Managing Your Teen's Digital Life: What All Parents Need To Know

The year was 1998. I was teaching sixth grade. Computers were still fairly new to the scene in education. A trip to the library/computer lab/staff meeting room was confined to one small area filled with books on one side and a row of desktop computers on the other. The weekly trips I took with my students were filled with excitement. Upon entrance, the backside of a ditto hung on the door from one piece of tape, moving ever so slightly from the fan in the warm hall. Written with a Sharpie were the words, "Shhh...Do Not Disturb, Computer Lab in Use." This small multipurpose room was filled with great excitement, curiosity and the unknown. The computers waited ever so patiently for us to visit them each week.

It was an unwritten rule to walk into this room quietly, even if the librarian was not present. We had an unspeakable respect for these large bulky machines sitting directly in the sun. When the sun came through the windows after lunch, you could see a small layer of dust forming upon each one, with remaining fingerprints on each screen from the former classroom.

I had a full class that year, close to 28-30 students who were paired up on top of each other to share one computer. The "computer lab" was the only room with air conditioning. It was a welcoming break from the sauna we were in all day.

Packed into the room for a good 40 minutes per period, my students were ready to Ask Jeeves their most pressing research questions. With pen and paper in hand (yes, spiral notebooks), they were off to question and discover in a new way of obtaining information with the click of a mouse.

It was an exciting time for both teachers and students. I had the opportunity to fill each day with a little more creativity, as teachers were sharing some of their ideas online as well. Little did we know at the time, we were in the midst of groundbreaking and life-changing technology. My students moved quickly throughout the Internet and were soon teaching teachers how to use this amazing tool. School Internet filters were fairly random. Our school did not use any type of filtering on the web. As curious students do, many began to look for social areas online.

Educators, administrators, parents and students were navigating this new virtual world at the same time; however, we were at different locations among the learning map. Even today, as technology moves rapidly, the adults were oblivious about online social communities arising ever so quickly.

Chat rooms filled with adults were beginning to surface and online safety at the time was not a concern due to lack of awareness and basic knowledge.

For me, technology changed the day I saw a live chat between a 12-year old student and a 40-year old man.

And then it happened.....I caught one of my female students chatting with a grown man. I froze as I stood behind her and watched how quickly she typed the words across the computer screen..."I will meet you at Golf Mill after school."

My student was 12-years old at the time of this conversation. An unrecognizable panic came over me. I looked at her, almost with a loss of words, as this path was yet to be navigated. I confronted her about it immediately. She did not grasp the unforeseen danger waiting for her after school.

The consequences of her choices could have been extreme had I not walked by her computer at that precise moment in time. In that defining instant, I realized we were moving into a new world filled with potential good as well as serious danger.

Fast forward to 2015.

Social Networking Sites and Stats:
According to an Internet safety pamphlet recently published by NCMEC, a survey of 12 to 17 year olds revealed that 38 percent had posted self-created content such as photos, videos, artwork, or stories. Another survey of 10 to 17 year olds revealed 46 percent admit to having given out their personal information to someone they did not know. The likelihood that kids will give out personal information over the Internet increases with age, with 56 percent of 16 to 17 year olds most likely sharing personal information. 

Social networking websites often ask users to post a profile with their age, gender, hobbies, and interests. While these profiles help kids connect and share common interests, individuals who want to victimize kids can use those online profiles to search for potential victims. Kids sometimes compete to see who has the greatest number of contacts and will add new people to their lists even if they do not know them in real life.

Leaving a Digital Footprint
Children often don’t realize that they cannot “take back” the online text and images they post. They may not know that individuals with access to this information can save and forward these postings to an unlimited number of users. Kids also may not realize the potential ramifications of their online activities. They can face consequences for posting harmful, explicit, dangerous, or demeaning information online, including being humiliated in front of their families and peers, suspended from school, charged criminally, and denied employment or entry into schools. 

What can you do to keep your children safe, especially if they are part of social media sites?

Most importantly, be aware and remain involved:

• For updated information on this topic, follow Tween Us written by my friend and colleague, Shannan Younger.
• Monitor the use of the Internet in the house.
  
• Be sure kids understand that social use for technology is a privilege.
• Try and find a middle ground. Overuse is not healthy while restricting the means of social communities and communication can result in going behind your back and/or rebellion.
• Explain in simple terms-why it’s so important not to disclose personal information online.
• Check your kids’ profiles and what they post online. I always tell my daughter that if it is okay for the world, it is okay for me to see too.
  
• Read and follow the safety tips provided on the sites and be sure to share  the privacy and disclosure policies.
  
• Report inappropriate activity to the website or law enforcement immediately.
• Explain to your kids that once images are posted online they lose control of them and can never get them back (this can lead to bullying and exploitation).
  
• Only allow your kids to post photos or any type of personally identifying information on websites with your knowledge and consent. Also, be sure to teach them respect in regard to posting images of their friends. If they take pictures of their friends, they should respect their privacy and ask before posting.
  
• Instruct them to use privacy settings to restrict access to profiles so only the individuals on their contact lists are able to view their profiles.
• Remind kids to only add people they know in real life to their contact lists.
• Encourage kids to choose appropriate screen names or nicknames (they can also use pseudonyms for different platforms).
  
• Talk to your kids about creating strong passwords.
• Visit social networking websites with your kids and exchange ideas about acceptable versus potentially risky websites.
• Ask your kids about the people they are communicating with online.
• Make it a rule with your kids that they can never give out personal information or meet anyone in person without your prior knowledge and consent.
  
• Encourage your kids to consider whether a message is harmful, dangerous, hurtful or rude before posting or sending it online. Teach your kids not to respond to any rude or harassing remarks or messages that make them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused; let them know to show you the messages instead. 
  
• Educate yourself on the websites, software, and apps that your child uses. Pay attention because technology changes so quickly!
  
• Don’t forget cell phones. They often have almost all the functionality of a computer.

 References: fbi.gov and tweenus.com

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About me: I am a certified teacher in the state of Illinois. I currently work in the education, creative and digital marketing field. I run an online education magazine, ED News Daily. We are on the press list for hundreds of news outlets. Please feel free to stop by for recent updates in the field, many coming straight from Washington.

Please reach out anytime and you can also follow me on Twitter at: @RobynDShulman