Managing Up to Level Up

In honor of spooky season here in the U.S., let's talk about one of the scariest must-build skills to level up in your career - managing up.

Who is simultaneously interested and anxious about what comes next? Good! This article is for you.

Most colleagues I work with and/or mentor, go eyes-wide, mouth-dry, and shaky at the thought of speaking up, pushing back, or raising concerns with a superior. I hear everything from "But what if [insert socially-taught fear here]" or "That won't work, because [insert negative core belief about self-advocacy here]."

However, managing up truly only involves developing a positive and productive working relationship with those in leadership, enabling you to influence decisions, gain support, and advance your work and career. Who wouldn't want that?

The only way to get past the ghosts of your fears and core beliefs, is to simply face them, and get better at facing them over time. So let's breakdown some specific scenarios and make them less intimidating. Below are 8 scenarios in which I've needed to manage up, the required EQ to navigate them, and my advice on how to action success.

#1 Career Development: Advancing in your career through promotions, taking on new responsibilities, increased salary, and/or new skills development.

Required EQ: There is a huge fear that if we aren't getting what we want, it's because we aren't working hard enough. This, combined with many people's core belief that self-advocacy will come across as entitlement, makes it very hard for many young professionals to ask for more. To shatter these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) not everyone wants more, and it is your job to let your leadership know that you do; and (2) only self-advocacy without value is entitlement. The hardest part about this piece is being able to shift perspective from "what is right" to "what is valued."

My Advice: Every person who gets promoted and how they get promoted is a signal of what your organization values. Make sure that your values align, and that you both demonstrate and document that value. You have to approach this conversation deeply understanding the incentives that drive your leadership and your organization. Just like you, your boss will be evaluated on their performance during the year. Think about ways you can align your ambitions with theirs, make them look good to their leadership, and help them advance their goals. Focus on the outcomes that matter to them to enlist their advocacy and sponsorship.

#2 Work-Life Balance: Balancing your professional responsibilities with personal life is becoming increasingly challenging, leading to burnout and decreased job satisfaction.

Required EQ: It is socially implied that if we don't prioritize work over everything else, we will be de-prioritized in the workplace. Many young professionals also battle the core belief that burnout is a sign of failure on the employee's part. To move past these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) the relationship between an employee and employer is a two-way street and you have the right to be your whole self or to move on somewhere else, just like you would a romantic relationship; and (2) burnout is not a sign of failure, it's a sign of misalignment.

My Advice: Be honest with your leadership about any challenges you're facing and the impact on your well-being and productivity. Explore potential solutions, such as flexible work arrangements or workload adjustments, that your organization has the ability to offer. If your needs cannot be met, it may be time to move on to a new role, new team, or new organization. This can be scary, any break up is, but only you will know if it's right for you. If you do have to leave, make sure the next opportunity can offer you what you need beforehand, so you don't repeat the cycle.

#3 Project Management: Facing challenges on a high-stakes project, where you need to make trade-offs in terms of resources, timelines, budgets, or push back on scope-creep.

Required EQ: Know that with uncertainty, comes discomfort and lots of cortisol (aka stress). Our brains are evolutionarily hardwired to prefer definitive answers. It is socially reinforced that if we raise concerns, we will be seen as the problem. Many young professionals also battle the core belief that we should not bother our leadership with things that aren't good news. To overcome these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) nothing will hurt a relationship with your leadership more than sweeping inevitable problems under the rug; and (2) there are always ways to be proactive about the challenges you are facing.

My Advice: Don't let fear get in the way of raising risks early and often. Initial interactions with project risks cause the same fight or flight response we see when our life actually is in danger. Recognize that this is happening to you, understand that this will be the same for your boss or client, be empathetic, and address any risks, directly, alongside alternative options and/or mitigation strategies. Allow your leadership help you course correct, before the risks become unmanageable. If you raise them early enough, you may even be able to turn them around in time. My commitment to transparency and problem-solving has earned me the trust and support of even the toughest peers, leaders, and clients, alike.

#4 Conflict Resolution: Disagreeing with a colleague that is affecting your performance or the project's success.

Required EQ: Like definitive answers, our brains also are hardwired for community, and it is socially reinforced (especially for women) that if we disagree, then we are difficult - and boy does that one hit close to home. Any breakdown in our networks (personal or professional) feels like a very real threat to the security of our roles within those networks. I also find there is a common core belief that conflict only affects the people involved. To face these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) this will be true for you AND the other person(s) involved; and (2) if we don't name it and face it, it will affect way more than just those in conflict with each other.

