Managing Expectations

When you want something to change in your life, it is because you want to feel differently. Want to lose weight? It’s because you want to feel more attractive or healthier. Want to make more money? It’s because you want to feel secure. Want a better title? It’s because you want to feel more successful. Want a better relationship? It's because you want to feel connection.

Those feelings that you seek when you create a goal for yourself are a great way for you to get started, but they don’t do much to keep you going in the process or once you have met that goal. Because all feelings, good and bad, are temporary. We have to manage our expectations that success in any form won't change the truth that we all have good and bad things that will continue to happen to us, regardless of what we achieve.

We have to manage our expectations that external results will not change internal feelings.

I had goals in all of the forementioned areas, and I achieved them and then expected to walk on water forever and ever amen. And when I “ got there” I still had issues. The issues were different. And I was different. And that felt a little empty. I expected to be untouchable when I got to the top of the mountain. I had a sense of entitlement with my achievement, like it was a VIP pass to avoid problems because I did the hard work. I think that’s why so many people chase the next accomplishment and feel empty or hit a goal only to fall back into their original circumstance. They, like I, expect for life to maneuver around them because they have upgraded their capabilities/skills/power.

But here is the thing, when you create a goal based on a good feeling you want to have, you ultimately forget the truth that when you work towards this goal, and ultimately achieve this goal, you will still have crap thrown your way. Obstacles are the only guarantee of life. And it's the obstacles that we continue to endure that make us stronger and more equipped to take on bigger things in our lives.

You will lose weight, feel amazing and then you will have a day where you feel bloated and gross, even if you’re 15 pounds lighter. You will double your salary, be able to invest more in your savings and other assets, and you will still think about how you need to sustain your income and feel scared. You will get a promotion and your business card will show that you’re a Vice President of something, and you will still feel frustrated with work you don't love - like invoices, like managing adults who throw tantrums, like performing “up, down and across” an organization.

When you “get there,” you will likely celebrate and feel proud of yourself. Angels will sing and the sun will shine on your porcelain face. And then, someone will annoy you, you will have a rough day, you will want to second guess yourself. The devil will come and laugh at you and it will rain on your hair and it will frizz.

Manage your expectations. Anticipate that obstacles will still be there, they just may be bigger ones because you grew as a person when you crossed your mountain. Accept that some moments are good and some moments are bad, but it's the contrast that creates the beauty in life.