Mastering the Unspoken: Boosting Your Confidence in Speeches and Interviews with Powerful Nonverbal Communication Tips Part I

Imagine you have a big speech coming up, or a life-changing interview, or maybe you are about to meet someone and want to make the best first impression – whatever the situation, it demands that you can display some genuine confidence.? I want to help you.

Recently, I got to give a speech in front of a few hundred people. One of the other presenters said, “How did you do that, you don’t even look nervous?”? I told her, “Inside, I was full of terror and dread. So, I appreciate you saying you couldn’t see my fear and didn’t notice my knees knocking together.”

She said, “Literally, you are lying, you had no fear, tell me how you did it.”

Now fast forward a few weeks and I am working with one of my mentees on a speech she is about to give and trying to prepare some information on how to help her with her confidence in front of a crowd. And out came this blog… Nine tips on how you can be confident in front of any audience regardless of the reason you are there.

Anyone who knows me, it will not come as a surprise that most of these will be related to nonverbals.

Let’s delve right in, I will cover the first four out of nine tips and then in part two I will cover the rest.

1: Preparation

I cannot overstate how important being prepared is. I have “winged” speeches before, and the nerves of the speech with the added pressure of “I don’t know what is coming next” can make even experienced speakers use their slide deck as a teleprompter.? This is a quick sign you are unprepared, not confident, and maybe not right for this particular job. Or at least that is what some may think and feel.

2: Eye Contact

There is a delicate balance here, you can’t be staring someone in the eyes with such intensity that they feel uncomfortable, but you also can’t be looking down, or up at the ceiling or at your slides, notes or laptop so much that you seem like you don’t know the material. Eye contact tells the audience, whether it is one of one thousand, that you are interested in them.

My good friend, and the G.O.A.T of rock and roll, Neil Fallon, (lead singer of the best band on earth CLUTCH) has this habit of when he does live shows, singing to a “person” for 3-5 seconds then moving on to the next person. This means he locks eyes with that person and sings. The first time, before I knew him, that he did this with me, I felt this magical connection to the music. I can tell you where it was – Allentown Pennsylvania, “The Regulator” – and when he got off stage, I felt like I could have floated.

When you look at your audience with the right intensity for the right amount of time, you connect. Too little can make you seem insecure, too much is aggressive. Practice being just right, and this is a win.

3: How you stand

I love the show Master Chef, it is one of my guilty pleasures. All the chef judges on there, I am a fan boy of… yet Aaron Sanchez does this weird thing where it seems like he is forcing confidence in his posture with an overly dominant steeple and confidence display.

At the same time, if you slouch, or make yourself too small you can appear timid, weak and unsure of yourself.

What is the balance?? Find how to own your space without arrogance. Amy Cuddy once said, “Our bodies change our minds, and our minds can change our behaviors and our behaviors can change our outcomes.”

You want your outcome to be more successful? Start with making sure your body is displaying the emotion you want others to feel.

4: Hand Gestures

I will refer to the image above again… but don’t want to pick on Aaron too much as one day I would love to meet him and cook with him and learn from him.

So let me say this, hand gestures paint pictures, help us describe things and according to one study (https://www.scienceofpeople.com/hand-gestures/) help the listeners retain more information. Especially if those hand gestures are open ventral, meaning the soft underside of our bodies. This shows trust and vulnerability, and when we use gestures that focus on those, it helps our listeners to feel we are trustworthy, and we want to help.

Tune in Monday to get the rest of the tips.?

Christopher Hadnagy