Managing Your Expectations

Do you have trouble getting your expectations to meet up with what you can actually get done? Well, this is a problem for most people, and it stems from how you see yourself. So, stick with me because this week I want to help you change things around.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, leadership and sustainable performance coach, and today I want to continue our conversation about this shift from time to outcomes in your productivity by helping you manage your expectations.

Last week, we started a conversation about how to get more done. We talked about the fact that most people look at managing time, but it’s not something you’re able to do. It’s within your control to manage other things, but not time. Time is something you’re not able to turn or get back. How you navigate the bandwidth you have in your day, week, and month will determine what you get done and how you will feel at the end of it.

So, not being able to manage time, we talked about the 3 things you can manage: your expectations, environment, and energy. And today, I want to do a little bit of a deep dive into the first one—managing your expectations. Your expectations determine how much you take on. How much you take on determines how much you get done. So, it’s a vitally important place to start.

There are 2 types of expectations that we need to talk about here.

The first one is the one that creates the most problems, and that is the expectations you have of yourself.

A lot of times, you expect more of yourself than you’ve got to give. And the reason is it’s linked to those 3 universal fears in the identity work we did: not being enough, not belonging, and not being loved. So, to make up for how you feel about yourself, those limiting beliefs that you have, those doubts that you have in your ability, the performance trap, the approval addiction, the imposter syndrome—all those things we’ve talked about—they are the root cause of unrealistic expectations that you place on yourself. When you feel like you’ve got to do more so that you can get more and people will accept you, that’s where things don’t line up.

The first step here is to look at the expectations you’re placing on yourself. Are you setting yourself up to fail? Are you sabotaging your ability to get through the day, feel good, and have the energy you need to be everyone you need to be in every area of your life? Are you trying to get other people's approval, so you say ‘yes’ when you could say ‘no’? The expectations you place on yourself are the first thing that I want you to look at. And in your day-to-day planning, as you go into your work, I want you to look at what you are expecting from yourself today and see whether or not that’s realistic. You can use the simple model that I’ve talked about before: for what purpose and at what cost?

So, when you look at the expectations you’ve placed on yourself, ask yourself: "Why? For what purpose have I placed that high expectation on myself?"

Now, if it’s to challenge you, if it’s for a positive reason, then that’s okay. We can go to the “at what cost” in a moment. However, suppose it’s feeding one of those identity issues where you’re not feeling worthy and not feeling good enough. In that case, that will normally create a state that will not only stop you from getting where you need to go but will push you on the road to burnout.

So, for what purpose are you doing that?

Then, looking at “at what cost?” If you set this high expectation for yourself, what’s the cost of that? And make sure that you link that to your true priorities—what is that taking you away from? What is that chipping away from you that energetically depletes you?

So, that’s the first area that you need to look at—the expectations that you have of yourself.

The second area is the expectations of others and how you navigate those expectations.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE: https://www.grantherbert.com/blog/managing-your-expectations

Grant Herbert (aka The People Builder) describes himself as an ordinary guy, with an outstanding wife and 5 amazing kids, who has a passion to help people escape the performance trap and regain their authenticity in every area of life. He is a VUCA Leadership Mentor, Sustainable Performance Coach, Master Coach Trainer in Social and Emotional Intelligence,?and the founder of People Builders.

Visit www.grantherbert.com to find out how you can connect.