Marital Unfaithfulness

Marital Unfaithfulness

Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, and one of the key components of a healthy marriage is intimacy, including sexual intimacy. However, as Dr. Kenton Edward Emmanuel Connor highlights in his book "Marital Unfaithfulness," sexual intimacy must be handled with holy fear, as it is a powerful and delicate aspect of marriage.

The book emphasizes that there are occasions in a woman's life when marital relations can be painful, frightening, or humiliating, such as when a woman has not yet physically healed from illness or childbirth, when she fears intercourse would harm her unborn baby, or when she believes there is a significant risk of a third party invading her privacy. It is crucial to note that the issue is the reality as she perceives it, not as her partner sees it.

Furthermore, for women who have suffered sexual abuse, their husbands must exercise restraint, and the time that they must do so will be prolonged. Dr. Connor stresses that anyone foolish enough to marry without seriously seeking God's guidance will have to live with the consequences. However, any man to whom God deliberately entrusts a woman who has suffered sexual abuse is greatly honored, as he is like someone into whose care is entrusted an ever-so-delicate, priceless masterpiece, compared to someone who is given an imitation made of unbreakable plastic. One man is treated like someone highly responsible, while the other might as well be childishly incompetent in matters of true love.

The book also highlights that forcing sex upon a marriage partner who finds the experience traumatic is to take what is divinely intended to be lovemaking and pervert it into sexual abuse. It is sexual abuse because it is an abuse of sex and because it is the sexual abuse of the partner. The fact that the abuser is married to the victim makes it no more acceptable than murder becomes acceptable if the murderer is married to his victim.

Whether one uses physical force or emotional blackmail - anger, sulking, whining, threatened divorce, etc. - makes little moral difference. When marital relations become the infliction of severe physical or emotional pain, a husband who demands his wife submit to it has no more right to think God is on his side than a man who tells his daughter she must obey her father when he demands she commit incest with him.

In conclusion, "Marital Unfaithfulness" is a thought-provoking book that emphasizes the importance of handling sexual intimacy within the context of holy fear and with sensitivity to the needs of one's partner. It highlights the devastating consequences of forcing sex upon a partner who finds it traumatic and emphasizes the need for husbands to exercise restraint and honor their wives as priceless masterpieces entrusted to their care. The book is a must-read for anyone who wants to build and maintain a healthy, God-honoring marriage.

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