My Advice: Before involving your boss, be brave enough to face the conflict by speaking up. Approach the conversation with a real intent to understand their side, not just say your piece. Regardless of whether or not the other person can meet you in the middle, it's always better to know where you both stand sooner rather than later. Listen actively to their experiences and seek a go-forward plan. If the issue persists, consult your leadership for guidance. When you do, present the problem objectively (not just your version of it), emphasize your commitment to finding a constructive solution and path forward.

#5 Feedback and Recognition: Feeling that your contributions are under-valued, and/or you're not receiving the recognition you deserve.

Required EQ: It is socially reinforced that if we ask for recognition, then we will be seen as egotistical. However, if we're honest, everyone's ego needs a little love now and then. We just need to do it in ways that are specific to each professionals preferences. I see many professionals of all levels verbalize the core belief that if we aren't thanked, then we aren't valued. To navigate these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) recognition looks different to different people and no one can read your mind; and (2) everyone deserves to feel valued.

My Advice: Approach your leadership and express your desire for feedback and recognition. Let them know how you're feeling and see how they respond. If they don't already know, make sure you come prepared to share specific examples of your work's impact. Then explore potential recognition sources, positive feedback in formal channels, a bonus or raise, or even more time off, that your organization has the ability to offer. Discuss what means the most to you. Similar to Love Languages, everyone has a Recognition Language (a professional love language, if you will). This open dialogue can lead to more regular feedback and recognition, in ways that are meaningful to you.

#6 Decision-making Influence: Being left out of decisions that directly affect your work or team.

Required EQ: Many people have been socially shut down (over and over) when seeking to influence decisions that directly affect them. From childhood through early career, those that try to raise their voice get turned away. So it is not a surprise that many have also internalized the core belief that if we are not invited to the table, we don't belong at the table. To rise above these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) if I am impacted by a decision, I have a right to have input into it; and (2) only I understand my point of view.

My Advice: Request a meeting to discuss the decision-making process. Express your interest in contributing to decisions that impact your responsibilities. When given the chance, demonstrate your input's value to the process by helping to create better outcomes. Continue to position yourself as a proactive and informed team member that can responsibly participate in these important decisions. Balance your needs with those of the organization and, as you prove yourself, you'll find that your point of view is invited to the proverbial table more and more.

#7 Mistakes and Accountability: Preserving your reputation after making a mistake that could have negative consequences.

Required EQ: No one likes making mistakes. Many fear that one mistake will ruin your reputation and define your career forever. Somewhere along the lines, many develop the core belief that if we make a bad mistake then you too are also somehow bad. To get over these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) how you handle your mistake matters far more than what mistake you made; and (2) there is no way to hide mistakes, the truth always comes out. So either you can own the narrative or someone else can.

My Advice: Before you do anything else, immediately inform your leadership about the mistake and take responsibility for your actions - full stop. Provide options for rectifying the situation, and, if possible, suggest preventive measures to avoid similar issues in the future. Listen to what they need from you in return, even if it's nothing. Move forward with whatever you both agree on, as next steps, to rectify the situation. Demonstrating accountability, a commitment to learning from, and participating in correcting your mistakes will earn your leadership's trust and respect. You'll also often find that coming out the other side of a mistake in this way does more help to your reputation than having never made the mistake in the first place.

#8 Resource Allocation: Being understaffed or under-resourced, making it challenging to meet targets and deliver quality results.

Required EQ: Anything that compromises deliverables, or costs time and/or money will terrify your boss and your organization. Some fear that if we seek help, we have failed. Sometimes this is due to the core belief that if we can't deliver with what we were given, then there is something wrong with us. To achieve success despite these limiting fears and beliefs, we need to realize that (1) there are always trade-offs; and (2) if you can align on prioritization of the work, you can build ownership over finding a solution to its success.

My Advice: Request a meeting with your boss to discuss resource allocation and capacity concerns. Lay out everything you and your team are working on and present the information that supports your case, such as timelines, workload, and scope creep. Figure out the cost, time requirements, and responsibilities of any additions to the team - the generic, "we're overworked" isn't enough. When everyone can see and feel what is truly at risk, they are incentivized to help. Make it easy for your boss to make an informed decision on what to compromise on.

There are so many more examples of scenarios in which managing up is a great strategy for success. Most people's fears stem from what was reinforced during youth and an unfamiliarity with self-advocacy. Whether you're dealing with project challenges, conflicts, career aspirations, resource allocation, feedback, decision-making, mistakes, or work-life balance, the key is open communication, proactive problem-solving, and a genuine commitment to collaboration. Embrace these strategies, and you'll find yourself better equipped to manage up and thrive in both your personal and professional journey.