Many High Achievers Aren’t Happy, and You Won’t Be Surprised By Why

In the pursuit of success, many high achievers often find themselves grappling with a surprising and often overlooked consequence: unhappiness. As my dear friend Zach Dubin once said, "The higher we climb, the more mountain we see—and want to master." This unending quest for more, while a driving force behind many accomplishments, can also be a source of persistent dissatisfaction.

The Program - Southern California Vance Caesar Leadership Group:

I participated in a transformative program with the Southern California Vance Caesar Leadership Group. This program was founded on research that revealed a startling trend: high achievers are typically unhappy. However, the program’s mission is to turn this narrative around, striving to help high achievers mold their lives into that of 'happy high achievers.'

One of the core principles of the program is the idea that high achievers continually move their own goalposts. As they climb higher, they see more mountains to conquer. There is immense power in this relentless drive, but there is also a significant cost if they never build a life that feels 'enough,' because for them, enough is always just out of reach.

How I’ve Seen This in My Own Life:

Reflecting on my own journey, I can see this pattern clearly. I’ve often achieved company goals midway through the year without pausing to celebrate. Hitting a goal simply means setting the next one. Goals are crafted with great excitement at the beginning of the year, quarter, or month, but by the time they are achieved, I’m already focused on the next chapter.

From a young age, I knew I wanted to help people grow, understand themselves, and build security and wealth in my own life. Life naturally pushed me into leadership roles. After starting several childhood businesses, I realized I loved running my own company, which allowed me to help others and take swift action towards my goals.

When I founded AdAstra, I didn’t celebrate the massive win of starting my own business because I felt I had more to prove. Registering an LLC is just the beginning. When the business began to thrive and provide substantial value to the industry, I felt a slight sense of accomplishment, but my focus quickly shifted to the companies I had to turn away due to limited team capacity. As we grew and developed a capable team, I celebrated their achievements but immediately sought to optimize and expand further. Unless I consciously forced myself to reflect with deep gratitude, I would default to looking farther up the mountain, constantly asking, "Where do I need to go next?"

The Importance of Training and Reflection:

I imagine the struggle for those who haven't had the huge blessing of the training I've had. I want to share the insights I’ve gained to help others be able to see a path of happy high achievement, where we stop to take a break at a gorgeous high-altitude lake, and eat our most delicious snacks with deep appreciation, before looking to the next mountain. My journey hasn’t been an unbroken series of successes. I've made mistakes and bad calls, and I've spent considerable time learning from those errors to avoid repeating them. It’s crucial to acknowledge that achievements often come with failures that serve as valuable lessons.

What I Consciously Do About It:

To combat this endless cycle, I’ve developed a weekly and monthly habit of taking a moment of gratitude for my accomplishments and blessings. I also regularly engage in a thought experiment, asking myself, "What does success look like, and how will I know I've reached it?" This helps ensure that I’m on more of a running route than a treadmill.

To all the high achievers out there, I encourage you to incorporate practices that allow you to be both high achieving and happy. Take moments of gratitude, define what success looks like for you, and recognize when you’ve achieved it. It’s essential to celebrate your milestones and find contentment in your journey, rather than perpetually chasing the next goal.

Wishing you passion, determination, and celebration,

Seyka

And if you liked reading this, consider reviewing my other articles here:

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• Mastering the Art of Negotiation: Tips and Strategies for Success