Managers manage numbers. Leaders look after their people.

“I know of no case study in history that describes an organisation that has been managed out of a crisis. Every single one of them was led.”

These are the thought provoking first sentences Simon Sinek uses on page one of his book “Leaders Eat Last”. A book in which he goes on to share his reflections on our human need to ‘feel safe’ at work and how a leader’s primary job, above all other things, is to lead in a way that creates “safety”.

The thing is, if we’re brutally honest, the world isn’t full of leaders who do just that. The majority of leaders aren’t able to get leadership teaching through MBA programmes or business schools. Leadership development, despite being an entire industry in its own right, is remarkably uncommon in workplaces the world over and is often something that has to be fought for in budgets rather than the ‘first thing on the team sheet’ so to speak.

Leaders today aren’t taught the value and importance of humility and the need to be ‘emotionally awake’ to the softer side of leadership, the bit of leadership responsibility that “deeply cares for the people”. In fact, it wouldn’t be too difficult to argue a case that most leaders aren’t taught ‘leadership’ full stop. All too often, leaders get promoted into positions of responsibility and authority because they were good at a particular function they performed lower down the business ladder (e.g. sales, marketing, operations etc.) and, in many cases, promoted leaders are simply expected to know what effective leadership is without any formal training or development on the subject. As Sinek cleverly crafts, “good leaders must truly care about those entrusted to their care.” Yet how many leaders actually know this? I suspect fewer than most people imagine.

For those of you unfamiliar with Simon Sinek’s work, he describes himself as an “optimist who believes in creating a brighter future for all”. If that’s a bit hippy and new age for you, think of him in layman’s terms as more like a researcher, author and exceptional speaker. His Ted Talk on ‘Knowing Your Purpose’ (Start With Why) is one of the all-time most watched TedTalks on YouTube and he has an exceptional understanding of how humankind is designed to work and a passion for linking this to leadership in the modern age.

Whilst ‘Leaders Eat Last’ is deep, complex and a little overwhelming in places – it covers everything from our tribal ancestry to how to lead millennials - if you look closely enough within the nine or so chapters, all the ingredients are there to inspire and educate leaders on what “great leadership looks like”. In a nutshell, it boils down to our human need to belong to something.

Humans perform best when they feel “safe”

The principle message that Sinek is making through his book is that as homo sapiens, we are naturally built to help each other out. Helping one another occurs naturally within us and doesn’t necessarily need coercion, pressure or force that leadership can so often apply in the working environment.

Sinek outlines that “safety” is something that happens when leaders in organisations listen to their people. It creates a sense of pride within people and enables workplaces to become more than “a place to come to work”, instead evolving into one where people actively “work for each other”. As Sinek puts it, “we stop working out of obligation”, i.e. because we’re expected or told to, and instead, work “because we want to”. It becomes a place we feel valued and where we value those around us.

Sinek talks at length through ‘Leaders East Last’ about the evolution of humankind. He makes connections between present day leadership and that of the early formations of ‘tribes’. How, despite our evolutionary progress, we still hold dear the same needs and wants for safety all these many years later. As Sinek nicely shares, in studying high-performing organisations, the ones who create safety reveal cultures that reflect an “eerie resemblance to the conditions under which the human animal was designed to operate”. That when certain conditions are harnessed in an organisation, by its leader’s, people feel safe. When people feel safe, “they will work together to achieve things none of them could ever have achieved alone”. As Sinek explains, it’s how great leaders, and great organisations, “tower over their competitors”.

Safety = Belonging

If you look closely enough at leadership books, the best-selling ones like those of Jim Collins, Brene Brown, Patrick Lencioni and Simon Sinek, all share a similar message of leaders needing to place extreme value in creating trust based relationships in their organisations. And as Sinek outlines early in his book, a feeling of belonging to something “dramatically enhances trust, cooperation and problem solving”.

Sinek shares that “Intimidation, humiliation and rejection” are all stresses/dangers humans strive to avoid, especially so in organisations. An environment that is completely manufactured and controllable. A leader, therefore, is responsible for creating an environment (culture) free from internal danger of people turning on one another. Leaders need to focus on creating a sense of belonging amongst people, a culture based on human values and beliefs, where trust and empathy are at the heart of people’s behaviours, and where people are empowered to make decisions and take action. A “circle of safety” as Sinek describes it.

