Masculine Beauty Redefined (MBR): What Is It?

Masculine Beauty Redefined sounds like an interesting idea; a play on words, but what is it? That is a good guess, but no, it is not a tight male body on the cover of some GQ magazine. If my beloved English 101 teacher, Ms. Jelinek, would describe this concept, she would probably say it is the putting together of words in a thoughtful, yet meaningful way to produce intriguing writing, which makes the reader pause, and think differently. (An example would be a river of milk because those ideas are not normally found together). In this case then, it would be pairing this concept of masculinity, beauty and redefinition to describe this mysterious, yet deeply profound experience that I had, which radically transformed my thinking about the value of a man.

This first exposure revealed the phenomenon of what I now call MBR.

It was the last week before my finals in December of my first quarter in graduate school, and the social work professors were piling on the work. A 22-year-old male friend of mine, (L) and I had agreed to an arrangement in which I could finish my rather difficult paper, which was indeed testing all my morale reserves. The plan involved having him come to my apartment at 1:00 a.m. and walking to the library to finish our collective assignments.

Some time later, I heard an unsettling racket at my door, which broke my deep slumber. I ignored it, but then the knock grew in intensity. I peered over at the alarm clock that read 1:10 a.m., as I desperately tried to resume sleep. Then, there was another rat tat, which was accompanied by an enthusiastic and familiar voice, who seemed delighted by the pursuit of accomplishing this difficult task of waking me.    

My fight or flight finally kicked in. I responded weakly with, “Oh no, L, I cannot get up, I am so tired with just three hours of sleep.” However, my faithful friend was determined to not quit. In between one of these incessant taps of his, I finally relented and opened the door, as he promised to be there for me in my incapacitated state. He listened so attentively to my rapid-fire complaints, which ranged from having to do this rigorous assignment to my hair being a mess. The patience he endured while helping me put on a bulky sweat shirt, since I fell asleep fully clothed, was rather impressive.   

The walk to the library started out pretty lousy. L sensed my strong resistance and the need I had for emotional and physical support, so he kindly offered his arm as only a gentleman would do in trying circumstances like these. Since other reinforcements were necessary, he began singing a song from The Wiz. Somehow his joyfulness alleviated my weariness, and quite miraculously, I got stronger with each passing step, and was able to even enjoy the mildly-chilled night air. When we finally arrived, I had surprisingly mustered up the motivation to work, and the grueling assignment got done.  

During this experience, I did not have the words to describe how L made me feel so secure, as he empowered me to do the impossible. I just knew that I needed support from my friend. Through a bit of analysis though, I realized something much deeper occurred inside of me, which has forever changed my opinion about the contribution of men in general. I concluded that just like my friend L, other young fellas could similarly choose to use their strength and resolve to advocate for those in vulnerable states, in the same way he did for me.          

All I can say is this experience showed me Masculine Beauty Redefined, otherwise known as MBR, at its finest.

Thank you, for reading.     

What stories of MBR can you share?  They would be well appreciated.

Author's Bio

Karen Bontrager helps 16-24-year-old men make permanent shifts in their behavior from merely surviving in life to thriving through transparent coaching/counseling in one-on-one conversations and in group work, and through topic sensitive workshops. With this ontological approach, I partner with my clients to discover their essence, (aka highest and best self) by powerfully reflecting and listening to them. My clients quickly learn how to generate self-awareness and to voice their own relationship needs in a clear, constructive way by learning key coaching techniques/evidenced based counseling approaches/tools to work past their traumatic events and addictions to move forward. The clients are then equipped to develop healthy relationships with key relationships: parents/siblings/friends, and with intimate dating partners because they have learned how to proactively use their voice.