Masking Paradoxes

The Episodical Bit

Of all the paradoxes created by humans in and around the world, the most debatable to be accountable for quivering the definition of humanity is coming up with absurd conventionalities about people. Over the years the very foundation of humanity has been questioned and we still cannot get to an apt conclusion as to what makes a Being perfect. Yes, nobody is perfect, but we also fail a chance at improving ourselves. With such times prevailing, we mask our mouth but not our thoughts.

In our everyday life, we do not deal with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity, as rightly quoted by Dale Carnegie in his book, ‘How to win friends and influence people'. The hole is ready to be dug but nobody wants to get their hands dirty. Because by speaking of it, one might be looked down on. Keeping this in mind, I bring forth mini episodes we often fail to look at, by diverting our attention to the bigger picture. After all, it's not Always about the bigger picture.

Episode 1??

Park Prejudice In The Junkyard

“Mom, look! That lady by the park is so pretty! Do you know once-”

-“Honey, stay away from such people. Bohemians are usually selfish, derogatory and hippies. They think of nobody but themselves. Make sure you never let them sway you into anything, alright?”

When the 6-year-old and his mother reach home, the boy says, “Mom, do you remember once when I got lost in the fair last year and I said an angel helped me reach home?”

-” Yes?”

-” It was her.”

It is said that when someone gives opinions in the absence of evidence, it is called prejudice. (Oh! The bomb just dropped. Also, read that again.)

?At some point in our life, we do make brutal assumptions about people despite our lack of knowledge let alone choosing to stay ignorant. The reason behind this is we tend to draw out faults in others which we see in ourselves, only vocally. People often don’t realize the lengths they go to while addressing their unpopular concerns to society which really don’t need any special recognition in the first place. Let me get this straight, I am not meaning to downgrade any person, but we usually toss scrap material in the junkyard right? (Metaphorically speaking.) Well, this is just the same. When I say ‘Park Prejudice in the junkyard’, I mean to park it permanently. For the victims of prejudice whose daily tranquility is leveraged for the world, society will get better, for, in the end, people do end up living in regret because of the things they have said or done.

Harper Lee rightly quotes, “Prejudice, a dirty word, and Faith, a clean one, have something in common, they both begin where reason ends.”

Episode 2

Stop The Stereotyping Saga

“Josh put down that barbie! Take this car. You are not supposed to play with barbies, that’s what girls play with.”

-“But mom, toys are toys. I can play with whichever toy I want to. There is no book where it is written boys cannot play with barbies.”

-“Yes but that is not a masculine thing to do. It brings out the feminine side of you.”

-“Then I guess I was just born this way.”

This saga is going to be continued for at least a few decades. As harsh as it sounds, we all at some point have been susceptible to stereotyping. Forget equality, men too have been prone to behave in a particular way. They are expected to have a six or seven-figure income when sometimes all he wants to do is start his own business from scratch. Sometimes, it's not always about joining the family business.?

When considering the women and girls’ part, the list is endless.?

Why wear that??

Why say that?

Don’t you have any manners?

You shouldn’t be the one to look at.

Your future is decided

You will always be benighted?

Cooking and cleaning is your only job

Oh! Beware of that hot hob

His goals are goals

But to please others is her only role

Career stands out of the question?

For that counts for unwanted attention

Just give her a chance perhaps

Give her a pen instead of a rolling pin and see how she raises the stacks.

I guess this does away with the fact that no matter how much we try and preach to the world to cease stereotyping, it just sometimes brings out the best in them.?

Now wouldn’t it be interesting to find out what goes on in that moment when someone looks at you and draws all sorts of conclusions? (As quoted by Malcolm Gladwell)

Episode 3

Everything Does Not Have To Be Physically Picturesque

“Sweetie, wear this dress for the party.”

-“No mom, I don’t quite like it, plus I wouldn’t be so comfortable wearing such a heavy dress. I’ll wear a lighter dress, probably a not-so-happening one.”

