A Manifesto for Career Changers – How to Survive (and Maybe Enjoy) the Process

Last month, I met two interesting people who faced unplanned career change.

W left her longtime job due to the pandemic. The economy recovered, but she couldn't go back. She's now part-timing below her ability, and feeling increasingly anxious because all her visible career options don't look great. Right now she's stuck, occasionally depressed, and just wants a job, any job.??

G changed countries because of her family. For the first time in her life, she had no network. Looking for jobs was tough as a foreigner and stranger. She put in the work, persevered, and got a great role. When I met her for career advice, she offered to help in any way, because she had just been through the painful jobsearch process and knew how much it took out of you.?

W and G aren't actually very different.?

They're just at different stages of the career change journey.?

W is in the trough – still searching, lost, and trying to stay afloat. G has made it safely to the other side – relieved, grateful, and empathetic to others.?

Why is career change so stressful??

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A career change is a fundamentally uncertain process.?

We don't like uncertainty. We especially don't like it when it affects our identity: who are we without our work??

Even as we're fed, sheltered, healthy and loved, we're freaking out because we feel insecure, because we have no control over the outcome.?

The anxiety and fear about career change seems disproportionate to its cause; but hey, we're human, and this seems to be our common nature.?

Still, does a job search really have to be so scary??

There's a lot of advice out there on the specific mechanics of what to do. But far fewer on how to feel, i.e. how to manage our fears, how to take it less seriously, how not to be our own worst enemy.?

How does one survive this process??

Can career change actually be... enjoyable??

I don't know. But here are 10 guidelines I'm making for myself, to keep myself sane:?

The practicalities: limiting anxiety and encouraging action?

1.?I shall spend a maximum of 3 hours per day

This time limit creates an upper bound.?

Analysis paralysis is real. At career exploration stage, it's far too easy to get caught up in reading how-to blogs on job searching, industry and role research, personal development tests, etc.?

Analysis isn't action, but it's too easy to pretend that it is.?

Poking my head out after hours of research, I usually feel more even more lost. Because I haven't actually done anything. The internet is a rabbit hole; after the first hour or two of unstructured search, it's just diminishing returns.?

And, I do have a life outside of this.?

If your job isn't your identity, then a job search shouldn't consume your life.?

It's a matter of keeping perspective.?

Setting a time limit forces the good habits of focus, prioritisation, and most importantly, action.?

Career exploration can take as long as it needs.... but don't get stuck!?

2.?I shall do a minimum of 1 action or goal per day?

This is the logical corollary to the time limit above – it's the lower bound of action.?

Exploration is nothing without action; that is, strategic or potentially impactful action.?

I've wasted too much time, getting lost in minutiae, doing small actions that don't really matter.?

Like choosing what minor details to include in my resume – instead, just get it done. If it isn't the best, I'll just fix it next time.?

Like angsting over who to connect with on LinkedIn – instead, just reach out. If they say no or ignore me, I'll just find someone else.?

Then there's the endless scrolling of job descriptions and feeling like nothing fits – instead, if it's at least a 60-70% fit and I'm interested, just apply. I read somewhere that men apply when there's a 60% fit, but most women wait till 100%. So just be like a guy!?

Confession: I'm a procrastinator, and will put off doing uncomfortable things. But surely I can commit to just one action, every day??

And if I'm going to grit my teeth and do something against my procrastinating instincts, then why not do something valuable??

Limits force ruthless prioritisation – if you could only do 1 thing today, what's the most impactful?

1 action a day is do-able. More is better, of course, but this is a starting point.?

And perhaps if I build up some action-taking consistency, the impact will snowball over time.?

As they say: shit, or get off the pot! ;)??

3.?I shall maintain good daily routines?

I don't know about you, but my body and the enteric brain rules my life.?

If I ate something wrong and got stuck, I'm grumpy the whole day.?

If I didn't get 8h sleep, I have brain fog and no energy.?

If I'm physically mentally emotionally stressed, I turn into a crazy person.?

I'm envious of those people who can run around with packed schedules and still function normally, but hey, we're all different.?

I need regular daily routines that keep my body-mind in balance, so that I can function well enough for a career change.??

To change the "career" part of your life, you got to keep the other parts stable.?

Career change is potentially a marathon – it could take weeks or years.?

If you're not in a good place physically or mentally, how can you make good career decisions??

So I got to take care of sleep, stress, and nutrition for peak wellbeing.?

On mental health: maintaining emotional stability and authenticity

4.?I shall not take setbacks personally?

I hate rejection. So do you.?

I hate putting myself out there, and people telling my I'm not good enough. Or worse, just ignoring me.?

I hate having my already fragile self-image torn down; I hate having to re-evaluate who I am, and eat humble pie, and wonder in the dark of the night, "Maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I'm hopeless."

You know what? This is all normal.?

Don't compare your insides to others' outsides.??

Everyone has a great LinkedIn profile and some people have great career trajectories that you won't ever match up with.?

But comparison is irrelevant; in fact, how you feel is also irrelevant. Because the other person doesn't actually care.??

Try not to take it personally – it's not about me, it's them. And that's okay.?

Everyone has something to give; our job is to find the right place or people that want us.?

This works for dating, friendships, finding a plumber or insurance agent or fitness coach; basically pretty much every human interaction.?

It's got to be mutual. If it's not, just move on.?

5.?I shall be true to me

Before I get carried away in chasing the latest hot career trends, I must remind myself:?

"Gnothi seuton", also known as "to thine ownself be true".?

Possible the worst career trap is a mid-level manager who's sufficiently competent, respected and busy, but knows they're in the wrong place and can't or won't get out. Because their financial or personal commitments make the risk of change too high, and they've spent years building up their career (sunk costs). So there they stay, without the energy or passion to do better, in day-to-day boredom, until they retire.?

