape our thoughts. However, if we love and accept ourselves, we can maintain peace.

"You are wonderful." We don’t need to wait for someone else to tell us this; we already know it. Yet, our minds often play a dual role—one part demands validation, while the other resists. We need to control these conflicting thoughts by making agreements with ourselves.

Taking things personally causes unnecessary suffering. To fit in, we may lie to ourselves when we realize others are lying. But if we stay true to ourselves, it may hurt initially, but we won’t carry that burden forever. Not taking things personally frees us from others’ comments, allowing us to live in peace and radiate love and happiness. So, don’t take things personally.

Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions

Most sadness and drama in life stem from assumptions we believe to be true.

We often assume what will happen instead of waiting for reality to unfold. When reality doesn’t align with our assumptions, we feel disappointed. This happens in relationships, conversations, and many areas of life. Rather than asking for clarification, we jump to conclusions.

It’s hard not to make assumptions, but with practice and consistency, we can change this habit. If we don’t understand someone or something, it’s better to ask questions than to assume. This way, we avoid hurting ourselves with our own thoughts. So, don’t make assumptions.

Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best

A man seeking self-transcendence asked a Buddhist master, "How many years will it take if I meditate four hours a day?" "Ten years," the master replied. "What if I meditate eight hours a day?" "Twenty years," the master answered. Confused, the man asked why, and the master explained, "If you do more than your best, you will burden yourself."

We should do our best—not more, not less. Doing more than our best can lead to exhaustion and delay our progress, while doing less can cause frustration and self-doubt.

Remember Forrest Gump? He did everything to the best of his ability and what made him happy, without expecting any reward. In the end, he was rewarded enormously. Loving ourselves and living in the present gives meaning to our lives, rather than dwelling on the past, which leads to only half a life. Keep doing your best in everything, whether it's talking, walking, or learning by doing it continuously without a break. So, always do your best.

Breaking Old Agreements

Think about how excited we were as kids, how even small things made us happy. We had no thoughts about the future or the past; we lived in the moment. Like a child, we should learn to say "no" to things we don’t like or agree with.

Our parents nurtured us to fit into society, possibly forcefully, but they aren’t to blame—they were raised the same way. However, we have the chance to change this. By being aware of our daily experiences, we have the power to live in the present.

Be Like a Warrior

Our mind is like skin: it feels good when it’s unblemished, but when it’s wounded, we don’t want anyone to touch it because it hurts. Our mind, with its emotions, functions similarly. Fear triggers the mind, and we do things we’re not aware of. Emotions control us. To be like a warrior, we should learn to forgive. Forgiveness is key.

A warrior has control—not over others, but over their own emotions and self. Without this control, we build self-doubt, fear, anger, and more. Being like a warrior will lead us to be impeccable.

The Angel of Death

How many of us know whether we’ll be alive tomorrow? Imagine going to a doctor who tells you that you have only one week to live. You have two options: mourn that you have only a week left or be happy and use that week to do what you love and spend time with those you care about.

When we are ready to accept the angel of death, we are reborn. We return to being like a child—wild and free, but with a difference. We live without fear, anger, envy, and sadness.

Heaven on Earth

Imagination is the key to happiness. Imagine a life without fear, without judging yourself or others, being happy without needing others' love, and taking risks joyfully. This is entirely possible if we choose to imagine it. Suffering provides a safe way of living, but suffering and happiness are choices. When we have the choice to be happy, what will you choose?

Here’s a small exercise: Take a deep breath and hold it until your body demands you exhale. Then exhale. Feel the pleasure in that release. When we fulfil our body’s needs, it gives us pleasure. Breathing alone can keep us happy all the time.

It’s my choice to live a happy life filled with love, to live in this heaven on earth. What will you choose?