Many of us therapists are not OK right now. (But here's how we continue to hold space for others.)

Last night, I held a drumming & dialogue session for 12 therapists who needed support & nourishment in the aftermath of the election. This came together quickly & unexpectedly. Colleagues since Tuesday have shared how hard it was to hold space for others while struggling with their own emotions. Responding to this need, I was able to secure a lovely space. (Thank you Jarvis Square Pottery in Rogers Park!)

Before I share how the evening unfolded, let me first say: Therapists are pretty adept in managing our own emotions so we can be available to our clients. Through supervision and consultation, as well as a lot of self-care strategies, we manage. But for many of us in this current moment, there are levels of fear, rage, distress, and uncertainty that we ourselves are struggling with as we support our clients through the myriad emotional reactions to the election and its potential aftermath. And it's a lot.

Back to last night. What happened was much needed. And it was magic. Before we got to the drums, folks milled about, and chose a Values Card from the lovely Live Your Values deck Andreea Niculescu & Lisa Congdon created. As participants chose their card and chatted, I played sitar for ambience and tone-setting. Then it was time for gather in the circle.

After introducing ourselves, our reason for coming, and our chosen value, we each grabbed a drum and played. Why? In my work, activities like drumming allow us to connect to our whole selves - not just our thoughts, but also our bodies, our feelings. We released, we shared, we experienced joy. We led with vulnerability, and gave space to each other, both in the music and in the dialogue to share what was needed. (By the way, even though this was not about talent as many were experiencing drum circles for the first time . . . we sounded damn good. It was a vibe!)

Then we circled back to the values that will sustain us. Here's what our circle chose as values that sustain us . . . .

BEAUTY HUMOR HARMONY RESPECT FAMILY

CONTRIBUTION STABILITY HUMILITY INTUITION ACTIVISM RESILIENCE

I had each participant take that chosen value card home with them as a gift, and a reminder of our interconnectedness, and our commitment to ourselves and our work.

So, what do we take away from this? This session did not resolve everything. But I believe it was a reminder for the need of joy, connection, and creativity in the midst of palpable fear and uncertainty. Here are a few take-homes from participants:

"Keeping myself grounded and refreshed is essential in being able to hold space for my clients. This event refreshed and provided hope to me that I can then pass on to them."

"Supporting us as therapists and naming the ways of moving through these times. Basic goodness abounds."

"Helps me to be more grounded so I can move forwarded and do the work I need to do to be there for my clients."

"Being able to keep the card that I chose for the session was a great transitional object. It actually directed some of the work that I needed to do in the days following the session."

And here are a few of my take-homes - not just for therapists, but for educators, frontline healthcare workers, activists and advocates. This is for anyone who needs to show up for others while trying to manage their own well-being.

1. Seek out ways to connect to others. In the registration form, the biggest identified need was connecting with others. For some, this one session may have been enough. For others, you may want to build in connection time regularly.
2. Find spaces to feel all the feels. Grief, anger, sadness, feeling "gutted." This was all a part of our process. Whether it's your own therapist, a trusted friend, a loved one, or group spaces like this, you need space to unpack what you're holding.
3. Experience creativity and joy. Drum. Dance. Make art. Laugh with others. Seek out experiences that ignite creativity and joy.
4. Self-monitor your capacity. When is it time to replenish? When is it time to step back or take a break? Honor your limits.
5. When in doubt, reach out. Sometimes, those of us who give forget to ask for what we need.
6. Protect time to reflect on your values, your purpose, and your why. While the path forward may be unclear, the more we invest in reflecting on our sources of strength, as well as our purpose, the more we can move forward with clarity and conviction.

Wishing all healing, growth, and more in these trying times.