I don't want to do that.?

Even if work isn't your identity, it should add positively to your life. What do you do? Who do you hang out with? What are the experiences that help you grow? When you look back at the end of your career, what will you remember??

There are sexy industries with sexy job titles. More dangerously, there are great salaries or perks, especially attractive when you don't have them.?

It'll always be a balance between what you want and what you need, but authenticity is important.?

Know yourself.?

Know your priorities and dealbreakers.?

Career change is a luxury. So make authentic choices, to grow in authentic directions.?

6.?I shall be grateful for what I do have now

I have food, shelter, family, friends.?

I have health, youth, and time.?

I have skills in demand, and I'm still getting paid to work freelance.

I have opportunities, networks and access. I have choices. I have people behind me. I have fun things to do, great hobbies and supportive social groups.?

If you're born in the first world, you're already doing well.?

If you're feeling discouraged, look around you, and appreciate the abundance you already have.?

Maybe it doesn't change anything, but it sure puts things into perspective.?

And, others can sniff out pessimism and worry and desperation a mile off.?

It's more effective and pragmatic, from both a job search and personal wellbeing standpoint, to be positive, grateful, and sending out good vibes.?

The bigger picture: it's not just about 'me' and 'my problem'

7.?I shall ask for help

I catch myself thinking:?

Why would {insert successful person's name} remember me? Surely they've got more important things to do. Why would they help me? I've got nothing to offer in return. Maybe I shouldn't bother them. And then I run away.??

Actually... people are altruistic.?

Not everyone, and not all the time, but most people genuinely do believe themselves to be good people and want to help.

Your job is to make it easier for them to help you.?

Be specific: for professional contacts, are you asking for an informational interview, career/industry advice, or a recommendation for a job posting? For friends and supporters, do you want a listening ear, another perspective,?or to spread the word??

Then follow up: even if their help wasn't relevant, acknowledge it. Say thank you, and maybe feedback to narrow it down.?

Maybe you won't know what you need at first, but that's ok. What you ask for can be fine-tuned over time.?

But if you never ask, you'll never know. And you'll miss out a chance of authentic connection...?

8.?I shall seek authentic connection

I like to imagine real connection as a two-way flow:?

You ask someone for something, say, career advice. They give it to you. If you're open to receiving it, by say, listening without judgement, there's a backwash of energy – maybe your gratitude, their acknowledgment of being seen, or a promise of returning the favour in future – that balances out.?

You're both a bit open to each other, and the energy has flowed both ways. A connection forms.??

In contrast, it's transactional when it's just one-way:?

You buy a service, say fixing up your resume, from someone. They deliver and you pay them, and it's over. You could ask them about their life, but you don't care. Anyway your goals don't match – they have other resume writing clients, and you're taking up extra time.?

(Hint: this is one of the reasons why I don't want to freelance anymore.)

I haven't quite worked this out yet, but it feels good when you make an authentic connection, and neutral when you make a mere transaction.?

Every interaction can either be a transaction, or a real connection. The latter requires some willingness to be open.?

You don't have to make a connection with everyone. And neither should you; we've all got limited resources after all.?

But this is one of those potentially life-enriching intangibles.?

Beyond the short-term "networking for career change", perhaps... you could make real friends??

Connection can't be forced. It has to be mutual, consensual. But if allow ourselves?to be just a tiny bit more open to the other person, who knows what magic might happen??

9.?I shall help others, without expectation of return

Following on from # 7 and # 8 above, maybe we're all interconnected.?

When I focus too much on me, ... I shall see outside myself, to others in similar situations.?

When I receive help, kindness or good intentions, ... I shall do the same, to pay it forward, to keep the cycle going.?

When I find myself short on time, compassion, energy, I may be irritable, self-focused, critical. I may not be nice or understanding or helpful??

... but I shall try.

Look, I'm not perfect. If you've met me recently, you might have felt the neediness boiling off me like a bad smell. Or I said I'd do something, but then dropped the ball. Or I do do something, knowing full well that I mean to collect on the favour.?

That's human.?

I won't always be in a place to selflessly help, but I shall try.?

That's human, too.?

The future: learning from the experience?

10.?I shall see this as an opportunity for growth?

Whenever I look back in hindsight, change has always been a gift in disguise.??

When you zoom out over a time frame of years, you start to see the patterns.?

The question is, what can I learn from this experience??

Things to definitely learn include useful "career game" information like understanding industries and skillsets, knowing how companies hire, how to sell yourself, etc. It'll come in useful if/when I make this change again, or if I advise others in future.??

But there's also who I become, through this process.?

Growth isn't just about adding things to your body of knowledge. It's also about removing what your better self doesn't need.?

I shall see this time as an opportunity rub off the sharp corners of who I am.?

To be more humble, less arrogant, less entitled. To have more compassion for others, more appreciation for what I have, more awareness in the present. To grow more resilience, courage, self-knowledge, maturity, and strength.??

After all, personal development doesn't wait on work. It's not limited to careers; it happens through every challenge in life.?

Oh, and I shall have some fun!

Wow, this is a long article. It was going to be a simple list of practical tips, but expanded rather quickly into deeper stuff.??

But you know what, I enjoyed writing this.?

Writing is therapy. It helps me articulate thoughts and distill their essence. And it puts them out here for accountability.?

So I shall do more of these fun things.?

And if there's a bonus # 11, it's definitely:?

Lighten up!?

Shift my perspective.?

If I'm going to do this career change / job search anyway, I'm going enjoy it as much as I can.?

Make it actually fun!

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What do you think? Is this useful at all, or just wasting time that I should be spending on actual jobsearching? ;)

I'd love to hear from everyone.?Comments, please!?