Manipulation in relationships

True love is built on free will and free choice, not control and manipulation.

Do you ever feel like your romantic partner is emotionally manipulating you?

A lot of communication these days are done through chat. Couples flirting are no exception. They say pictures are worth a thousand words, a picture with a few words is even better. Sometimes more than a few.

We all have it in us to be manipulated or to become manipulators. Even just batting your eyes at someone in a flirtatious way could be labeled as manipulation. Sadly, some people escalate to become deceitful and nasty manipulators, exhibiting various examples of manipulation in relationships.?

Manipulation by your partner can make you question your own worth and version of events. It can also negatively impact your confidence and insecurity levels in the long term.

Are they using the best parts of your personality like loyalty, affection, and generosity to take advantage of you and control you?

Are they making you feel guilty, gas lighting you, twisting your words, and undermining you at every turn?

If so it’s time to press the big red pause button. ASAP.

A manipulator may use your vulnerabilities against you, hit you with dramatic ultimatums in your most stressful times, try to make you feel guilty about their problems that have nothing to do with you, and much, much more.

Manipulators exploit and control people to serve their needs and goals. Examples of manipulation in relationships include not giving you a straight answer. Sometimes that’s because they don’t know any other way of communication.?

All of us are potential targets because we generally want to believe the best in people. Moreover, the signs of manipulation can be subtle, especially if enveloped in charm. Either way, whether it’s positive or negative forms of manipulation, you’re still being forced into feeling or doing something you don’t want to.?

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you ….You can’t always easily recognize examples of manipulation in relationships because they can be confusing. They might look friendly and charming on the surface but deep down, there’s a dark motivation.?

Emotional manipulators lie as they breathe. They will twist your words like a giant Bavarian pretzel — with extra salt.

This includes constantly downplaying how much they were the cause of a problem and overstating how much you were the cause of a problem. Emotional manipulators put words in your mouth constantly.

When an emotionally manipulative individual can’t think of a way to distort your words or lie they will simply change the subject.

Blaming language?

All examples of manipulation in relationships control how someone thinks and behaves. Regardless of the motivation, language is still one of the most powerful ways to sow the seeds of doubt.?

Blame is personal and most people stop and think when they get accused of not being their ideal best. That’s when you start doubting yourself and wondering if it’s you or your partner.?

One of the trickiest things about an emotional manipulator is that they often seem caring and respectful — at first. They can often be a good listener who encourages you to open up.

They seem to be appreciating you and will often comment in empathetic and sympathetic ways about the problems or experiences you share with them.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

Emotional blackmail is another critical examples of manipulation in relationships. People do this by giving the silent treatment or sarcasm to get what they want. They might even accept to do something you want to later use as a bargaining tool.?

Fear, Obligation and Guilt. Essentially, blackmailers want something from you and they’ll pressure you through those emotions to force you to give in.?

These can be subtle manipulation tactics but they are firmly on the list of indicators of manipulation in relationships.?

A person trying to emotionally blackmail you will instill feelings of anger, fear, or guilt to get you to comply with what they want when they want it.

Your Comments……

Emotional blackmail in relationships can be more or less subtle and appear as withholding of affection, disappointment, or even slight changes in body language and tone of voice.

Emotional manipulators don’t really care what’s true if they can take advantage of you in some way, but they often love to hurl red tape and roadblocks at you as a way to wear you down.

It is not always easy to spot it, especially when the person attempting to manipulate is sophisticated and socially intelligent.

Signs of emotional blackmail might not be evident immediately, so you could be blackmail and not be cognizant of it yet.

Familiarizing ourselves with the signs of emotional blackmail can be a measure of protection. Let’s study some of the most common signs and examples of emotional blackmail in relationships.

Do they blame you and avoid taking accountability for their actions?

When in a relationship with a person who is emotionally blackmailing you, everything that goes on in the relationship or their personal life becomes your responsibility.

Example: If you were paying more attention to me, I wouldn’t have cheated.?

If you helped out more with chores, I would have gotten that promotion at work.

Due to the blame-shifting for every little thing, you feel like you are constantly apologizing and needing to earn back their affection.

Even when you don’t feel like you should, they twist the situation around quite skillfully, so you end up thinking it is your fault and apologize to them.

Why is this significant? When you are sorry for something, you need to earn back their affection, giving them the upper hand.

Example: It’s your fault! I missed my train and was late for work. How will you make it up to me? If you fix this, I will think about trusting/caring/loving you again.

As opposed to constant apologizing on your side, they do not genuinely regret their actions or make any changes. You can tell it is an empty justification they are providing because they are not willing to back it up by actions.

Example: I’m taking this job no matter what you think about moving.?

You know how I feel; there is no need to make me apologize.

Have you ever tried to bring some of their errors to light? Have they turned the tables not only to make it seem like it was your fault but to make you appear illogical?

They always have a way to rationalize their unreasonable requests, and you end up being the crazy one if you dare question them.

Example: I told my friend, and they agree you are being absurd about this.?

My therapist/pastor/family agrees that what you did was unreasonable, and I am not to blame here.

In the beginning, the extortion was more subtle, but over time it became more apparent. You begin doing anything you can so they would be pleased because your peace of mind is connected to their satisfaction.

Therefore you make more sacrifices than you might be willing because only when they are satisfied, you can count on some harmony.

Example: If you don’t skip the party to take care of me when I am blue, what kind of partner are you? If you can’t provide for me when I am unemployed, maybe I need a new partner.

Do you feel they are seemingly unconcerned about your feelings? Have you noticed they care about your wellbeing when it somehow serves them?

When in a relationship with a person who is emotionally blackmailing you, you feel like there is no room for your voice and needs unless they are somehow tied to the satisfaction of their desires.

Example: I care for you, and that is why I don’t want you to be friends with them anymore. I need you to be okay now because I can’t make it without you.

Not only do you not feel heard, you feel you can’t say “no” or push back. Any type of firm boundary is met with disappointment, withdrawal of affection, or more obvious signals of blackmail such as treats.

Boundaries could prohibit them from getting what they need from you; therefore, you feel like standing up for yourself only makes things worse. When you try to push back, they often come after your sense of worth.

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