Mastering Boundaries

Have you ever found yourself working late into the night, sacrificing weekends for your job, or feeling the weight of burnout?? Do you feel like work constantly spills over into your personal life through emails, notifications, and never-ending to-do lists?

Striking the right balance between professional ambitions and personal well-being can be a daunting challenge in today's fast-paced accounting world, but it’s not impossible.?

The Truth About Setting Boundaries and Work Martyrdom

Unfortunately, many of us accountants struggle with setting boundaries and detaching from work.?

While the struggle with work/life balance is not unique to the accounting profession, it has been an ongoing issue that isn’t getting better. Obviously, there are many factors that have led to things like the “Great Resignation” for accountants, but it’s also important to understand how a lack of boundaries and the ability to detach from work have contributed to the issue.

One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is what I refer to as “work martyrdom”. This can show up in various ways, such as taking work home so that you can get a jump-start on everyone else, not taking all your paid time off because you’re afraid it will look bad, or not being able to delegate because you’re worried that no one else can do the work as well as you.?

Unfortunately, work martyrdom is also sneaky because it’s often perceived to be normal, necessary, or, even worse, rewarded.

Setting Time Boundaries

Here’s the thing - setting boundaries isn't just about managing interactions with others but also about managing your time effectively. Many of us grapple with time-related issues, which can affect our productivity and well-being.?

By learning how to effectively set and commit to your time boundaries, you make it much easier to have a balanced day, week, or year, and you lessen the fatigue that comes with making too many decisions about how you spend your time.?

Thankfully, one of the best benefits is that you also improve your relationship with yourself because, when you honor your commitments to yourself, you strengthen your self-confidence.? Time management is as much about learning how to trust yourself as it is about effectively managing your time.

The Role of Our Brain in Setting Boundaries

The truth is that our brain plays a pivotal role in our ability to set boundaries and detach from work. How?? Because our brains are wired to respond to external stimuli and are influenced by our experiences and beliefs.?

It’s also important to understand that our brain's natural tendency to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort can often lead us to resist change. The idea of setting boundaries and detaching from work can trigger feelings of discomfort, as it challenges the brain's familiar patterns and comfort zones.

However, there's a powerful aspect of our brain that we can harness – neuroplasticity. This remarkable quality allows our brain to rewire itself in response to new experiences and intentional practices.

By understanding the brain's role in our challenges and successes, we gain the tools to navigate the process of setting boundaries more effectively.?

Thankfully, we can consciously reshape our neural pathways, gradually shifting our beliefs and responses to align with a healthier work-life integration.

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Overcoming Boundary Challenges

Unfortunately, the fear of judgment is what often holds us back from setting boundaries.?

What might be helpful is explaining what I teach about what a boundary is NOT and what it IS.

A boundary is NOT:

• Just saying no
• Expecting the other person to change their behavior
• Threatening someone with consequences so that they will change
• Standing up for yourself out of anger or frustration
• Intended to manipulate anyone’s behavior
• An idle threat that you do not intend to follow through with

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A boundary IS:

• A powerful form of self-care
• Something you do for you, not to them
• Something you create for yourself to honor yourself
• Something you will do; not something they need to do
• Said from a place of calm
• Set with the intention that you are ready, willing, and able to follow through with what you said you would do
• You only set a boundary when there is a boundary violation
• Requires you not to care what other people think of you

The key is understanding that boundaries aren't about policing someone else's actions; they're about deciding what works for you and being clear.? The truth is that boundaries can be your allies, not your adversaries.

The Smarter Accountant Way: Setting Better Boundaries

Setting boundaries with others can be uncomfortable, especially when it involves having challenging conversations.?

The good news is that the way that I teach the subject of setting boundaries is much easier than you’ve probably been taught before.? It’s not about what others need to do or not do, it’s about what you will do if or when a boundary is crossed.?

In other words, it’s not about needing to control anyone or anything other than you.

Another thing I want to point out is that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve dealt with something or someone and not set a boundary.? When you decide you want to set a boundary, that’s all that matters.? The decision to set boundaries should not be hindered by the past.

As a Smarter Accountant, you'll learn effective tools for setting better boundaries, know how to respond when your boundaries are challenged, and manage your mind effectively. It's never too late to prioritize your well-being and career success by setting boundaries that work for you.

Remember, what matters is your commitment to change and the decision to set boundaries, regardless of your past experiences. By embracing discomfort and embracing change, you pave the way for a more fulfilling and sustainable accounting career.

If you want to learn more, check out this episode of The Smarter Accountant Podcast ?? https://thesmarteraccountant.com/podcast/mastering-boundaries-and-detaching-from-work/

Ready to become a Smarter Accountant? First, take the Smarter Accountant Quiz HERE.