Managing your Life Portfolio

We only get one life and we all know that the “secret” to living a happy life is in finding balance. The vast majority of us spend our life searching for this balance. As an entrepreneur and investor, that balance has been very hard for me to find and maintain. Plus, the right balance will likely evolve over time. What is the right balance for you? How do you achieve and maintain it? How will this change throughout your life and how can you adapt accordingly?

By managing your life as you would an investment portfolio, viewing your your endeavors as your assets, and time is your currency, you can find and maintain a balance in a more effective way.

In this article I share a framework that has helped me become more disciplined about finding balance in my life (counteracting the shame I am prone to feeling when I am not being “productive” for 70+ hours per week).

Components

Your life portfolio is made up of different categories or “asset classes”. Below I describe the different categories along with the impact they have on our lives.

Career: This is probably front and center for most of us. I define career as all the pursuits you take on with the purpose of providing value to society. This includes your main job as well as any side pursuits. Note that working more hours does not necessarily mean more success.

• When this goes well: You get respect from your peers, family, community, and often significant financial success. Society has a tendency to define people by their careers so it is natural for many of us to devote most of our time to this.
• When this goes poorly: You feel unworthy, isolated, and anxious. You feel like both your survival and sense of worth are at risk.
• How to improve: Studying, taking on more challenging projects, starting your own company, and all other activities that make you better at your craft.?

Wealth: This is highly correlated with career but not the same. Wealth includes all aspects of your financial well being and is thus affected by your spending habits, and revenue generating endeavors (this can be your job or it can also be a house you bought 15 years ago that you currently receive rent payments on).?

• When this goes well: You feel secure and in many cases gain respect from others. You are able to support/help people you care about. You can focus on your long term goals without worrying about making ends meet in the short term.
• When this goes poorly: You feel insecure and in many cases may feel inferior. You may have to rely on others for support or help. It will be difficult for you to focus on other aspects of your life as you spend a lot of time and energy trying to make ends meet.
• How to improve: Being disciplined about your spending habits and diligent on your investments in assets or projects that generate more wealth.

Family and Friends: These are critical, however many of us fail to devote enough time to them or struggle placing boundaries. Much like your career, spending more time with family and friends will not necessarily lead to deeper or more fulfill relationships. You can spend a lot of time with others yet have toxic relationships with them. You need to build deep and healthy relationships that include boundaries and clear communication.

• When this goes well: You feel like you belong. You feel supported. The good times are even better because you have people you love with whom you can share your success. The bad times are easier to weather because you have others who care about you deeply and provide comfort during tough times.
• When this goes poorly: You feel isolated and alone. The good times may feel sad because you do not have people to celebrate them with (or those who celebrate your success do not care deeply about you). The hard times will feel even harder because you will have trouble finding people you love who will support you.
• How to improve: Spending quality time with family and friends. Placing clear boundaries and fixing or severing toxic relationships.

Romantic Relationships: Whether you are single or in a committed relationship, you likely spend a good amount of time thinking about how happy or sad you are with your romantic relationships (or lack thereof). Note that not having romantic partners is not a bad thing. Some people are content not having one and there is value to spending time alone and being comfortable with being by yourself.

• When this goes well: You feel excited, safe, and supported. Similar to family and friends, you feel like you belong which makes you feel more confident in all interactions.?
• When this goes poorly: You feel sad, isolated, and may even doubt your self worth. You may feel abused, scared or trapped. Romantic relationships are very powerful and toxic ones will have a strong negative impact on your life.
• How to improve: Spend time an energy in building a healthy relationship with yourself (it’s hard to love others in a healthy way if we do not love ourselves). Seek out and build a healthy relationship with your partner or decide to take a break from the dating scene. Place clear boundaries and if needed, walk away from toxic relationships that cannot be salvaged. This is difficult but becomes easier when you have strong and healthy relationships with your friends and family.

Health: This is self explanatory and encompasses both mental and physical health.?

• When this goes well: You feel joy and are able to operate at your full capacity. You can handle setbacks effectively thus making you very resilient.
• When this goes poorly: You feel weak and have trouble making sound decisions (both personally and professionally). Your quality of life and work will be diminished. Your life expectancy will decrease.
• How to improve: Exercise, get enough sleep (7+ hors per night), and invest time and resources on improving your physical and mental health. Sometimes we postpone important medical checkups because we have an “urgent” project to finish. If your health suffers, your ability to deliver will suffer as well.

Leisure: These are our hobbies and other things we do for fun. They could be anything from reading a romantic novel to going on a hike or simply watching your favorite TV show. They are activities that help us decompress.

• When this goes well: We feel rested. We feel comfortable investing time in our pleasure can are able to do so without losing sight of our other priorities.
• When this goes poorly: We feel drained and exhausted because everything we do is a chore and lack pleasure in our lives. We could also get lost in indulgence to the point we lose our motivation to do anything that does not lead to instant gratification (ie. you find it hard to do something other than watching social media feeds or shows).
• How to improve: Be disciplined about engaging in activities that bring joy to your life. Be mindful of over indulging to the point you start relying on instant gratification (ie. social media) in order to operate.

Spirituality: This can be religious or secular. It focuses on your search for meaning, purpose, and impact in the world.?

• When this goes well: You feel guided by a higher purpose or meaning. This provides you with intrinsic motivation and a moral compass which ensures you are aligned with your values.
• When this goes poorly: You feel empty and living your life on autopilot. No amount of achievement or financial gain will feel enough as you will feel empty inside.?
• How to improve: Invest time and energy in finding meaning beyond your work or financial success.

Life Portfolio Allocation

Just like a diversified financial portfolio helps you weather economic downturns, a diversified life portfolio helps you weather hard times. Nothing in life is a constant upward trajectory. You will have ups and downs in your career, relationships, and other aspects of your life. If you have a diversified portfolio (ie. you are in good mental and physical health, have deep, healthy relationships with those around you, a good career and financial security), you can handle a career or financial setback. If you are not properly diversified (ie. you tied up your identity to your job or your romantic relationship), you will suffer immensely when things get difficult and your ability to recover from setbacks will decrease.

Your ideal diversification strategy will likely change over time. For example, in your 20s you may invest almost all of your time building a strong career. In your 30s you may start spending more time building wealth as your career will give you discretionary income you can use to invest, you may also start prioritizing your romantic partner and your family. It will take a lot of introspection to figure out what is right for you at different points in your life.

How Coaching Helps

A good coach will help you understand what your ideal allocation is, help you maintain it, and give you the tools you need to manage changes in your allocation over time. A coach does this by:

• Strategy: Help you understand your values, strengths, weaknesses, desires and fears. Having a professional work with you to get a better sense of what you want in life, can help you gain clarity on the life you want to build and the trade-offs you will need to make.?
• Accountability: A coach serves as an accountability partner. Once you commit to making a change, she will keep you honest about your progress. Your coach will also give you tools that facilitate behavioral changes you may need to make in order to achieve your ideal allocation.
• Support network: You will likely face a lot of pushback from others (including those closest to you) when you start rebalancing your portfolio. A great coach will not only help you process and overcome obstacles, she will also help you build a strong support network so you can continue thriving without creating a dependency on her.?

A portfolio approach to life will make it easier to use your time in a more strategic way. It will also help you uncover connections that are not as obvious (ie. You may realize that by investing a few hours on leisure activities as well as building deeper relationships with the people you love, you will become more productive and resilient at your job as you can deal with failure more effectively because your job does not define who you are). It will also make it easier for you to view things like going to the doctor and spending time with your loved ones as investments that enrich your life as opposed to things that get in the way of your job.?