Sinek strongly believes that “it is the company we keep who will determine where we invest our energy”. He poses that “the more we trust that people have our backs, the better equipped we are to deal with threats from the outside” like competitors wanting to wipe us out, changes in market conditions or evolution and disruption in our markets. Sinek says that “only when we feel safe do we pull together as a unified team better able to survive and thrive regardless of conditions outside.”

This is more straight forward a thing to manage and maintain when organisations start up. They are small, nimble and often made up of a collection of like-minded individuals or friends. The problem is, when organisations grow, bureaucracy creeps in. Leaders are “responsible for the extension of the circle of safety” and must equip managers with the mindset to continue to maintain an environment that keeps people safe. Leaders need to be in a position where they can “trust managers to look out for those in their charge” the same way they are expected to look out for people under their personal charge. The problem is, the bigger an organisation gets, the more layers of hierarchy that get introduced, the harder this all gets. As Sinek puts it, “when those inside work primarily to protect themselves, progress slows and the entire organisation becomes more susceptible to threats from the outside”. We’re “social animals” as Sinek labels it. In that, we are “most productive when we trust and cooperate” and when there isn’t trust or cooperation, we get less done. “Simples!” as the British Prime Minister might say!  You only have to look at the world of politics for real tangible examples of lack of trust equalling lack of progress. This isn’t lost on Sinek who explains at great length the problems in US politics today in ‘Leaders Eat Last’. To be clear, cooperation doesn’t mean agreement. It’s working together to “advance the greater good”. Leaders serving those who “rely on our protection” rather than racking up personal wins or one-upmanship.

When leaders create a strong circle of safety, “Collaboration, trust and innovation happens”, all the things necessary for performance and growth. These things are commonly linked however, they cannot be instructed by leaders. A leader cannot simply tell someone to trust them. In the same breath, they can’t instruct people to come up with big ideas nor can they demand that people cooperate. It only happens as a result of “feeling safe and trusted”. It’s binary.

Safety is two-way too. Sinek talks about it not only being the “leaders job to show concern and interest” for those they are responsible for, employees need to show empathy for their leaders also. They go hand in hand but a leader sets the tone for how people behave throughout the organisation and one doesn’t come without the other.

If you’ve got this far down this article and are willing to read further, know that this isn’t all soft and fluffy. Science proves that in some cases safety can literally equate to life and death. Studies completed by the University of Canberra, Australia, found that the “implications of a bad working environment, one of no trust, no safety, is worse for a person’s health than not having a job at all”. Higher levels of stress and anxiety could be found in people unhappy (unsafe) at work than in those simply out of work. The pressures that trigger stress and anxiety have “less to do with the work we do” and more to do with “poor leadership”. Stress levels decrease when we feel cared for. In other words, when we feel safe.

We’re wired to feel like we belong!

As far as I’m aware, leaders are rarely exposed to teachings on the chemical make-up of our beautifully crafted minds. Whilst I should caveat this next part by pointing out that I’m no scientist, leaders need to be mindful to the chemical reactions that go on in the human brain when things happen at work and how as humans, we’re wired to positively or negatively react to what we face. Leaders, or leadership style rather, has a direct impact on the sense of belonging someone ‘feels’ and the subsequent impact on the health of employees this ‘feeling’ triggers. There are few feelings that humans crave more than a sense of belonging and our chemical make-up drives these desires. Sinek refers to this as leaders knowing and caring about “EDSO”. Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin.

