Mastering the Unspoken: Boosting Your Confidence in Speeches and Interviews with Powerful Nonverbal Communication Tips Part II

In part one of this article I discussed how important it is that we spend time practicing and thinking about our nonverbal communication during important meetings, talks, speeches, etc.? I covered the first four of these tips: Preparation, Eye Contact, Standing Position and Hand Gestures.? All of these are super important to show confidence to your audience no matter how small or how large that audience is.? Now let’s delve into tip five to nine.

As before, I look forward to your comments, feedback and tell me which ones you need to master!

5: Facial Expressions

Our face is literally a billboard to our emotions, and what we “advertise” will affect those in our “audience”. If it is one of fear, nervousness and apprehension they will feel that. But if we can show them, we are prepared, confident, ready for action and warm and genuine, it will go a long way in building that confidence.

Look at the image that my mentor and friend Dr. Paul Ekman uses to show facial expressions:

Which ones do you think would elicit warm and friendly feelings and which would elicit concern, worry or even fear? You don’t need to understand each emotion fully to know how it would affect you. And, to know you want to elicit positive emotions, right?

What is the single best way to do this?

A real, warm, genuine smile. This really is hard to fake (without practice) I always suggest practicing in a mirror. A warm, genuine smile with a slight, appropriate head tilt, can be literally a life changing nonverbal to master. I am 6’3” (for you in the EU over 2 meters) tall, and I weigh 230 lbs (104 kg), so I am a formidable person. When I approach a person, they can automatically feel intimidated. Using a warm, genuine smile and head tilt has proven, for me, to go a very long way.

6: Mirroring

Mirroring is a wonderful nonverbal tool where we slightly mimic the body language of our audience to build rapport with them. This doesn’t mean we copy them so much they feel we are mocking them; it means we do it subtly enough that they feel a sense of empathy with us and our connection. (https://ideapod.com/traits-of-empathetic-individuals/)

When we mirror properly, we make others feel they are understood, they are connected, and it feels natural and confident. This can go a long way towards making our audience very comfortable with us.

7: Our movements are smooth and deliberate

I once worked with a young person who wanted to script out every gesture and every movement. I tried my hardest to tell him this was a bad idea. But he thought this would help him appear natural. Despite my pleas, he put notes in his speech where to gesture.

One time he got caught in the moment, and gave his line without looking, when he looked down, he saw the note for his gesture he was to give during the previous sentence, and then he did it with no context. The audience laughed, seeing what had just happened. He was crushed on the spot. Stuttering, and broken speech is what ensued.

Over the years I have found that, yes practicing my nonverbals can help, but they cannot be scripted. They have to be natural. And what has helped me the most is practicing mindfulness. This has helped me to be aware of me, my size, my body, my natural movements and use them to the best of my ability to build trust.

8: Your Pace

When we speak too slow, we can come off dumb or condescending. When we speak too fast, we can come off unprepared or nervous. We need to find that delicate balance that tells the audience I know what I am saying, and I am confident enough to speak at my own pace.

Here is the secret, there is no ONE answer. Depending on the audience, the speech, the culture, and more, all of this can change. I once spoke in front of a group of military generals, and they wanted fast, succinct information that did not delay a millisecond. I also spoke in front of a group of academics that needed me to slow down and answer LOTS of questions. Is one worse than the other? NO

They are different and each had their needs I had to fulfill, if I wanted success.

9: Be Yourself

So here is the deal, all these tips are great, but I need you to be you… really. I don’t you need you to be a clone of me, dear God no one wants that. I need you on a plate. The audience is there to see you, so let's give them what they came for. Can we make the experience better? Sure, these tips can, when you add them to your tool chest but don't change who you are completely.

Right?

There’s nothing more appealing than someone who is authentically themselves. It shows a deep level of self-assuredness and comfort that no amount of posturing can mimic.

In Conclusion

These tips can help you appear more confident and more ready for the world, I agree. While mastering these body language habits can certainly help you appear more confident, let’s not forget that true confidence goes much deeper.

It’s about self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love. It’s about knowing your worth and embracing your unique strengths and weaknesses.

As psychologist Amy Cuddy famously said, “Don’t fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it.”

The power of body language isn’t just in how others perceive you, but also in how you perceive yourself. Work on self-belief and self-love, and your confidence will naturally shine through.?

Let me know what you think and which ones you are going to try.

Christopher Hadnagy