Managing overwhelm

When Covid hit I went on a media diet. Every time I heard or read the news, I’d feel my cortisol spike and it wasn’t helpful.

I am in the same situation now, every time I go on social media, turn on the radio or read the news, something upsets me, makes me angry, makes me despair. It is frankly overwhelming, and my inclination is to turn it all off and hide.

But this is professionally tricky, as a comms person, I have to keep an eye on what is going on. I also find it morally tricky.?Isn’t it this head-in-sand mode that allows awful things to happen in the world?

So, when I am overwhelmed like this, I defer to my friend the wheel of control. It gives me clarity on what I can control (my reactions, what I do), what I can influence (what I can take part in, contribute to, speak up for) and what I have no control over. These things I decide to let go off. I know the campaigner in me and you will have trouble with this last part – the acknowledgement we can’t do anything about some things. However, accepting the idea that there?are?things that we simply cannot control can be profoundly liberating. It can help us let go of anxiety and stress which will give us more energy to?focus on the things that we can actually change.

Here’s my other friend, the emotions wheel, I find this useful when it’s hard to know what I am actually feeling… to put a name to something beyond the usual words of ‘fine/happy/sad/frustrated’.?

You may be wondering why it’s useful to name your emotions? One reason is that emotions are contagious. If I feel fearful this can spill over into other parts of life and I may approach other matters with disproportionate fear. However, if I can recognise that my feeling of fear is actually anxiety related to something specific, I can acknowledge this as a valid reaction, without letting fear take the wheel of my emotional life.??

Our emotions are data, clues about our needs that need to be met and if I can name an emotion I’ve got a better chance of meeting that need. So with fear I need to meet it head on with connection to other people, connection to nature and humour (dogs are great for that, simpletons that they are). If I am feeling overwhelmed, I can ask myself what I need. Usually, like my computer, I need to turn myself off for a bit and reboot.

Trump, Elon may be dominating our airwaves, but I decided this week I am not having them dominate my emotional landscape too. I have feelings of anger and despair when it relates to them, but I can’t let anger and despair overwhelm me or become my default mood on everything else.

When I trained as a coach, it hardly touched on emotions, so I topped up with another course. They are now the bedrock of the coaching experience I offer. Unhelpful emotions or an unhelpful relationship with our emotions can stand in the way of good healthy things, they can keep us stuck or prime us to behave and think in unhelpful ways. Seeing emotions as data has been liberating for me.

PS: Please don’t take from this that I have reached some sort of bliss-like nirvana state, I am still grumpy, angry, scared, happy, grateful, overwhelmed, delighted all in the space of several hours.?

PPS: One practical tip for keeping on top of the news is to only experience a story once. At a push you can also turn to your favourite trusted source for more analysis, but re-consuming the exact same story on different platforms is just masochism. Don’t do it.