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Kinship #47

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I've felt really upset by this whole "quiet quitting" debate!

Putting in extra hours or taking on additional responsibilities to prove my worth is not something I have been adverse to in my career and it still isn’t!

But, if work is consuming your life and you're expected to do 3 people’s jobs….?

Realigning your priorities to avoid burnout or having some kind of mental health crisis is perfectly reasonable!

It isn’t quiet quitting……it is actually helpful for those who perhaps don't have the privilege to quit their job, without having another one to move into!

Or maybe this is an act of defiance, in environments where passive aggression is the only acceptable form of challenge?

Passive Aggression, Loud Leaving

There’s a wide spectrum of passive-aggressive behaviours, unlike overt aggression or abuse

Passive-aggressive behaviour in the workplace can be just as harmful, both to those on the receiving end and broader company culture.

However, it is more subtle and harder to detect.

Allowing colleagues to demonstrate hostility towards one another, without having to resort to the type of open aggression that would immediately land them in hot water!

In my current role, 73% of the women I support experience passive-aggressive behaviour in one form or another, quite often micro-aggressions, but their is nothing micro about them!

They feel demoralised and it contributes towards feelings of insecurity on many levels, impacting their performance, including becoming a perfectionist, workaholic superwoman to overcompensate!

Nothing was off limits for the spiteful comments disguised as jokes & constant 'feedback' to 'support' my improvement!

I often encourage the women I work with not just to fend off the impact, but to call out this behaviour and speak truth to power……

So, whether it is 'quiet quitting', 'loud leaving' or 'The great resignation', perhaps these are all ways for aggression to be expressed safely?

Why Safe Spaces?

No workplace is exempt from these insidious aggressions – including playing dumb, gaslighting or stalling critical tasks deliberately.

I think every leader could benefit from a deeper capacity or tolerance for aggression, including gaining a greater awareness about their own imperfections and limitations!

It is very hard to speak truth to power or call out hypocrisy, especially in sub-ordinate relationships, because often power dynamics are associated with fear of reprisals or consequences.

I run a Safe Space for diverse women the First Friday of every month. This space provides containment to explore challenging topics, as well as a place you can meet some of your BIGGEST LinkedIn cheerleaders within your sphere of influence & beyond.

It is a like-minded community that welcomes difference. You don't need to code switch or become a cardboard cut out version of yourself. Show up as yourself! We got you!

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If you have been effected by this passive aggressive behaviour, or are struggling with your self worth due to your work. I would love to connect here

Everyday Leadership

A pleasure to share my views with Sope Agbelusi on his amazing podcast creating inclusive cultures & leaders through talking openly about mental health. Listen here

Bitesize weekly content!

We hope you have enjoyed it. See you next week x

PS If you want to hang out.?Kinship is a Safe Space for Diverse Women

The first Friday of each month we will explore the intersectionality of Race & Mental Health. Join us. Please register?here

Albert Slocum, Jr., B.B.A., M.A., M.S.

Prince Georgians for Albert Slocum. Fresh Face, Strong Leadership, Positive Results-Prince George’s Strong!!!

2 年

Interestingly smart!

Tom Morgan

Psychotherapist, IP Rights Specialist and Organisational Management Consultant

2 年

Workplace cultures are co-created by all employees. The policy and tone may be set by the senior staff, but the actual workplace experience is a product of the chemistry between colleagues, much of which is unconscious. If we are fortunate enough to be able to choose workplaces based on how well staff are treated, we are very lucky. For the rest of us, there is a more complicated challenge of thinking about how we can nurture a positive culture with colleagues who bring a vast array of different attitudes, experiences and habits to the workplace, and who may never have experienced (at home or at work) the positivity which we want to offer them and also receive from them. In these circumstances, we are not our colleagues therapists, counsellors or (often) managers, so our authority is limited, and it seems to me that our main tool for change is to lead by example, holding firmly but kindly to our values and, as Marteka says, continually and openly exploring the discussion about what makes a good workplace.

Jasmin Shepherd

HR Business Partner - Embedding people-centric goals to achieve business excellence via strategic change

2 年

Thanks for sharing and shining a light on the impacts of behaviours that can lead to the questioning of yourself as an employee, dissatisfaction in the workplace et al. Safe spaces, spotlight on workplace culture, empowerment to being true self is vital for today's companies especially in terms of attracting talent and retaining existing talent.

Dr Gifford Rhamie (PhD, FAETC)

Public Speaker | Executive Leadership Consultant (DEIB) and Intersectional Educator | Making Inclusion and belonging a lived reality | Pianist/musician | Board Member

2 年

Excellent post, Marteka Swaby. Thanks for your perseverance in wanting to show and exemplify a balanced way forward!

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