Mastering the Power of 'NO': Aligning Your Choices with What Truly Matters

Growing up, I had a neighbour who responded to anyone soliciting at her door with a simple “No.” If they pushed further, she’d calmly ask, “Which part of 'no' do you not understand—the N or the O?”

Even as a child, still somewhat shielded from the pressures of people-pleasing, I felt uneasy about her refusal to explain herself or give in to whatever cause was being presented. As she would often remind me, “‘No’ is a complete sentence.”

Fast forward to a meeting I just finished with a client, struggling to turn down opportunities - the kind that seem shiny but, as they conflict with more pressing priorities and deeper concerns, were just causing my client more anxiety.

Channeling my neighbour and reminding myself at the same time, we discussed how in a world that uses busyness as a glorified identity, it’s easy to forget that everything we say "YES" to means saying "NO" to something else.

Thich Nhat Hanh describes this as "habit energy"—the unconscious momentum that pushes us to keep moving, even when we know we need to slow down. This habit energy, passed down through generations, keeps us from being fully present, and it often leads us to overcommit, chasing external validation instead of focusing on what truly matters.

Ryan Holiday, writes and speaks on this concept, emphasizing the power of saying "NO." He shares how turning down seemingly huge opportunities wasn’t about being above them, but about recognizing the true value of his time. He realized that saying "YES" to every opportunity came at the cost of being fully present with his family and dedicating himself to meaningful work. His experience mirrors Thich Nhat Hanh’s message: that habit energy often drives us to do more, but it’s the recognition of this and movement towards the outcomes we desire which allows us to pause, reflect, and make intentional choices.

Saying "NO" to distractions opens the door to saying "YES" to what truly enriches our lives—our health, our relationships, and our personal growth. As Holiday notes, success isn’t about how much we do, but about the freedom to choose what we do. And the ability to say "NO" is one of the most powerful forms of success we can achieve.

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Ryan Holiday: https://ryanholiday.net/

Thich Nhat Hanh: https://lnkd.in/gSeFSRJr

If you're feeling pulled in too many directions or struggling to focus on next steps, I have new opportunities for clients ready to dive into strategy. T

ogether, we’ll work on clarifying your YES's and NO's, so you can achieve meaningful outcomes that align with your values. If this sounds like the right direction for you, please reach out! Let’s create space for what truly matters.

www.laurenbunton.com