• Endorphins serve a single purpose which is to mask physical pain. Endorphins are often released when people experience stress or fear. They mask physical pain with pleasure and as Stephen Colbert, the political satirist, put it, “you can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time”. Laughing releases endorphins and during stressful times, light heartedness goes a long way to help reduce tensions and anxiety so that people can focus on getting our jobs done. Leaders need to be mindful to the importance of “fun” and that creating environments of continuous stress and anxiety do nothing but harm productivity and slow down progress.
• Dopamine is the reason people feel good when they find something they’ve been looking for or complete something that needed to be done. It triggers that feeling of satisfaction people get after something of importance or value is finished. Dopamine makes humans goal-oriented, it’s the very reason people have a preference for “progress”, its’ inbuilt within us. As long as we can see something clearly in our minds eye, understand its value and visualise what it needs to be considered done, dopamine pushes people on their way. Naturally, humans are a visually oriented species. Humans trust their eyes more than any of the four other senses, hence the phrase “seeing is believing”. As Sinek puts it, “a bump in the night gets people alert but we have to see it to really believe it”. This is the reason corporate vision statements exist and leaders need to value creating something their people can see in their minds eye. As Sinek states, “that’s why it’s called a ‘vision’”.
• Serotonin is the feeling of pride. It’s the feeling people get when they perceive that others like or respect them. It makes people feel strong and confident. As social animals, to use Sinek’s phrasing, we don’t just “want approval of those in our tribe”, “we need it”. It matters in order for people to feel valued for the effort they put in. This is why things like awards ceremonies exist and why we seek out “likes” on social platforms like this one! Every time people show approval (e.g. recognition or acknowledgment, people get a shot of serotonin through their body.  It’s not just one-way either. Witnessing someone we care about achieve something of significance triggers the same reaction chemically within us. Sinek explains it like a graduation ceremony. Not only is the graduate getting an immense feeling of pride in receiving their honours, so too are the parents watching gleefully from their seat in the audience.
• Oxytocin, (everyone’s favourite chemical!) gives people the feeling of friendship, love and deep trust. It’s what people feel when they are in the company of those they trust most of all. Without oxytocin, people wouldn’t want to perform acts of generosity and there wouldn’t be any empathy either. Trust based relationships wouldn’t be possible or even friendships for that matter. Oxytocin makes humans social. As much as people like to consider themselves individual, at our core, we are all simply herd animals designed to find comfort in groups. The human brain is wired to release oxytocin when it’s in the presence of its tribe. In opposite circumstances, one of anxiety and stress, it releases cortisol, the chemical that creates the feeling of fight or flight. As Sinek makes clear, there is “strong evidence that a healthy release of oxytocin, through acts of service, sacrifice and selflessness might actually reduce the possibility of a toxic culture coming about in the first place” within an organisation. This is why leaders need to focus on building tribes within their organisations where trust-based relationships sit at the very foundation of all relationships. Scientific studies also point to oxytocin helping people beat addictions and live longer lives, a 2012 Duke University Medical centre study discovered this.

Why leaders need to care about creating a sense of belonging

The link between physical interaction and an increased feeling of belonging is trust. One drives the other. There is a reason why organisations like Apple and Google design physical spaces for people to bump into each other. “Physical interaction increases a feeling of belonging and that drives trust!” as Sinek outlines. In the same way that athletes in teams use touch as a way of reinforcing bonds - an acknowledging tap on the back, an encouraging high five, or an empathetic hug - all demonstrate commitment to one another. Physical contact is a clear demonstration of our willingness to trust. It’s why the phrase “let’s shake on it” exists. It’s a symbol of trust that we have agreed on something and will follow through on our action.

If great leaders are in tune with “EDSO”, then the worst leaders are those that choose to deal only with the letter “C” – the dreaded cortisol effect.

Cortisol is not designed to be in our systems for long periods of time. It is designed to fire off and warn us when we sense a threat, leaving us again when that threat has passed. Its purpose and intent is for the greater good, a warning signal that helps us stay alive. The stress on our bodies is serious however and if humans go through sustained period where cortisol is flooding through their bodies it can cause lasting damage. A perpetual state of fear and anxiety is not something we’ve been designed to cope with. Cortisol can seriously damage a person’s health. Yes, it can aide survival, but it’s not supposed to be in our system all the time. Cortisol increases aggression and generally leaves people feeling stressed out. Because it’s a fight or flight trigger, a person’s body temporarily shuts down nonessential functions when they experience cortisol in their system (e.g. digestion, growth). Its preparing the body for reaction – i.e. RUN! A human’s brain is wired in a way that it doesn’t care about understanding what the threat is, it’s only interest is survival. Its why some fears are completely illogical.  

If leaders create work in environments in which “trust is low, relationships are weak and stress and anxiety are normal, we become more vulnerable to illness”, Sinek says. A position of responsibility isn’t what makes someone a leader. Being a leader is a choice to “serve others with or without any formal rank”. True leaders are those willing to look out for the people to the left and right of them. A willingness to sacrifice their own comfort for others. Leaders are the ones who give up something for us, their time, their energy, their money, maybe even food off their plate. All of this creates truckloads of trust between people. Sinek puts it like this, “trust is a biological reaction to when we feel someone has our well-being at heart”.

