Mastering the Art of Unlearning

Learning is an essential part of life. From the moment we’re born, we observe, explore, and absorb knowledge. We try, practice, and develop skills—some more deeply than others.

As we grow, learning becomes methodical. In many countries, children spend over a decade in structured education, where they’re even taught how to learn—how to find, analyze, and articulate information.

The beauty of learning is that the knowledge and skills we acquire are truly ours. People can take away your possessions, your job, or even your relationships, but no one can take your knowledge and abilities.

The Things That Stick

I’ll never forget the pride in my grandfather’s eyes.

“I still remember it,” he said, his voice steady as he raised his arms with confidence. He was 97 years old, his mind slowly succumbing to dementia, yet at that moment, he was 17 again—reliving his days in the Swedish Navy.

He had lied about his age to enlist and was trained in flag semaphore, a method of communication using flags held in various positions to spell out messages. Nearly 80 years later, he could still recall the semaphore alphabet.

Once you learn something thoroughly, it’s hard to unlearn it. For instance, unlearning how to speak your native language is practically impossible. Most of the time, this permanence works to our advantage. Imagine having to relearn your language every time you wanted to have a conversation!

The Learning Curse

But there are times when unlearning is not only useful—it’s necessary.

Sometimes, the things we’ve learned are outdated, inefficient, or just plain wrong. In such cases, unlearning becomes essential.

Take leadership and followership, for example. Many people struggle to adopt a natural followership mindset because they keep reverting to old habits. They continue viewing managers as leaders and followers as subordinates—a perspective that perpetuates hierarchical thinking. (Here’s why that’s a problem.) Despite their best efforts, they unconsciously fall back into viewing the world from a leader-centric perspective.

How to Unlearn

So, how do we unlearn something? After years of reshaping my own thinking on leadership and followership, here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Willingness to Change It’s easier to want change than to make changes. Many of us want to lose weight but resist exercising more or eating differently. The same applies to unlearning. To succeed, you must embrace change, which often means altering ingrained behaviours and mindsets.

2. Replace the Old with the New Unlearning isn’t about forgetting—it’s about replacing. To unlearn a behaviour, replace it with a new one. To unlearn outdated knowledge, replace it with updated insights. Replacement is the foundation of unlearning.

3. Be Consistent Consistency is the toughest part of unlearning. Once we’ve learned something well, it becomes second nature—we act or think without even realizing it. Unlearning requires us to become conscious of these automatic habits and deliberately override them.

Progress may be slow, but small, gradual changes over time yield the best results. If you’re looking for a guide, I highly recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Unlearning is challenging, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By replacing outdated habits and mindsets, we open ourselves to growth and innovation.

If this topic resonates with you, check out this article: Learning to Unlearn.

For more information on natural followership, check out Why We Follow: Natural Followership in a World Obsessed with Leadership