Managing Disappointment to Create Success

I’d venture to say that there isn’t a person in business who hasn’t experienced a less than desirable outcome, whether it’s an advertising campaign, a corporate event or a disappointing hire.

“If you live long enough, you'll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you'll be a better person. It's how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit”. William J. Clinton

We all experience disappointment. In the recruiting world, it’s placing a candidate in the wrong corporate culture (we are truly sorry) or taking on a client who turns out to be impossible and unrealistic in their expectations. All through the ups and downs, there is no doubt that I’ve grown spiritually and successfully, and I’m happy to report, so have many of the companies that I’ve had the honor to work with and recruit for over the years.

I believe that overcoming disappointment is what makes us strong. It’s the ability and freedom to make a mistake, yes, you heard me, screw-up!  Recently we had a difficult client. What made them difficult was their less than pleasant communications with us, even though we successfully recruited two team members. We were working on a third placement, when we collectively wondered, “Is it worth our time if we keep on feeling demoralized by our client”? Taking a collective sigh, we realized that we needed to resign from the account. As a team we learned collective disappointment and that sometimes these experiences are unavoidable.  We often have to communicate disappointment when a candidate doesn’t land the “perfect” position (Nothing is perfect) or my client stays up all night, because he knows that he doesn’t have the talent to win the business. We all experience the letdown, life happens and generally we roll with it.

“If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes”. John Wooden

So why do we feel bad and disappointed? Because, most of us set expectations; both reasonable and unattainable. It’s great to have a strategy to transform that “down” feeling into motivated action. Sales professionals especially are faced with no’s on a daily basis and if they are not getting no’s, then I would venture to say they are not doing their job.

Learning and creating positive behaviors from business disappointment:

Ask yourself, what was my initial expectation? Did we set out realistic goals? The answer to this is sometimes surprising…Setting expectations is one of the ground rules of business; however, we often forget this step. It’s not as easy as it sounds, because setting expectations requires planning and doing homework. Take the salesperson, the best salespeople tend to invest time in researching their prospects before making the pitch.   Organizations also need to have effective communications, such as regular meetings to help teams strategize and re-evaluate at each phase of a project. People aren’t born stars, (OK, Mozart is one of the exceptions) and therefore, coaching plays a big role in people’s success and how they handle losing. When you lose a pitch to another company, instead of feeling bad about the results, examine the process and use that learning for the next time. Was the presentation well thought out? What was the initial motivation? Did we take the steps that we needed to achieve a desirable outcome? Remember, we call it pitching, and the best pitchers in baseball throw out a lot of balls to hone their skills.

Set expectations:

Before you hire anyone, set expectations. I have discovered in recruiting for the past two decades that the most difficult period in people’s careers is the first 90 days on a new job. So often companies don’t have a clear onboarding process and habitually the ‘newbie’ doesn’t know protocol and what they are supposed to be doing. Your onboarding process has a direct impact on employee attitudes and creating winning teams.

 Freedom to fail:

We can change the desired outcome altogether, if you have a culture that encourages innovation. Innovation comes about in two ways: by mistake: When I travel I always say that I’m never lost, I simply find new places. Then there is an old adage, “the road to success was littered with failure” – go ask the guys who started Google, Apple and Facebook. I recently had a client who was intolerant of mistakes to the point of belittling their staff and therefore stifling creativity. My client constantly complained that they couldn’t grow their business, that they didn’t have enough time to complete client projects. Every person they hired was a failure and “just didn’t get it”. Unfortunately, this CEO is incapable of looking in the mirror and what he doesn’t comprehend, is his rigid management style is the root of their growth problem. He couldn’t or wouldn’t understand personal styles. It was his way or the highway.

Innovation also comes about by persistent trial and error. Scientists spend years finding new cures for diseases. Fact: The fastest growing companies have leaders that encourage exploration through trial and error. I often talk with leaders that describe their career as a difficult journey filled with failures and celebrated with incredible triumphs. True leaders have the ability to withstand disappointment and fight to achieve success.

Team Building:

There is something truly thrilling (at least to me), when you have a team that is cohesive and on the same page in order to accomplish set objectives. Strong leaders encourage team collaboration and give autonomy and the ability for team building. Learning the hard way is often the best way. Give your team some wiggle room and don’t spoon feed the information. Basically, have them “look it up” and come to their own conclusions. When you do give assignments and or tasks, make sure that you are playing to their strengths. It’s great to have them stretch, but not to set them up for failure by playing to their weaknesses. One way to do this is to meet with employees one on one to evaluate their role and how they feel they are doing. Don’t be shy about having a fierce conversation. You need to make sure that you have the right people in the right seats. Have people discuss what they are proud of, but also what they’ve learned from their disappointments. Coach them how to lose so that they are seasoned for success.

Right People in the Right Seats: 

Culture is first! Understand the underbelly of your company. Why do we care and what are our passions? The “fit” is paramount to the success of your business. Hiring the wrong person can be costly and harmful to your team. If we hired simply on skills, life would be easy and there wouldn’t be a need for interviews and ‘getting to know you’ rituals. Success equates to people and people equate to values and values are the cornerstones of your business. Once a person is successfully onboard and integrated in your culture, you may have to adjust the seat. Recently, we hired Samantha for a recruiter/sales position. Samantha is learning the ropes of research, but what I observed while working closely with her, is her penchant for social digital media. We truly appreciate Samantha and value her passion and skills. She is now forging our new social media strategy and working with our outside agencies to deliver our unique messaging. The take away is to constantly evaluate and welcome earnest mistakes and manage disappointments. It will help you lead and find the right people and place them in the right seats.

Erika Weinstein: CEO of eTeam Executive Search www.eteamexecutivesearch.com – global human headhunters who are passionate about building business with the right people.