Master of Bagpipes Application (MBA)

This intellectually demanding MBA degree was initially only offered at those most discerning of business management schools, like Edinburgh and Glasgow, but now other prestigious universities of professional note have quickly puffed their cheeks and offer it to those who are hoping to be worthy.

Historically, the student had to be of Scottish origin to fully appreciate the requisite harmonic contribution, but today anyone who has the individual desire to uniquely stand out and to be unmistakably heard in the business crowd is clamoring to be enrolled in this course knowing of the phenomenal personal benefit. ?

Yet, the Master of Bagpipes Application (MBA) is not for the faint hearted as one needs large lungs to muster the voluminous air requirements to achieve the desired highly audible standard.

The MBA takes three full years to complete and following graduation the highly sought and fortunate individual will have attained all the necessary life skills required to be a recognized leader in any business field they may happen to choose. ?

Year 1: Playing the Pipes

Yes, all students do actually learn to play the bagpipes and are encouraged to practice when at the corporate office, preferably during lunchtime (if studying part-time), or at home late in the evenings when most of your family and neighbors are tucked up in their beds trying to sleep. The objective with this module is to eliminate the student’s self-consciousness and to build personal resilience to any potential negative comments. After all, as a business leader, sometimes your staff may not like what they hear, so this is perfect opportunity for them to start getting used to it.

Year 2: Clothing

Corporate office wear can be quite sexist with various traditional suit and dress stereotypes that typically prevail for all employees regardless of their age, experience or physical stature. This is where the kilt comes into the foray as the perfect clothing standard of equal opportunity for all those in the corporate office. In this module, all students are taught the correct and fashionable ways of wearing a kilt, complete with the appropriate tartan that complements and embellishes their individual personality.

Year 3: Building your Persona

Graduates of the MBA will never need to be introduced by their peers when entering a meeting or a conference room for the first time. They will also have no requirement to waste precious environmental paper resources in getting those old fashioned business cards printed for the customary hand-to-hand distribution. One short puff of the bagpipes will quickly announce their presence and they are assured never be forgotten. In this module, students role-play marching up and down office corridors whilst playing the bagpipes, fully adorned in their kilt in order to perfect the optimum visual and audible entrance. ?

So should you want to have a successful business career, together with one entwined in musical Scottish harmony, may I suggest you inquire at the business school nearest you to see if they have an MBA that is worthy of your time and money.

Tapadh leibh?

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