Managing Emotional Incidents

Three months ago, I fell awkwardly and badly damaged my shoulder. Following the accident, I found myself replaying the fall in my head, sometimes in the form of dreams that would wake me in the night. Questions began to circulate - why did it happen, what a stupid thing to do, it is all your fault – I am sure you know how it goes.

When something negative happens to us, the brain goes through a process of replaying the event so that we will learn from what occurred. It is designed to help us avoid a future incident or to know what to do should the same incident occur again. This process Is extremely uncomfortable and if left unchecked can lead to Acute Stress Diagnosis (I dislike the word ‘disorder’ so have changed it to diagnosis) and at the extreme end, post-traumatic stress.

I had surgery three days ago to repair two muscles, one fully torn from the bone and the other partially. The pain is managed by a nerve block pump and oral medication. Repairing the physical injury is going to be a long one and require numerous physio sessions over the next 18 months.

Physio is a necessary part of healing the body. It can be painful, intense, emotional, and exhausting.

During our Coping Skills workshops I ask the audience who in the room has ever had physio? Over 90% acknowledge that at some time in their life they have required physio. I then state, “So you've all had therapy then?” The full term for the treatment is physiotherapy!

Why is it then that we struggle to tell others that we require mind (brain) therapy despite both treatments being similar. A physiotherapist will identify the cause of the injury by getting us to talk about what occurred and will generally push hardest on the part that hurts the most to release the blockage to get the blood flowing and reduce the pain. In a similar way, so does a psychotherapist or psychologist, they push hardest on the emotion that is the most painful to release the built-up energy thus reducing the pain.

As we have discussed in previous posts, emotions will come out, they must. They have to come out otherwise they will fester and grow and make it more difficult to repair the memory (injury) in the same way that it's important that we get physio sooner rather than later.

The main difference between the two therapies is that repairing emotional pain requires more effort from the client rather than the specialist doing all of the work. It can be very difficult to go back and relive an incident because the accompanying emotion will be refreshed and become real. However, it is a very necessary part of the healing process.

How am I dealing with the fluctuating emotions accompanying the flashbacks of the incident, by openly talking about them. Telling my confidante what happened, how scared I was when it happened, and how I'm feeling as I go through the repair process of body and mind.

I am learning to show no bravery, to not hide how I was feeling or what I was thinking during the fall to get the emotions out. It works, the flashbacks are reducing. Additionally, when we show our vulnerability to another, the person we are speaking with also finds it easier to open up about how they felt when they found out about the incident and how they feel as they see us go through the repair process. We share our emotions.

Talking about our emotions isn’t about moaning or complaining about what happened, it's acknowledging our true self and what we went through when the incident happened. Expressing an emotion significantly reduces it and if the person we are talking with acknowledges that expression it disarms the emotion so that is no longer as harmful as it might have been.

Talking about mind health should be no different to talking about body health for they are interconnected, both make us who we are, and I would suggest that the mind is more important. Visiting a counselor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or psychiatrist should be no different than visiting a GP or physiotherapist. They are necessary in our recovery.

Let's talk!

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Lance, a former police crisis negotiator and personnel?development manager, now provides enhanced communication, safety management, and personal resilience support to businesses across all industries;?https://www.warninternational.com/?

Lance is the author of the bestsellers - Behind The Tape and Dark Side of the Brain?-?https://www.warninternational.com/products?category=Books and has created a series of eLearning courses - https://elearning.warninternational.com/