Managing Horrible Bosses

I seriously want to produce a show called Horrible Bosses where I am the Gordon Ramsey where I am going into organisations and fixing terrible managers and leaders – with kindness of course. Now do you think this show has legs. With many of us going back into the office and a number of us being able to tolerate horrible bosses from home – what will it look like now we have to face them at work?

If you've got a lousy boss right now you definitely have my sympathy. It can really impact the enjoyment from what might otherwise be a rewarding role, leave you feeling undervalued, and wondering whether you should begin searching for something new. However before you start planning how you are going to leave; it would be wise to rethink how you can better manage the boss you already have –for all their flaws and shortcomings. I remember seeing Guy Russo, former CEO of Kmart speak one day, and he said one lesson he learnt was that terrible bosses will eventually leave so don’t pack up too soon!

I have worked with numerous great and not so great bosses in my corporate career, I’ve learned they provide invaluable opportunities for developing executive leadership skills and learning 'what not to do' when managing people who work for you. You can learn just as much for a horrible boss than a great one. You just have to be proactive in looking for them and ready to practice some real self-leadership.

This will be no surprise to you, new research has found that being overworked is not the reason people leave their jobs. A Danish study of 4,500 public service workers has provided credence to the adage that “people don’t leave jobs, they leave their managers.” According to psychologist Matias Br?dsgaard Grynderup, one of the researchers behind the study, "We may have a tendency to associate depression and stress with work pressure and workload; however, our study shows that the workload actually has no effect on workplace depression."

However fixed in their ways your boss may be, you can always learn ways to better manage him or her. The secret is "managing up" without them ever realising you are doing it. So rather than think of your boss as your boss, think of them as a difficult client - one you have to figure out how to work with if you want to get ahead, even if you’d rather not.

Hopefully the strategies below will help you on your way. Underpinning each of them is a commitment to take responsibility for your own success, regardless of the different (and difficult) personalities you will inevitably have to encounter throughout your working life.

1. Know their 'Why' and what motivates them.

The better you understand what your manager does, and more importantly, why, the better positioned you are to deliver results, and manage expectations. In turn, the more aware you are of yourself, then the more aware you will be of others.

When you know what drives your boss (even if your boss may not be fully conscious of it), you can speak to “their listening,” frame your opinions and use language in ways that line up with their core values, challenges and priorities.

2. Support their success and their weaknesses

One way is to help your boss focus on their natural strengths. Another is to proactively work around their weaknesses. If you know you have a boss who lacks attention to detail, then help them to be double check things rather than whining about this lack. Making yourself indispensable and someone your boss can rely on to help them do their job is a valuable asset when you start to look for 'what's next?'

By doing what you can to help your boss succeed, you lay a great foundation for greater success yourself. It may not be an immediate reward, but in the long run by being kind and offering your help will serve you in the long run.

3. Be brave - your “Personal Brand” is riding on it.

Never let your boss’s poor leadership be an excuse for your own. All too often, people start feeling entitled to slack off, take longer and longer lunches, lose interest or stop performing well because of their bad boss.

Don’t do it. Keep your mind focused on being the best version of yourself. Complain to your spouse or your friends all you want, but when in the office or workplace, stay kind, brave and engaged. To be honest handling a difficult boss well can really set you apart. You never know who is watching or listening but be assured, people who can open or close future opportunities for you are doing just that!

Stay true to your integrity as a leader and always maintain a calm and professional demeanour in dealing with your difficult boss. As Gandhi wrote "Be the change you want to see in the world." In this case, act like the leader you wish your boss was.

If you feel you’ve run out of options for dealing with them reasonably, then don’t go white anting or bad-mouthing them to everyone. That will ultimately say more about you than it does about your boss (and not things you'd want said!) Rather, follow proper procedures for registering complaints with Human Resources or with higher-level superiors, documenting each step of the way.

4. Be brave and speak up!

I remember in my twenties working with a boss who would yell and scream pretty much every day. I was new to the HR role and knew immediately I wanted to leave. First impressions count right? I decided after a few months that I needed to leave as it wasn’t aligned to my values. Upon speaking with her to let her know my decision, she was heartbroken. I told her why and she said she wish she knew how I felt. Why? She was going through a difficult time personally and was struggling. I never knew. We talked about it for a long time and I ended up staying. Her behaviour changed for the better.

Have the courage to say something. I was ready to walk out the door and admittedly I was young (mid-twenties) and inexperienced, but if I knew then what I do now, it would have been that I owed it to myself, and to my boss at the time, to have at least voiced my concerns a lot sooner, and engaged in a conversation about how we could have improved the situation early on. 

