Mankind’s “nervous laugh” moment

The nervous laugh is anything but a laugh

A nervous laugh is never quite a laugh. It’s something we do when we run out of options. When we don’t know what to do. When things are awkward. It’s what we do when we have reached the end of the line or when something hits us in a moment that we were not expecting and we don’t know what to do or say. We are so out of options we…….we want to tell ourselves “it’s ok.” Or “It’s not important.” So the best option is to laugh. But halfway through the laugh, we catch ourselves just as to how inappropriate it is to laugh. The truth is ……we even want to cry. And in the moment, we realise that would not be appropriate either. So we are caught in this no man’s land of emotions. We want to cry. We want to laugh. Neither is appropriate. But we end up laughing anyway. 

In the split-second decision between sinking into a dungeon of despair and rising above the awkward moment, we reach for the light. Given the choice between the mundane, we strive for the positive. We reach for the sublime. So we decide to laugh. But the laugh still does not come outright. It’s not perfect. We wish we could have done better. It’s in our nature. It’s us. It’s what makes us human. So we do what humans do. We give it a name. We call it a nervous laugh. It’s not even a laugh, but nervous laugh is good enough.      

That’s what we did in the last few months. That’s what we are doing now. We are faced with an epidemic that we cannot begin to fathom. We have been living in the age of mankind’s biggest leap of progress. We are living longer than any of our own species before us. Not only are we living longer. For the most part, our quality of life is better. Mankind has never been “connected” as we are today.

And then slowly at first, an epidemic strikes. At first, it’s just a story. Then it is a developing story. Then it catches our attention. Now we are all interested. Then before long, it’s all about updates. First in one corner of the globe.  Then the region. Before long, our connectedness becomes our curse. And then the wave gathers momentum. Then we start counting and watching the growing numbers. Of the dead. Of patients. Proposed solutions are drastic. But they are law. Stay at home. And no you can’t travel. From tomorrow. And no your son or daughter cannot visit. No one comes in. No one goes out until this is over. It is easy to feel that this is the end of the world. 

Faced with a disease that is threatening us and our families, and has already started, we are lost for solutions. We don’t know what to do. We are not even sure if our politicians are telling us the truth. We do not feel equipped to deal with this. We are not even sure whether our own governments are. For some of us, at the best of times, we do not trust our governments. For others in other parts of the globe, they even know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that their own governments do not have their interests at heart. And they have enough examples to pick from.

We panic. We reach an awkward moment. We don’t know what to do. We tell ourselves it’s not serious. We will be ok. Then we realise it’s not ok. We want to carry on with business as usual. We want to walk the aisles and shop as we would always do. But we are nervous. When we see others piling their trolleys, it does not help to keep us calm. So we panic. So we feel we want control. In our nervousness, we start to stock-pile our pantries too. We want to feel we are in control. If things go wrong, I want to make sure my family is ok. That I am ok. So we start fighting over tissue-paper. It’s ironic. We want to “laugh”. We want to cry. We want to reach for the tissue paper to wipe our tears. But we tell ourselves that we are braver than that. So we go back to OK mode. But no you cannot take my tissue paper. I may need it when I start crying. In fact, I may need it when the chips are down. I may need it for when the only bit I can control is the moments. And the one moment we feel we can at least control, is that “me moment”. One of the few moments we can really call our own. Because we own that moment. And suddenly, we are so ready to fight over tissue-paper. And yes, some of us will go as far as holding up the tissue truck.   

We are really in that “nervous laugh” moment. When we are not sure what to do. When there is not enough time to think about what to do next. Mankind is going through a “nervous laugh” moment. And it is my hope that when we have had a chance to see that this monster can be beaten, as China has demonstrated, we will gain our composure. We will stand up straight.  Think about it and know what to do.

And tomorrow when we sit there, we will take time to think and evaluate. And remind ourselves to live in the moment. And to be genuinely connected. At a human level. And we may cherish the person in front of us, before we start texting to the one who is not here. And who knows, our next “nervous laugh” moment may not be so nervous. It may be more of a laugh than a cry, even in the face of danger.