-” It is a great dress, you will look fabulous. And what will others think if you’re the only one dressed so casually? You need to always look good in front of other people. People usually form their opinions by the way one dresses. What if they don’t like you? Won’t you feel bad then?”

-“Then I guess that’s their problem.”

?Ever heard of this line that goes, ‘Looks can be deceiving.’ People have made things look like physical beauty is the key to look good. We beings are ostentatious and continue to be the same until we realize it is doing us no good. Reality always sets in. Our perceptions often deceive us unknowingly. We may say we don’t judge when in reality, we’re the masters of it. Sometimes a person may be exceptionally charming on the outside but may be stone-hearted on the inside. It doesn’t really take much to appreciate things that are generally disregarded.?

It's never too late to realize that being a people pleaser often does no good in the long run. We make ourselves what people want us to be. Picturesque means something visually attractive and most of the time we form unpopular opinions about people merely based on their physical appearance. I guess we have just forgotten how limited a life we have got to not adore people and things around us.?

“Pioneers may be picturesque figures, but they are often rather lonely ones”- Nancy Astor.

Episode 4

Vain(Equals To)Vanity

-“I highly despise people boasting about their incomes and passion related to their work. I mean yes I get it you love your job even if the returns are less. I know I make two grand more than him, but I don’t go on telling every other person right?”

-” But dear, that is what you’re doing right now. You cannot talk good about yourself at the cost of downgrading his reputation. You say you are proud of yourself, but in reality, you are vain.”

In this era, we have come to believe that one should believe in themselves and love themselves for who they are and not how they appear on the outside. More and more people have started having faith in themselves and putting themselves first. With the ‘self-love is the first love’ mindset, we often make ourselves believe that we are just perfect in all terms. No, don't get me wrong. I too believe that putting yourself first should be the ultimate motive. But not at the cost of forging vanity. This gives rise to vain. That’s when things start taking a turn. We have mixed terms like self-love and being imperfect with pride and vanity. Don’t you think we should be more simple and less vain?

For years the question still remains, why do humans get so truculent when they receive a negative comment? Perhaps we do not respond sportingly and thus form a generic opinion about that particular person. We do not aim at upgrading ourselves rather adhere to raising a wall in front of us. We do want other people to think well of us but we make the mistake of speaking well of ourselves primarily. After all, there is a major difference between vanity and prudence. One of my favorite authors of all times, Jane Austen rightly quotes in her book Pride and Prejudice, “Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

Episode 5

Either Be Fans Of Gender-Equality Or Fanatics Of Gender-Bias, The Choice Is Yours

-“Mom, why is it that 95% of the time only men feature in Forbes magazine?”

-” Women are not given equal privileges. Society is still male-dominating and women do not have an equal say and pay. Moreover, even in such times, women are expected to look after the household first, despite being independent. When it comes to men, they are expected not to wear feminine colors nor are they encouraged to learn household chores. Because then, if done so, wouldn’t it hurt the man’s ego?”

-” I suppose I will break this chain thereafter.”

-” And how so?”

-” I will start off with wearing pink and learning how to cook.”

In life, there are certain things we ignore even when they are right in front of us. There is a difference between not knowing realities and Choosing to ignore them. For years we have seen how society expects us to follow certain rules or to behave in a particular way. Women are often prone to indescribable stigmas. When we speak of Feminism, opposite gender parties often raise undignified questions leading to loathed opinions. Feminism has outgrown and outreached the masses and the number increases day by day. Yet, people supporting the cause are proven as radical feminists. The reason being, somewhere they fear the outcomes of equating gender roles, knowing what significance it holds in the first place. Let’s get this straight, they are scared, period.

There are plenty of cases even today where women are looked down on or not given specific rights they know they deserve and are rightful for. I could list endless examples where people face inequality on the grounds of gender and still, the beliefs would remain unchanged.?

“Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.”- Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre.

Let's start by masking everyday paradoxes, who knows the world might just get better.