Mastering The Art Of Saying No

The hardest thing to say to someone is “No.” When someone asks us for a favor or help regarding something, it becomes very hard to say no because most times we want to say “Yes.” Most people actually go out of their way to ensure that they properly help others. And this is something that I totally understand. I like helping people! When I say “Yes,” I get to benefit the people around me, and it’s an extremely rewarding experience. Moreover, saying “Yes” lets others know that I am down to help; it surely strengthens my relationships! However, this means that I have to commit to things that I am not interested in and aid others in their journeys, often at my own expense. When I say yes to everything, my time is no longer mine; it becomes free real estate that others can occupy and benefit from. But surely, the dedication of my time is a worthwhile investment for cultivating stronger relationships, right? While this might sound tempting, this is simply not true.

By saying “Yes” to everything, you might actually be hurting your relationships more than strengthening them. Here’s why:

There are infinite things that I want to do. And even more things that other people would like for me to do. My time, however, is finite. If I commit to doing something, then that means I cannot do something else. In economics, this is famously referred to as the “opportunity cost”: the value of the alternative choice you give up when you make a choice. When you choose to help your friend proofread her book, the opportunity cost is what you could have alternatively done at the same time. If you had said “No,” you could have finished compiling your weekly reports, spending time with your family, or even taking an hour of rest. Regardless of what you would have done, there is an opportunity cost to every decision that we make.

When we commit to every single thing that comes our way, we give up the opportunity to commit to millions of other potential opportunities. If you commit to everything, you lose the chance to commit to what is really important to you.

I can not say yes to everyone because that means that I am forced to say no to everything.

You are defined by what you say “No” to. Knowing when to say “No” is just as important as knowing when to say “Yes.” Learning when and how to say “No” is integral to improving your life. It helps you manage your time better, reducing the burden of commitments that you are not truly interested in. Your relationships flourish, not because you say yes to everything but because you are available to help and support others when they truly need it. Your personal growth journey skyrockets for you now have the opportunity to commit to the opportunities that are truly meaningful and important to you as well.

At the same time, remember that this does not mean that you say no to everyone and everything. It simply means that you consider and value your own time at least as much as you value others. Also, saying “No” now does not mean “No” forever. Complete what you have to right now, and circle back to that person who needed your assistance.

Saying “No” allows you to say “Yes” when it really matters. Saying “No” leaves space available to capitalize on opportunities that come your way. So, learn to master the art of saying “No,” and you will find yourself in a much better situation to capitalize on opportunities that truly warrant your time.