Managing through a toxic work environment: A Survivor's Guide

"A toxic work environment is one where negative, antagonistic, or bullying behavior is baked into the very culture. In a toxic work environment, employees are stressed, communication is limited, blame culture is rife, and people are rewarded (tacitly or explicitly) for unethical, harmful, or nasty attitudes and actions." (Source: personio.com)

Successful teams don't thrive in toxic work environments—they crumble away slowly or implode with a big bang. Like a bad nightmare, we want to escape such situations and disastrous “leaders” as fast as possible. I've faced two such painful and unforgettable periods in my nearly three decade career. Thankfully, that's a low number, but frankly, people don't talk enough about such situations and how to address them. So, what do you do when you face a toxic leader or environment, and how do you escape?

Having survived to share the lesson, I’ve got three tips to help frame your mindset on this very difficult but important journey.

1. Accept the Reality of Toxicity

The first and most important fact to acknowledge is that companies and employers are simply not set up to address the challenges of toxic work environments. Please don't expect your employer to serve full justice to you or your peers unless your situation is illegal, well-documented, and witnessed by others willing to speak up. Even with such good luck, you'll face challenges, and justice won’t come in the outcome you desire. Why? Many managers and executives aren't cut out to lead the organizations they’re entrusted with. Average and below-average leaders far outnumber the above-average ones. As humans, we also idolize many with fame, wealth, and power who don’t care about others.

All the best leaders I've worked with both: (a) truly cared about their team members, and (b) were consistently willing to put in the effort to be good leaders. The average or below-average leaders lack in one of these two areas, breeding dysfunction and toxicity. Multiply that dysfunction across organizations with hundreds, thousands, or tens of thousands of individuals, and you see the scale of the problem. How do organizations tackle such an imperfect world?? First of all, they need someone to speak up, and second, they can only chip away at the massive problem.?

2. Seek Support for Your Well-being

When you're living in a toxic work environment, seek out and leverage all available assistance for coping with mental and physical health challenges. Toxic leaders and peers can make the strongest performers doubt themselves, intentionally contributing to anxiety, stress, sleeplessness, and physical dysfunction. Talk with trusted friends and family, and seek counseling from medical practitioners. You'll be surprised at how much empathy and support you’ll receive, and many will share their own stories of trials, and how to cope day-to-day. You’re not alone in facing this problem. Under no circumstances should you bottle-up or internalize your suffering.

3. Strategize Based on Your Career Stage

My final advice varies depending on how advanced you are in your career:

• Early Career: Seek new job opportunities and get out as fast as you can. All around the world each day, employees leave poor managers, and you can too. If you're good at what you do, finding a new job will be relatively easy and well worth the effort, compared to the downsides of staying. Devote a disproportionate amount of time to the job search. If you have to choose between doing more overtime for your toxic team or securing a new job, do the latter. Trying to please your toxic boss will not change them. The longer you stay, the worse the damage to your health and self-confidence, making it even harder to leave.
• Advanced Career: Spend a little money and seek advice from an employment lawyer. They can help independently assess your situation and understand local employment laws. The lawyer will determine whether you can leverage the company's grievance reporting mechanisms or the law to stand up for yourself. If leaving is your best option, follow my advice for those earlier in their careers. In many countries and companies, though, fighting the situation may be a good course of action for those more advanced in their career. If so, brace yourself for a rough ride and investigation. Remember, it is unlikely you'll see your desired best-case outcome unless there's proven illegal behavior. Regardless, you still need to get your ducks in a row and document everything with dates and details before pleading your concerns. The complaint and investigative process may be lengthy and sloppy. Having colleagues who are victims themselves or willing to speak up as witnesses is very important and will aid your case for corroboration.

If all goes well, a likely end scenario will be that you're offered an alternate job at your employer or an employment separation with a negotiated severance package to acknowledge the pain and suffering.

What happens if you had a toxic manager? The reality is it often takes multiple cases and years of complaints for companies to end the employment of a toxic leader. Unless you’re the tenth substantiated complaint against someone, don’t hold your breath.

I hope none of you are facing toxic work situations right now, but if you are, hopefully, I've given some perspective that all is not lost. You can and will get through it.

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