Managing Stress: Reframing, Regulating, and Building Resilience

Stress is an inevitable part of life—especially in today’s fast-paced, high-pressure world. Whether it’s looming deadlines, personal challenges, or unexpected setbacks, how we handle stress shapes our well-being, decision-making, and overall effectiveness.

And if I’m being honest, I know this struggle well. There have been times when stress has gripped me so tightly that I felt paralysed. My thoughts would spiral into worst-case scenarios, and in those moments, it felt like there was no way out. But over time, I’ve learned something powerful—not how to eliminate stress (because that’s impossible), but how to change my relationship with it.

Research backs this up. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal’s work suggests that our mindset about stress matters just as much as the stress itself. If we see stress as a sign that we’re overwhelmed and failing, it weighs us down. But if we see it as a natural response that helps us rise to challenges, it becomes something we can work with rather than against.

Here’s how I’ve learned to manage stress—and how you can too.

1. Name It to Tame It

Ever notice how stress feels like an unmanageable storm in your head? One of the most effective ways to take back control is to name what you’re feeling. Neuroscience shows that labelling emotions reduces their intensity.

I remember a time (not so long ago) when I had so much going on—personal challenges, work pressures, events—that my chest felt tight. Instead of pushing through, I stopped and asked myself: What exactly am I feeling? It turned out to be anxiety mixed with frustration. Just naming it gave me space to breathe and problem-solve rather than panic.

Try this: When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment and say, This is stress. This is frustration. This is uncertainty. It won’t make stress disappear, but it will help you gain control over it.

2. Breathe Like You Mean It

We all know deep breathing is good for us, but how often do we actually do it? Science shows that intentional breathing calms the nervous system and prevents the fight-or-flight response from taking over.

One of my favourite techniques is the 4-7-8 breath: ? Inhale for 4 seconds ? Hold for 7 seconds ? Exhale slowly for 8 seconds

I once tried this right before walking into a stressful meeting when my heart was racing. Within a few breaths, my body got the message: You’re safe. You’ve got this.

The next time stress tightens its grip, pause and try this. It’s like pressing a reset button for your mind.

3. Reframe the Stress Story

Stress isn’t just about what’s happening—it’s about how we interpret it. In The Science of Well-Being, Laurie Santos highlights how people who see stress as helpful (rather than harmful) experience fewer negative effects.

Think about it: When an athlete feels their heart racing before a big game, they don’t think, Oh no, I’m doomed! They think, I’m ready. We can apply the same mindset shift.

The last time I faced a tight deadline, I caught myself thinking, This is too much. I can’t do it. Then, I reframed it: This is my body preparing me to focus. This means I care about doing well. That small shift made all the difference.

Try this: The next time stress shows up, ask yourself, What’s one way I can see this differently?

4. Find Your Anchor

When stress feels overwhelming, we need something to ground us. Psychologists call this attentional control—shifting focus away from stress and towards something steady and reliable.

For me, it’s sipping tea mindfully and repeating a simple mantra: I’ve got this or Hakuna matata. For you, it might be stepping outside for a few minutes of fresh air, holding a meaningful object, or calling a trusted friend.

What’s your anchor? Find it, and use it.

5. Create Micro-Moments of Joy

Laurie Santos often talks about how savouring small positive experiences can counterbalance stress. The mistake many of us make is waiting for big wins to feel relief, but tiny moments can be just as powerful.

I once had a day where everything went wrong. But then, I noticed the golden light of the sunset outside my window, and for a few seconds, I let myself truly take it in. It didn’t erase my stress, but it softened its grip.

So, find your micro-moments: A song that makes you smile. A deep stretch after sitting too long. The first sip of coffee in the morning. These moments are like pebbles that, over time, build resilience.

Reflection for You

Stress is universal, but it doesn’t have to control you. As you reflect, consider: ? What are the patterns or triggers that often lead to stress for you? ? How can you create space to acknowledge your feelings without judgment? ? Which of these strategies resonates most, and how might you incorporate it into your routine?

Managing stress isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. The more we practise regulating our emotions, the more we build resilience. And remember, stress doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re engaged in something that matters.