Marriages are made in Heaven; Divorces are made in Hell

This is a common saying that suggests that the union of two people in marriage is a divinely ordained and blessed event, while the dissolution of that union through divorce is a painful and difficult experience. The idea behind this saying is that marriage is a sacred institution, ordained by a higher power, and that it is meant to last for a lifetime. Divorce, on the other hand, is seen as a failure or a sin, and it is often associated with pain, suffering, and a sense of loss.

Vedic marriage

The boy takes this vow that "I take responsibility of your maintenance throughout your whole life," and the girl promises that "I desire to serve you throughout my whole life." So the woman, the female, is the energy. When a man comes at home, he sees that everything is nicely decorated, my wife is well-dressed and foodstuff is nicely prepared, he becomes encouraged. He can work more nicely. Therefore woman is the energy. The woman gives the energy and he can work.?

There are many purificatory processes for advancing a human being to spiritual life. The marriage ceremony, for example, is considered to be one of these sacrifices. It is called vivaha-yajna. . . . The Lord says here that any sacrifice that is meant for human welfare should never be given up. Vivaha-yajna, the marriage ceremony, is meant to regulate the human mind so that it may become peaceful for spiritual advancement. (Bg. 18.5, purport)

"That ceremony is so nice, the wife takes "My husband for life" and the husband takes wife, "She is my companion for life." They cannot separate. There is no history in India that there was a certificate issued. No. But still, their connection is so nice, that life long. Now, they are being westernized, especially I am very sorry to say that lately our so-called westernized leaders they are introducing this Hindu code bill, this marriage certificate, this and that. But formerly they weren't existing."

Marriage based on the principles of religious life is therefore current in all civilized human society because that is the way for restricted sex life. This restricted, unattached sex life is also a kind of yajna because the restricted householder sacrifices his general tendency toward sense gratification for higher, transcendental life. (Bg. 4.26, purport)

The Vedas prescribe, therefore, sacred marriage for regulated sense gratification. Thereby one is gradually elevated to the platform of release from material bondage, and the highest perfection of liberated life is to associate with the Supreme Lord. (Bg. 4.31, purport)

Marriage, or the combination of a man with a woman, is necessary for progeny, but it is not meant for sense enjoyment. In the absence of voluntary restraint, there is propaganda for family planning, but foolish men do not know that family planning is automatically executed as soon as there is search after the Absolute Truth. (SB 1.2.10, purport)

Marriage means taking complete charge of a woman and living peacefully without debauchery. At the present moment, however, debauchery is unrestricted. (SB 4.26.6, purport)

Srila Prabhupada says:

Nātha ?means “husband,” and? a ?means “without.” A young woman who has no husband is called?anātha,?meaning “one who is not protected.” As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband. Anyone who satisfies her desire for sex at that age becomes a great object of satisfaction. It is a psychological fact that when a woman at the age of puberty meets a man and the man satisfies her sexually, she will love that man for the rest of her life, regardless who he is. Thus so-called love within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction. A real wife is?dharma-patnī. ?That is, a woman accepted in marriage by ritualistic ceremony is called? dharma-patnī, ?which signifies that she is accepted in terms of religious principles. Children born of?dharma-patnī,?or a woman married according to religious principles, inherit the property of the father, but children born of a woman who is not properly married do not inherit the father’s property. The word? dharma-patnī ?also refers to a chaste wife. A chaste wife is one who never had any connection with men before her marriage. Once a woman is given the freedom to mingle with all kinds of men in her youth, it is very difficult for her to keep chaste. She generally cannot remain chaste. When butter is brought into the proximity of fire, it melts. The woman is like fire, and man is like the butter. But if one gets a chaste wife, accepted through a religious marriage ritual, she can be of great help when one is threatened by the many dangerous situations of life. Actually such a wife can become the source of all good intelligence. With such a good wife, the family’s engagement in the devotional service of the Lord actually makes a home a? g?hastha-ā?rama, ?or household dedicated to spiritual cultivation.??? To to marry and to become an exemplary householder is the ideal life of Krishna Consciousness.?If the girl who is willing to marry you becomes Krishna Conscious, and as I think you are already Krishna Conscious, it will be a nice combination, provided you live under bona fide guidance. I am very much pleased that you wish to live under my guidance, and if you actually follow, then I can nicely direct you, even in your married life.??(More...)

Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter dated June 16, 1975 hand delivered by?Brahmananda?Swami.?So now that you are married you work together to spread?Krsna?consciousness. Marriage means that one's service becomes doubled, but at the same time we have to be very careful not to fall into sense gratification. That tendency is there, and we have to be always vigilant. Best thing is to chant carefully our 16 rounds on the beads and always think of?Krsna.??(More...)

Man and woman should live together as householders in relationship with K???a, only for the purpose of discharging duties in the service of K???a.

Man and woman should live together as householders in relationship with?K???a, only for the purpose of discharging duties in the service of?K???a. Engage the children, engage the wife and engage the husband, all in?K???a?conscious duties, and then all these bodily or material attachments will disappear. Since the via medium is?K???a, the consciousness is pure, and there is no possibility of degradation at any time.

Marriages are complex and multifaceted relationships that can be influenced by a wide range of factors, including personal compatibility, cultural norms, social pressures, economic conditions, and many other variables. Similarly, divorce can be a difficult and painful experience.

The saying "Marriages are made in Heaven; Divorces are made in Hell" may be a comforting idea.

Is Astrology important?

