Marketing, Sales, and Operations Are Not Your Friends Either (and Finance Has Been Talking Behind Your Back)

Picture this: an employee just stormed out of HR's office, furiously typing on her phone. "HR is not your friend!" she posts on LinkedIn, garnering immediate sympathy reactions. Meanwhile, Finance has been meticulously documenting her late expense reports since 2019, Operations stopped inviting her to process improvement meetings months ago, and Sales has been avoiding her ever since she questioned their quarterly numbers.

Welcome to the modern workplace, where apparently everyone expected lifelong friendships but got professional relationships instead.

The "Friend Intervention" You Didn't Know You Needed

Let's have an honest conversation about your workplace "friendships." Marketing isn't really interested in your weekend plans – they're mining your stories for social media content. Sales' enthusiasm for lunch isn't about your sparkling personality – they're practicing their pitch. Operations doesn't ignore your emails because they're mean; they're just tired of explaining why your "creative" process improvements would violate six different safety regulations.

And Finance? Well, Finance keeps spreadsheets about your spreadsheets.

What Real Friendship Looks Like (And Why You Don't Actually Want It at Work)

True friendship involves unconditional support, keeping secrets, and putting each other first. It's about emotional bonds, personal loyalty, and voluntary association. There are no KPIs in friendship, no quarterly reviews, and definitely no compliance requirements.

Now imagine if your workplace actually operated on friendship principles:

• "Sorry, shareholders, we couldn't make our targets this quarter because Finance approved budgets only for their lunch buddies."
• "We had to scrap the entire marketing campaign because someone didn't want to hurt their friend's feelings about their design skills."
• "Operations delayed the product launch because it was Tom’s birthday."
• “No, we didn’t run payroll last Friday because Sally really needed a spa day, and I couldn’t just say no, she’s such a good friend.

Sounds absurd, doesn't it?

What Would "HR as Your Friend" Actually Look Like?

Since we're entertaining this idea, let's fully envision HR operating under "friendship" principles:

• "Of course I'll keep your harassment complaint quiet – you asked me to, and friends don't tell. Mum’s the word!"
• "Don't worry about those performance issues. I'll just lose the documentation somewhere."
• "Sure, let's hire your roommate! Who cares about qualifications when they come with great recommendations?"
• "That salary discussion we had? My lips are sealed, even from leadership. Pinky promise!"

Starting to see the problem…?

What If We Applied the "Friendship Standard" to Other Departments?

Why stop at HR? Let's hold everyone to this friendship bar:

Finance: "Expense reports? Pffft! Just write the amounts on a napkin whenever you remember. Friends trust each other!"

Legal: "Contracts are just suggestions. We’ll just shake hands, let's not get hung up on the fine print."

Operations: "Quality standards are really more like quality guidelines when you're buddies."

Sales: "Special discounts for everyone! What's profit margin between friends?"

IT: "Password security is for people with trust issues. I got you, bro."

What Professional Relationships Actually Offer

Here's the plot twist: professional relationships, when done right, are actually better than workplace friendships. They offer:

• Clear boundaries that protect everyone involved
• Objective standards that ensure fair treatment
• Accountability that drives organizational success
• Professional support without personal entanglement

These relationships can be respectful, positive, and valuable without crossing into friendship territory. They're built on mutual understanding of roles, responsibilities, and organizational objectives.

The HR Case Study: Why They Get Singled Out

HR often bears the brunt of the "not your friend" accusations because they sit at the intersection of organizational needs and employee expectations, acting as an employee advocate (not the same as friend), while managing priorities that are sometimes conflicting with each other. They're tasked with:

• Maintaining workplace standards and compliance
• Managing sensitive situations and conflicts
• Balancing individual desires with organizational requirements
• Making and communicating difficult decisions

Their role isn't to be your friend – it's to ensure a functional, compliant, and productive workplace. And yes, sometimes that means having uncomfortable conversations or making unpopular decisions.

The False Dichotomy: Friend or Foe?

Here's where the "HR is not your friend" narrative goes off the rails: it implies that if HR isn't your friend, they must be your enemy. This creates a false dichotomy that damages workplace relationships and productivity.

Just because HR (or any department) isn't there to be your friend doesn't mean they're out to get you. Think about other professional relationships in your life: your doctor isn't your friend, but they're committed to your health. Your financial advisor isn't your buddy, but they work to protect your interests. Your child's teacher isn't a personal friend, but they care about your child's success.

Professional ≠ Jerks: The Standard of Behavior

Let's be crystal clear: "not your friend" is never a license for unprofessional behavior. No department – HR included – gets a free pass to:

• Treat people disrespectfully
• Communicate rudely or dismissively
• Ignore legitimate concerns or legal protections
• Act with unnecessary harshness
• Hide behind its just business to justify poor behavior

Professional distance doesn't mean emotional distance. You can be professionally objective while still being empathetic, kind, and understanding. In fact, the best HR professionals (and other department leaders) excel at maintaining this balance.

A Better Framework: Professional Partnerships

Instead of seeking friendship from organizational functions, try viewing them as professional partners:

• HR partners with you on career development and workplace concerns
• Finance partners with you on resource management
• Operations partners with you on process efficiency
• Marketing partners with you on brand representation

These partnerships are based on mutual professional respect, clear expectations, and shared organizational goals. They're more sustainable, more productive, and frankly, more appropriate than friendship.

Friend? Foe? “Froe”? Let’s call it a Productive Professional Partner instead.

The next time you're tempted to post about HR not being your friend, remember none of your workplace departments are your friends. They're not supposed to be. They're professional functions doing their jobs – and that's exactly what you want them to be. The goal isn't friendship or enmity; it's building productive professional relationships based on mutual respect, clear boundaries, and shared objectives.

Besides, if you're really looking for friendship at work, there's always Bob, the goldfish from the reception desk fishtank. Though between us, I heard it's been reporting your coffee breaks to Management.

Follow me, Hernan Chiosso, CSPO, SPHR ?? and ProductizeHR , where I publish periodically on AI, Future of Work, HR Technology, Product Management and, occasionally, plain HR.