So just because it may be easier to say nothing, to just 'suffer quietly' or complain loudly to colleagues or to head for the exit as I ultimately did, you at least owe your boss the opportunity to respond. Don't prejudge and assume they aren't able to take feedback, or don't care how miserable you are. When you approach them with respect and with a genuine desire to make things work better, you can open the door to whole new levels of trust, collaboration and outcomes. A door that will remain permanently closed otherwise.

5. Know their preferences and work styles

Observe your boss’s behavioural style and preferences. Are they fast-paced and quick to make decisions? Are they slow to think about things, needing time to process information? How do they like to communicate? The more you can match your style to your boss’s style when communicating, the more they will really hear what you’re saying.

If you’ve ever done any personality assessments such as Myers-Briggs or DISC, then see if your boss has as well and find out what they are. It can help you adapt your style and spare a lot of strain. Working with their preferences is an obvious way of managing your boss without them knowing it, and it’s a key leadership skill to develop regardless of the kind of boss you are working for.

6. Don’t be intimidated by a bully!

Don’t ever tolerate a bully! They get their power by instilling fear in others. If your boss is a yeller, a criticiser, or a judge – stand firm. If you’re doing the best job you can do, keep your head held high and don’t give them the satisfaction of pushing you about. Rather ask questions, seek to understand, and work to defuse a difficult situation instead of cowering or responding in anger. It takes practice, but over time you will get better at it and they will look elsewhere for their power kick. I always say don’t ever walk past behaviour you wouldn’t accept. Be courageous and call them out in their behaviour and document it if necessary.

7. Do your research before jumping ship. 

Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener and sometimes you have no choice to jump ship. Of course the best way to manage a bad boss is not to have one in the first place. So whenever you are looking to move into a new role in the same company or move to another organisation all together, invest some time to get a sense of the culture, the leadership and the sort of management practices that are tolerated and supported. If you are moving internally, make sure you do your networking ahead of time to get a sense of both the environment within the team you might be moving to, and those who are creating it. Are they leaders who create an environment where people are inspired, courageous and supported to work hard, or do they incite fear about what will happen if people don't?

If you are moving to a new company, please do your research to make sure you’re not jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Sometimes in our desperation to escape a toxic work environment we fail to take notice of the warning signs that the new job we're taking will only be worse. Have a coffee with whoever you know at the new company to get a sense of the culture, employee engagement and management style. Investing a few hours up front could spare you a few years of frustration.

About Sonia McDonald

Sonia McDonald is the CEO and founder of LeadershipHQ and McDonald Inc. Sonia is an in demand keynote speaker, leadership coach and advisor, author and facilitator.

She believes we should lead with kindness and courage, from the heart, doing rather than telling and is known for her mantra ‘just lead’. She leads by example in all these areas and through her one on one practical coaching, leadership training for teams and organisations encourages others to do the same. Sonia has helped hundreds of people on their leadership journey to become the best version of themselves and in turn, inspire and bring out the best in others. Also she and her team have worked and partnered with a number of businesses and companies for over a decade build great leadership, teams and cultures.

For more than 25 years, Sonia has been on the front lines of Human Resources, Leadership and People and Culture. She has held leadership positions worldwide and through experience, research and study come to realise what it takes to be a truly great leader.

Sonia has an ability to speak bravely and authentically about her own development as a leader, personal and career challenges in a way which resonates with her audience. She has become an in-demand keynote speaker where she starts important conversations and inspires people around the world to lead with kindness and courage.

She is an award-winning published author of Leadership Attitude and Just Rock It! and writes regularly for publications such as The Australian, HRD Magazine, Smart Healthy Women and Women’s Business Media. Sonia has become recognised for her work in the leadership space across the globe where she leads the Outstanding Leadership Awards as well as her work in her leading podcast and The Leadership Channel where she celebrates and showcases great leaders and leadership.

Keynote Speaker

Sonia has been a keynote speaker for over a decade and has delivered presentations to a thousands of people all over the world. Renowned for her candid rhetoric, personable insights and fierce business acumen, her presentations and books have transformed how people worldwide conduct themselves as leaders. Book Sonia HERE.

Phone 1300 719 665

www.soniamcdonald.com.au

[email protected]

[email protected]

Follow Sonia below -

https://twitter.com/soniamcdonald01

https://www.instagram.com/sonia_speaker/

https://www.facebook.com/soniamcdonald01/