Marriage, Motherhood and Mayhem - Book Review

On Careers:

I hear this question all the time. It feels like an unfair dichotomy—like being forced to choose one path or the other. It's a real conundrum.?

?

Would you rather be a stay-at-home mom or elbow your way up the male-dominated career ladder??

?

Has anyone ever asked a man: ''Would you rather be a stay-at-home dad or elbow your way up the career ladder?''?

?

Like Verah in Mikayi, I want to be a full worker inside my home and a full worker outside my home.?

?

- Why should ambition outside the home mean abandoning ambition within it??

- Who decided that work within the home is any less valuable than work outside it??

- The pressure to conform to binary roles often overlooks the richness of choosing both.?

- We need to normalize women taking on multifaceted identities without guilt or judgment.?

?

The question isn't 'this or that.' The question is: Why can't it be both—or more?

On the Joys and Challenges of Parenting:

Each parent brings a unique perspective, style, and strengths that shape a child's perception.

No two kids are alike.

-????????? They'll ask endless questions.

-????????? They'll challenge your priorities, forcing you to focus on what truly matters.

-????????? They'll will test your patience, pushing boundaries you didn’t even know existed.

-????????? They'll surprise you with resilience, creativity, and wisdom beyond their years.

-????????? They'll mirror your actions, often showing you parts of yourself that need growth.

-????????? They'll teach you humility because no parenting book can fully prepare you for their uniqueness.

On House Managers:

Imagine this: you're fast asleep when you suddenly hear a baby crying. Disoriented, you glance to the side and see your little one peacefully asleep. Yet the crying continues—and it doesn't sound like it’s coming from your other child either.

?

You get up to investigate, and to your astonishment, you discover that your house manager has just delivered a baby all by herself. In your bathroom ??.

?

On one hand, you're overwhelmed with relief and gratitude that both mother and baby are safe.

?

On the other hand, a chilling thought crosses your mind: What if something had gone wrong? A complicated birth could have had devastating consequences—and might even have led to a police case.

?

On Marriage:

There's an unspoken, and often overwhelming, long to-do list that seems to come with marriage for women. The expectations are endless: maintaining a home, managing a career, nurturing relationships, raising children, and often prioritizing everyone else’s needs above their own.

But do men face the same set of expectations? Or is the burden unevenly distributed?

It raises a deeper question: does marriage favor men more than it does women?

Verah captures this imbalance perfectly when she asks, ''Is marriage a Husband-Care Center?'' (Mikayi, pg. 147).

Think about it. In many cultures, women are expected to shoulder the emotional labor of the relationship, remember birthdays and anniversaries, and make sure the family runs smoothly.

Meanwhile, societal expectations for men in marriage often remain focused on financial provision and little else.

Is this fair? Shouldn't marriage be about mutual support and shared responsibilities?

Perhaps it's time to redefine what partnership means in a modern marriage. One where both partners carry the weight equally and thrive together.

*****

I highly recommend this book to both younger and older women—and men too. It’s incredibly relatable. At times, you'll nod in agreement; at others, you'll find yourself sucking on your cheeks. But most importantly, you’ll walk away with valuable lessons.

Mikayi is available at Nuria Bookstore.