Managing the Stress of Feeling Overwhelmed

There's something about September that always feels a little overwhelming to me. Sure, I'm excited that it's the start of a new year. I'm glad to be back into routines that give my kooky life a little order. And I love that I can break out my fuzzy sweaters.

But September is the start of the busy season. Our calendars get more and more full over the next three months. And it's a long haul until we can expect any meaningful rest. That made September the perfect time to talk about strategies to prevent, recognize, or address the stress that comes from being overwhelmed.

1: 57 Channels and Nothing's On

I gave a speech to a group of high-tech start-up CEOs and suggested that they worry about managing people's?attention?before worrying about managing their?performance. This keynote speech, Change Has Changed, has been very popular lately!

An audience member emailed after to ask about my advice in wrangling their worst attention grabber--Slack! Whether you have Slack, MS Teams, or some other collaboration tool, you need to be actively protecting against overwhelming people. In?Prevent Slack and Teams From Overwhelming Your Team, I provide practical tips to ensure that these tools enhance rather than erode productivity.?

2: Dysfunctional in Our Own Way

After writing an article in July about generic strategies for combating overwhelm, in?A Personalized Approach to Feeling Less Overwhelmed, I put my psychologist hat on and created a more individualized approach where you can identify your unique stress response (I map out four different versions of overwhelm), select a targeted antidote, and draw on secondary strategies that are based on your individual interests. (See below for this month's free resource--a poster version of the article that you can pin up in your workspace and/or share with your team.)?

3: The Long Haul

Sitting in mid-September and clicking through my calendar past a sea of meetings, travel, and deliverables, I realized that summer is over, and it's gonna be a trek before I get to really rest again. In?Are You Taking Steps to Prevent Burnout, I share some unconventional advice about how to keep your energy up even when there's no vacation in sight.??

4: FOCUS, People, FOCUS!!!!

For the final post of the month, I wanted to talk about one costly impact of overwhelm, specifically, to address what distraction is doing to our teams. In?Tired of People Being Distracted and Disrespectful,?I get pretty blunt about how people might be interpreting your distraction and really practical about things you can do to deal with your own and others' distraction before it erodes trust and derails performance.?

Resource of the Month

Poster For Managing Overwhelm

Do you want to remind yourself or your colleagues about some options for how to survive the stress and override the overwhelm? I turned my article about personalized strategies into a couple of posters you can stick up wherever you'd like.

I encourage you to make it normal and acceptable to talk about workload,?thoughtload, and overwhelm and to share when you use these approaches. Go right ahead and call it out when you need to "Talk it Out," or "Shake it Off." You might find others who would benefit from a quick huddle around a whiteboard or a brisk walk around the block.?

Feel free to share the?article?and the poster and use it as an icebreaker at your next meeting. Not only will it help you get to know one another better, but it will give you a shared language to identify and address overwhelm. Cheers to that!?

(Click on the image to download the tool.)

On the Tube

My YouTube experiment continues. I'm getting more comfortable with it. (And some of the videos are finding an audience. How to Have Conflict with Your Boss is approaching 25,000 views!)

I'm trying to mix it up. Some are long, some shorter (my long-winded self is working on getting from "shorter" to "short").

Some have general insights; others are chock-a-block with practical tips.

The?always-wanting-to-serve-and-provide-value?version of me hopes you get something useful from them.

And the?desperate-slave-to-the-algorithm?version of me hopes you'll do one or more of the following:

1. watch?one video to the end (I'm making them shorter)
2. like?or comment on a video you love or hate
3. subscribe?to the channel
4. share?a video on social or with?someone who might find it valuable

Thanks in advance!

You probably think you're a pretty decent listener, at least when you want to be. Fair?

But are you a Level III listener? Likely not. This is a skill--or even a practice--that takes a lifetime to master.

Were you ever told, "don't come to me with a problem; come with a solution?"

Decent advice if you're talking to your manager, but?terrible if you try it with a colleague.?Here's why (and what to do instead).

From My LinkedIn Couch

Your Distraction is my Disrespect

Wowzer, my?post about the scourge of distraction?whipped up a great conversation!

I was talking about how distraction can really erode trust and confidence.

Many of you grabbed a seat on the couch to commiserate and share your own interpretations and cautions. I'm glad to know that others are equally alarmed about the costs of distraction.

But as I hoped, there were some great comments about my negative assumptions and generally unempathetic perspective (I know, I can be crusty sometimes). Laura Ralph and Sarah Henson both gave compelling reasons why I should have more empathy and grace to trust my colleagues that they are managing the best they can.?

Another wonderful theme in the comments was the caution from many readers that much of what I described as distracted behavior is symptomatic of various neuro-diversities, including ADHD or ASD.?

I was really impressed by how respectfully and articulately everyone (well, almost everyone) raised their points, so cheers to civility and grown-up conversations we can all learn from.

Stephanie Shewmon said, "Simply adding a voice/credence to the need to understand that a lot of these points are typical of neurodivergent brains. Not always, but sometimes. And you are right - we have a long way to go with understanding and harnessing the benefits of these thinkers. For one - setting up meetings with space to let them shine in their own way."

Jean-Sébastien El-Haddad added,?"Just because I look behind you, doesn’t mean I don’t listen to you. In the contrary, often we need to do other things to actually hear and understand what you’re saying because our brain is hyperactive."?

To all of these fantastic people who made the conversation so rich, thank you.?

I do think it's worth taking a moment to respond. I would argue that teamwork is about relationships and good relationships require communication. If you have to turn your camera off, just tell us in the chat that you're there and just need a camera-off moment. No problem. If you find it easier to focus in a quiet room, or need a written summary of commitments rather than an audible one, great. Just let us know!?

Even if your intent is positive, the impact of your distracted behavior is costly. Own it. And make the small changes so that your distraction has less of a negative effect on your team.?

Thank You, Thank You!

There are so many wonderful people to thank for spreading the word about how to make teamwork work.?

Thanks to Rachel Feintzeig for featuring me in your piece in the Wall Street Journal on?the right way to vent at work.?

Thank you to the fabulous public sector executives at?APEX?for having me in to share my worries about the psychological challenges of hybrid teams. Wow, did you ever ask amazing questions!!!??(I have both a keynote and training on hybrid teams available if your organization might benefit.)

Thanks to Harvard Business Review for highlighting my article Stop Trying to Sound Smart When You're Writing among their?5 favorite articles on writing. Wow. So cool for the kid who was petrified of English class in high school.??

Thanks to Clint Murphy for having me as a guest on your?podcast. This long, in-depth, delicious conversation flew by! And thanks to Tammy Heermann for the introduction to Clint!

Thanks to Amy, Adine, and Sara Jane?for sending notes, and thanks to everyone in this community for all you're doing to make teamwork work. I absolutely love hearing from you, whether that's to share how the ideas are resonating, make a suggestion for a topic you'd love me to cover or to challenge me on something you don't agree with. Keep it coming!?

I have five days to decide what October's theme is, so let me know if there's a topic you'd like me to cover!?

Psst...pass it on!

If you've got friends that could use a little help navigating the people issues on their teams,?I encourage you to share this month's newsletter with them.

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