Managing your Care Factor

A few days ago, a dear friend of mine posted this, which resonated with me so much (along with over 160 others), thank you for sharing, Cass! Like Cass, I have also been given this exact feedback both professionally and personally continuously over the course of my career and life. Initially, this statement struck me as counterintuitive. How could caring deeply about my work and my team's success be a problem? However, as I have pondered this many times over, I have realised it carried layers of meaning and valuable insights into the balance needed, particularly in a professional setting.

Whilst I have learned and practiced strategies provided to me by managers (one manager who shall remain unnamed went so far as to hand me a copy of "Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office" back in the early 2000's), peers, executive coaches, friends, family, and even direct reports along the way, I have not yet nailed it. But do you know what? The older I get, the less it bothers me. And to Cass' point, caring less, to me, is like "holding a beachball underwater."

I could pretend to be the ruthless HR executive, focused only on impressing the Board or shareholders or leadership team with metrics and leveraging data to talk about or influence what's important only to them. I could also be a more cut-throat senior talent acquisition consultant, a zillion dollar biller, at the expense of my clients, candidates, and the network I've worked so hard to build and maintain over the last 20+ years of my career.

Take a look at Brene Brown and Simon Sinek's quotes in Cass' post about genuine care, trust, listening and connection. Caring deeply about your work and the people you work with and work for can undoubtedly be a powerful asset. It drives commitment, attention to detail, and a strong sense of responsibility. These qualities can lead to high performance, a proactive approach to problem-solving, a willingness to go the extra mile, and will undoubtedly bring you success in the long run. However, like any strength, I'm the first to admit this can also become a weakness when not managed appropriately.

The Hidden Challenges of Caring

1. Burnout: Investing too much emotional energy in every task and project can lead to burnout. When you care deeply about every detail and outcome, the stress can accumulate, impacting your mental and physical health.
2. Perfectionism: Over-caring can foster a perfectionist mindset, where no result is ever good enough. This can slow down productivity, as you spend excessive time refining tasks that are already satisfactory.
3. Boundary Issues: Caring too much can blur the lines between professional and personal life. It can lead to overworking and sacrificing personal time, which is essential for maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
4. Micromanagement: When you care deeply about the outcome, it can be challenging to trust others to meet your standards. This can result in micromanagement, stifling team members' growth and creating a less collaborative environment.

Striking the Right Balance

The key to transforming the potential downside of caring too much into a positive force lies in balance. Here are some strategies that have helped me recalibrate:

1. Set Boundaries: Clearly define work hours and stick to them. Allow yourself to disconnect and recharge. This not only prevents burnout but also enhances overall productivity.
2. Prioritise: Not every task requires the same level of attention. Learn to prioritise tasks and focus your energy on those that genuinely impact the team and organization.
3. Delegate and Trust: Empower your team by delegating tasks and trusting their capabilities. This fosters a collaborative environment and allows you to focus on higher-level responsibilities.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that perfection is unattainable. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. Self-compassion can reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
5. Seek Feedback: Regularly seek feedback from colleagues and mentors. Their perspectives can provide valuable insights into how your level of care is perceived and its impact on your work and the team.

Being told that I care too much has created moments for pause, reflection, and growth. It has highlighted the importance of balance in my professional and personal life. In some cases, it has been the catalyst for me to tap out, to find a more suitable culture, leader, industry, and career path. By setting boundaries, prioritising tasks, trusting my team, practicing self-compassion, and seeking feedback, I have learned to channel my passion and dedication in ways that enhance both my wellbeing and my contribution to the organisation. Caring deeply is a strength, but it must be tempered with wisdom and balance to truly be effective.

So, shine bright, fellow carers. Don't let anyone curb your natural instinct. As many respondents to Cass' post have shared, I'd rather be known and remembered for being authentic and caring too much rather than disingenuous and caring too little.