Marriage Material

“You should treat your marriage like a business that you wouldn’t want to let fail.”

I recently came across this quote (attributable to several different people) and found it to be very interesting. At first I thought it was a bit callous to compare a lifetime commitment to a business arrangement. But I believe there’s a greater message in there about the amount of effort it takes to sustain a marriage – or a business, for that matter.

It takes work. And even if you put in the work, it still may fail, but you work at it.?

In that respect, the two are similar.

But here’s the difference. In the business world, going the extra mile leads to recognition, sometimes even a financial reward. In marriage, however, there are no incentives attached. In fact, it’s expected. If one person is down, the other picks them up. If one person can only do half of what they usually do, the other does twice as much.

Today marks 16 years since my husband and I exchanged vows, and I think we can both say that everything has not been a 50-50 split. We’ve each gone through slumps and streaks, but always as partners.

Although there are a number of examples I can recall, one in particular stands out. In early 2018, I was going through an extremely difficult time, and was unable to provide the care that our twins (then five years old) needed, and so Dan took over. Despite also working a full-time job, he accepted the double duty of getting the kids ready for school, preparing all of their meals, playing with them, reading to them, putting them to bed, and doing all the household chores, while still caring for me.?

The part I remember most during that hazy time is knowing that no matter how tough it got, he was going to be there for me and the kids. When I could only contribute 10 percent, he picked up the other 90. And because of that, I was able to focus on healing.

While there’s no bonus in stepping up the way he did, to me it was invaluable. I can’t think of a better trait to ask for in any type of partner.

Happy anniversary, Dan!

“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.” - Antoine De Saint-Exupery