Marvin Gaye Wrote A Song What's Going On?

Another question from Quora.

It’s been 11 months. We want to build a life together. I want to eventually ask her to be my GF but I just lost my business & money & feel less of a man & not worthy. She wants a title but I can’t give her that yet because of my finances. What do I do?

My Response:

Happy Saturday, my friend.

Can you clarify this statement?

‘’ She wants a title.’’

I need some clarity here.

You said it’s been 11 months and you want to eventually ask her to be your girl-friend.

On average my friend, it doesn’t take 11 months to ask a young lady to start a romantic

relationship with you-more like 6 months.

So what is the real truth of the matter here?

Are you two just friends and you’re fantasizing about being romantic with her?

Even though finances are important in any relationship it should not be the only reason to be in one.

I get it I’ve been married for 18 years and have a 35-year-old son.

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself:

What are my two major goals in life?

Do I understand my 5 basic needs?

1. Desire to be the best man that you can be.
2. Respect-Self-Esteem, Status, Recognition.
3. Safety Needs-Personal Security, Employment, Resources, Health, Property.
4. Family, Love, Connection.
5. Physiological Needs-air, water, food, sleep, shelter, being productive.

Look these over, study them, and write down your answers.

After that set practical goals to improve on the ones you need to strengthen.

Why?

It takes some real soul-searching to make a male to female relationship to grow and become strong.

I commend you you’ve already recognized numbers 1, 2, & 3 already.

Just take some time to think things through and if she’s the one for you she will do the same.

Caution:

It’s never a good thing to date a woman who doesn’t:

1. Understands who she really is in other words unfortunately some women look for a man in Bright Shining Armor whom she thinks is going to sweep her off of her feet and all of her problems will just disappear overnight-it’s called The Hero Syndrom.
2. Has no major goals of educating herself, making wise financial investments, takes 100 % responsibility for her own actions.
3. Has no understanding of a man’s need for Respect, Moral Support, Recreational Companionship, Being Healthy & Attractive As A Woman, Sexual Fulfillment-Behavior Experts place this on the top of the list and Variety.

On that note your lady friend what type of books she likes to read and then compare it to the information you just read.

Her response will let you know how mature she really is.

I know a guy that followed a woman’s Hips, Curves, and Dips.

• He was warned twice by sound counsel not to marry this woman who stems from another country.
• The woman used him to get her Green Card /U.S. Citizenship Status.
• Send her kids money overseas.
• She has no plans on furthering her education.
• Doesn’t have her driver's license and isn’t even thinking about it.
• Her grown daughter is disrespectful to the Man of The House who pays all the bills by the way-including a new mortgage on a beautiful home-it’s a Historical Landmark in a certain city.
• The grown daughter is sloppy, uses their washer & dryer at will, doesn’t offer her mother or step-father a red cent, and spends the night whenever she wants.
• The husband is too afraid to put his foot down.

So please follow the sound advice you’ve just been given.

I Wish You The Best of The Best In All Of Your Relationship Endeavors My Friend.

PS.

Here’s an excellent book to study and help you further:

His Needs/ Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr available on Amazon.

Plus Dr. Harley & His Pretty Wife (Whew) are on YouTube!

Now for you Single Men on LinkedIn What's Going On?

There are a lot of single women on LinkedIn who from various observations are:

• Well Educated
• Wise & Business-Minded
• Purpose-Driven
• Mature
• Confident
• Have Sound Values & Ethics
• Classy
• Adventurous
• Love Variety
• Humorous
• Hate Baby Moma's Drama
• Fun To Be With
• Family Orientated
• Attractive-Lord Have Mercy On This One!