To Marry or Not to Marry by Olusola Joshua Opaleye

"When you make a decision, you're also choosing the consequences of that decision." - Paul Coelho

Until February of this year, I never imagined I'd be in a conversation where I'd need to convince a brother to consider marriage. While marriage is a choice, it never occurred to me that someone would decide against it, and legitimately so. So, why marry? What's in marriage?

For Christians, marriage dates back to Genesis 2:18, where God declared, "It is not good for a man to be alone." This implies that the primary purpose of marriage is companionship, defined as a friendly relationship that alleviates loneliness.

For many, the fear of being alone drives their decision to marry. Others seek marriage for procreation, to leave a legacy through their children. And then, there's the biological motivator of sex, a natural desire fueled by testosterone.

However, some individuals have legitimate reasons to say no to marriage. Despite no biological defects, some men may opt out due to a desire for independence, as marriage requires total dependence and accountability. Past negative experiences, such as growing up in dysfunctional homes, can also shape their beliefs and decisions. Additionally, career priorities and a focus on success may leave no room for emotional attachment and marriage.

These individuals may ask, "Is it worth it?" given the risks of emotional trauma, lack of trust, and turning out like their fathers or being victims like their mothers. With increasing career opportunities and a focus on success, marriage may not be a consideration for those with razor-sharp focus and insane deadlines."

In conclusion, the decision to marry or not is a personal choice that depends on various factors, including one's beliefs, experiences, and priorities. While marriage offers companionship, procreation, and emotional and biological fulfillment, it also requires dependence, accountability, and compromise. For some, the fear of being alone, past negative experiences, or career priorities may lead them to opt out of marriage. Ultimately, it's essential to respect individual choices and recognize that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to marriage. Whether one chooses to marry or not, what matters most is finding happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose in life.

Remember, "It's not good for a man (or woman) to be alone," but it's also important to consider personal circumstances and aspirations before making a decision.

The understanding that each person's journey in life is unique will help us embrace our diversities and support each other whether they involve marriage or not.

If you are aged from 18-40 years and you like the idea of belonging to a community of excellent and righteous young men or you are even above 40 and you’d like to be one of our mentors, feel very free to join the Real Boys Forum (RBF) by clicking on https://bit.ly/therbf.

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