The custom in Vedic society is to examine the horoscopes of a girl and boy being considered for marriage to see whether their combination is suitable. Vedic astrology reveals whether one has been born in the vipra-varna, kshatriya-varna, vaishya-varna or Shudra-varna, according to the three qualities of material nature. This must be examined because a marriage between a boy of the vipra-varna and a girl of the Shudra-varna is incompatible; married life would be miserable for both husband and wife. Consequently, a boy should marry a girl of the same category. Of course, this is trai-gunya, a material calculation according to the Vedas, but if the boy and girl are devotees there need be no such considerations. A devotee is transcendental, and therefore in a marriage between devotees, the boy and girl form a very happy combination. (SB 6.2.26, purport)

If according to astrological calculations the boy and girl were compatible in every respect, the match was called yotaka and the marriage would be accepted. . . . Regardless of the affluence of the boy or the personal beauty of the girl, without this astrological compatibility the marriage would not take place. (SB 9.18.23, purport)

Who is a Dharma-Patni?

A real wife is dharma-patni. That is, a woman accepted in marriage by ritualistic ceremony is called dharma-patni, which signifies that she is accepted in terms of religious principles. Children born of dharma-patni . . . inherit the property of the father, but children born of a woman who is not properly married do not inherit the father’s property. The word dharma-patni also refers to a chaste wife. A chaste wife is one who never had any connection with men before her marriage. (SB 4.26.16, purport)

Duty of Parents

It is the duty of a father and mother to arrange for the marriage of their sons and daughters. . . . Sons and daughters should not be allowed freedom to intermingle with the opposite sex unless they are married. This Vedic social organization is very good in that it stops the promulgation of illicit sex life, or varna-sankara, which appears under different names in this present day. (SB 4.27.8, purport)

What about Divorce?

Ca?ākya Pa??ita is giving too much stress on mother and wife in family life. So he says if one's mother is dead and if his wife is not very..., apriya-vādinī, and does not behave very well, ill-behaving, so Ca?ākya Pa??ita advises him that aranya? tena gantavyam: such person should immediately go to the forest. Because in the Vedic understanding there is no?divorce. If the wife is not very pleasing, there is no question of?divorcing. Ca?ākya Pa??ita does not advise it, the advise that he should?divorce?such wife, but he says, aranya? tena gantavyam: he should give up family life and go to the forest.?Divorce?was completely unknown, even up to, say, five years ago. Now this Nehru government has enacted?Divorce?Act in Hindu law, but actually, Hindu law-maker, they have no such thing as?divorce. [2]

“A man wants a woman, and a woman wants a man, so we say, “All right, take it. Live peacefully, but don’t change partners.” We don’t allow divorce; once they’re married there is no separation.”

–?Srila Prabhupada in an interview with the New York Times,-September 2, 1972, New Vrindavan

“Here, what is going on as love, that is not love, that is lust. A boy loves a girl, a girl loves a boy. That is not love, that is lust. As soon as there is some disturbance in lusty affair, they divorce. So therefore that is not love. So we should note it, that so-called love is bogus in this material world. Love cannot be possible. This very word love, prema, is specially reserved for Krsna. Premā pum-artho mahān. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s preaching, that the highest perfection of life is to evoke one’s dormant love for Krsna.”

–?Srila Prabhupada in a lecture on SB 2.3.1-3, Los Angeles, May 22, 1972

“According to the Vedic civilization,?one cannot give up the responsibilities of family life, but today everyone is giving up family life by divorce. This is due to the miserable condition experienced in the family. Sometimes, due to misery, one becomes very hardened toward his affectionate sons, daughters and wife. This is but part of the blazing fire of the forest of material life.”

–?Srimad Bhagavatam 5.14.19, Bhaktivedanta Purport

“Generally the parents select the husband or wife for their daughter or son, but gāndharva marriage takes place by personal selection. Still, although marriage by personal selection or by agreement took place in the past, we find no such thing as divorce by disagreement. Of course, divorce by disagreement took place among low-class men, but marriage by agreement was found even in the very highest classes, especially in the royal k?atriya families.”

–?Srimad Bhagavatam 9.20.15, Bhaktivedanta Purport

“Even if he is not of very good character, or even if he is not very rich or fortunate, or even if he is old or invalid on account of continued diseases, whatever her husband’s condition, a woman should not divorce her husband if she actually desires to be elevated to the higher planetary systems after leaving this body.”

–?Krsna Book,?Chapter 29

“Everyone is trying to satisfy his or her senses. A woman is loving a man for satisfying her senses, and the man is loving a woman for satisfying. Therefore, as soon as there is some little disturbance in the sense gratification, divorce. “I don’t want it.” Because the central point is personal sense gratification. But we can make a picture, show-bottle, “Oh, I love you so much. I love you so much.” There is no love. It is all kāma, lust.”

–?Srila Prabhupada lecture on BG 2.9, London, August 15, 1973

“Please know it that I do not approve anyone’s separation who are married by me. If they disagree, they may live separately, but there cannot be divorce. When one is separate, one may fully devote in Krishna, but no more marriage.”

–?Srila Prabhupada in a letter to Krsna Devi, Delhi, 29 September, 1967

References:

1. https://blog.devoteematch.com/2017/10/09/marriage-ties-by-his-divine-grace-a-c-bhaktivedanta-swami-prabhupada/
2. https://vaniquotes.org/wiki/Divorce_(Conversations)
3. https://blog.devoteematch.com/2017/05/15/srila-prabhupada-on-divorce/