Mastering Behavioural Styles: The Key to Transforming Relationships and Achieving Success

The concept of behavioural styles has roots that go back thousands of years, evolving through the work of ancient philosophers, psychologists, and modern thinkers. The first major insight into behavioural differences was provided by the Greek philosopher Empedocles in 444 B.C., who observed that people acted in four distinct ways. These differences, he believed, stemmed from environmental influences.

In the 20th century, the renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung built on this idea, asserting that our behaviours are driven more by internal psychological factors. He identified four key types—Thinking, Feeling, Sensation, and Intuition. This theory laid the foundation for the Myers-Briggs Personality Test (MBTI), which continues to be widely used in recruitment and leadership development.

In 1928, psychologist William Moulton Marston redefined these categories in his book Emotions of Normal People. He categorised them as Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Compliance—core elements that form the basis of the DISC Personality Test. Both MBTI and DISC are tools frequently employed in leadership and team-building exercises to help people understand themselves and their colleagues better.

Over time, various models have emerged, adapting these theories to fit specific needs. Whether categorised by temperament, personality, or behavioural preferences, the concept of understanding and adapting to different styles has become invaluable in all aspects of life—from business to personal relationships.

Why Understanding Behavioural Styles Matters

Being able to identify and understand different behavioural styles is essential for building rapport and creating lasting connections. Whether it’s persuading a group, securing a sales appointment, or simply establishing trust with a client, knowing how to connect with others on their terms is an indispensable skill.

In a business context, creating rapport quickly can be the difference between success and failure. As leaders, understanding behavioural styles allows us to lead more effectively and ensure our clients feel heard, understood, and supported throughout the process.

The Power of Commonality and Adaptability

There are two key components in creating strong rapport: Commonality and Adaptability.

• Commonality: Finding common ground creates an instant connection, both subconsciously and emotionally. People are naturally drawn to those who share similar interests or perspectives, so it's important to consciously seek and highlight commonality in conversations.
• Adaptability: Adaptability refers to adjusting your approach to match the other person’s style. This aligns with the principle of emotional intelligence—being able to "be as much like the other person as you can be." The reality is that more people are not like you than are, so to build stronger relationships, it's essential to treat others in the way they prefer to be treated.

When you adapt your style to suit the other person, two things happen:

1. They are naturally drawn to you, making it easier to form a connection.
2. They begin to adapt to your style, leading to a more harmonious relationship.

How Can You Get Along with More People?

The key to building successful relationships with as many people as possible lies in the application of commonality and adaptability. By learning to identify and adjust to different behavioural styles, you increase your chances of creating deeper connections—both professionally and personally.