Marketers: Stop trying to be the Pope!

You know the Pope, yeah? Absolute mad lad. God’s appointed representative on Earth, you won’t see that job advertised in the dole office window. One thing a lot of people get wrong though, they think Catholics believe that anything the Pope says has to be/is automatically true.

That’s not quite the case. Hold on, I promise I’ll get to marketing in a mo. But the Pope only enjoys papal infallibility when he speaks ex cathedra. That means ‘from the chair.’ In this case, the chair of Saint Peter. That mostly comes when he’s making an official decision on faith or morals or whatnot.

99.9% of the time when the Pope speaks, he’s only speaking as little Jorge from the block; a mortal, imperfect human being. When he speaks ex cathedra, his words are informed by millennia of tradition, politics, culture and other baggage. In short, the Pope has to speak bloody carefully when he speaks with the voice of God.

Now, marketing.

Businesses make their employees speak ex cathedra at all times. Answers to seemingly innocent questions have to be informed by office politics, the boss’ ego, the realities of the job and what mood Sandra from HR is in today. Conversations are so loaded that you’re barely speaking as a human being at all.

It’s not that all business cultures punish honesty. It’s more that each business has its own version of honesty? which comes packaged with so much context that it might as well be theology. Human nature means businesses couldn't run without honesty? but Jesus Christ on a bike, it makes for some soggy dogshit marketing.

Creative work is not consumed ex cathedra. Out in the wild, real human beings do not know about and should not suffer from workplace baggage. But look at most small business marketing; a mess of overexplained beige jargon. You can taste the sadness that fuelled its creative process.

This all sounds doom and gloom but fear not. I’ve worked with hundreds of businesses, each with their own culture, and I’m here to tell you that creativity can thrive in any professional environment if it’s allowed to.

Marketing departments should exist as their own ritual space with one foot in the illusory world of business and one foot in the real world. They should be free to ignore anything that gets in the way of translating what you do into clear, engaging human language.

Committees should be banished back to Hell; they ruin things 100% of the time. One marketing manager and one subject matter expert should be your entire signoff process for everything you produce.

It’s also important to don our grownup pants and talk about who’s suited to marketing and who isn’t. If someone’s low-energy, unfunny, exhausting to be around… why would you ask them to produce something fun and engaging? If you don’t invite them to the pub on Friday, don’t invite them to the marketing meeting on Monday.

Or… ya know… you could just hire a freelancer. Someone who exists outside your business’ context and can make everything feel fresh and exciting again because, to me, it is all fresh and exciting. Don’t feel like you’re losing out on an authoritative voice by hiring an outsider, a good briefing template will capture the essential info (spoilers: I have the best briefing template).

A freelancer will create marketing that’s meant to be enjoyed in its proper place because I don’t know any different. No need to worry about what Jake and Sara got up to at the office party, no nursing resentment from last year’s secret Santa (honestly Carol, another bloody candle?!)

I go in. I produce something elegant and impactful for you. Then I’m out like the milkman. I’m not the Pope, more like a marketing Moses: let’s set your message free and lead it to the promised land.