Managing an unwelcome guest in our heads

All coaching engagements involve some kind of transition but transitional intelligence means knowing where you are in a transition and what do next. A recurring theme across many clients managing very different transitions ( from new role, career change, loss of self confidence to leadership development for new role ) in the last few weeks has been who is talking to us inside our heads. We all have a number of inner voices and some are welcome and some are not. All of the above transitions require a journey to clarity where conflict is not about the difficult choices that may have to be made, the conflict is between the different voices in our heads.

The critical inner voice is not our best friend. Indeed it is the defended negative side of our personality that is opposed to our ongoing development . Our critical inner voices are built on a platform of fear that oppose our best interests and diminish our self esteem.

I certainly have one and I call it dischord given my musical interests. Dischord undermines my ability to interpret events realistically and triggers negative moods and destructive internalized thoughts. However, I have learned to challenge it, listen to it when it is around and take action against it. Indeed , if I write down what will happen according to dischord,my clients said I will not make that career transition because everyone will reject me, I will not regain my self confidence because nobody values me, I am going to fail in my new role because I doubt my own capability, or I am never going to be happy with a real sense of purpose because there will be too many risks and it will not happen. Who is telling us this, in every case the inner voice of each of my clients. In every case it was completely negative and destructive. It results in a fixed mindset which will leave you stuck in a transition . Thank goodness a coach can help a client by asking open questions of reason focussing on the positive aspects of the mind and Intuition or imagination focussing on the helpful inner voices which lie in our spirit. What is the name of your unhelpful voice in residence in your head ?

Dischord;a state or condition marked by a lack of harmony or agreement producing quarreling, factiousness or antagonism.