Throughout his book, Sinek compares leadership to parenting, sharing, “every single employee is someone’s son or someone’s daughter. Like a parent, a leader of a company is responsible for their precious lives”. Whilst Sinek’s language might, for some, be a barrier, the message is clear and he’s right too. Trust is the bed rock of all relationships and in order to perform at work, employees need to feel safe - to trust - in their leaders, to know and feel, that they have their backs.  Sinek’s view of the world is this, “we would never dream of getting rid of one of our children in hard times. If anything, the whole family would come together. Why then, should it be any different in an organisation?”. Isn’t it better that everyone suffers a little than no one suffer a lot?

The difference between a company doing well in tough times and one doing less well is because the people in that organisation are willing to commit “blood, sweat and tears so their company can advance and grow strong” Sinek says. People don’t do this because they are instructed to do it. They do it because they want to. Because they feel safe! The opposite to this is simply fear and fear hurts innovation and progress - two of the very things all organisations need and or claim to want.

Leaders need to pay attention to the natural chemicals that can either benefit and drive performance or impede and stifle productivity. They should be in tune with it. Find out more about it. Be interested and share their knowledge with people. It’s a sure-fire path to high performance. A leader should create an environment (e.g. the culture) in which the right chemicals are released for the right reasons within people. If we get the environment right, the “human animal” make up we all share, will result in a highly motivated group of people. As Sinek shares, “when the system is in balance, we seem to gain almost super natural ability”. Courage, inspiration, foresight, creativity, empathy are just a few outputs of an effective leadership style in an organisation.

Leaders set the tone for acceptable or unacceptable behaviour in the workplace. How can a lower level manager be expected to care about “creating safety and belonging” if the leaders at the top show no care or concern about it in the first place. Too many poor performing organisations have a ‘do as I say’ leadership style rather than a ‘we’re in it together’ mentality. We have an absolute need to form bonds of trust. Our survival depends on it. As Sinek says, “our brains are constantly evaluating the words and behaviours of those around us, leaders and people. When a leader embraces their responsibility to care for people rather than care for numbers then people will follow, solve problems and see to it that a leader’s vison comes to life the right way”.

Creating clarity for leaders: Simon Sinek’s five things every leader should be doing:

1. Bring people together – Create moments for people to connect, it builds trust, it forms the relationships needed to drive high performance and equip people with the resilience to weather the tough times. As Sinek says, “nothing can replace face-to-face meetings for social animals like us…. It makes us feel like we belong. Trust is formed across a table, not a screen.” Real live human interaction is how we feel part of something, develop trust and have the capacity to feel for others.
2. Manage the numbers – Think in groups of 150 people. It’s impossible for people to have a proper human connection beyond that of 150 people, evolution teaches us that and so do the studies of Robin Dunbar, Professor of Experimental Psychology at Oxford University. Dunbar found that people simply cannot maintain more than about 150 close relationships, exactly the same as similar studies found regarding the early groups of homo sapiens that lived in hunter/gatherer tribes of between 100 and 150 people. What this teaches us is that we are more likely to look after people we personally know that those we don’t.
3. Empower people to walk a mile in people’s shoes - Get out there and be amongst the people that you are there to serve, help your people see the difference they actually make through the work they do. As social animals, it is imperative that we see the actual tangible impact of our time and effort for work to have meaning and for us to feel and remain motivated to do it better. Having our bosses tell us how meaningful our work is, is far less powerful than actually seeing it for ourselves. Feel for the people and think about the numbers. Don’t get confused and feel something for the numbers and think about the people. People should matter most to leaders!
4. Give your most precious gift – time - it’s what matters most – Our status in life doesn’t matter, when you boil it down, we all share one thing in common, we all have 24 hours in a day and share 365 days in a year. When someone is willing to give us something that is finite (which “time” is) we perceive it to have far greater value that that of anything else. Leaders need to set the example in giving of their time, not in just creating space to meet and talk with their people but in being ‘present’ with their people on all occasions. As Sinek says, “when we talk to someone while reading our emails or sit in a meeting with one eye on our phone, we are demonstrating that we don’t really care or that something else is more important in that moment. Loyalty is produced when leaders are willing, when it matters, to sacrifice their time and energy to help us”.
5. Accept that trust is earnt over time – We live in a world full of impatience. We seek instant gratification through “likes” on social media (the irony of this being posted on LinkedIn isn’t lost on me here) and the knowledge that Google likely has the answer available for us the moment we need it. We don’t even have to type out a search these days, we just “ask Alexa”. It takes time to get to know someone and build the trust required to sustain a relationship. If an organisation needs solid relationships that are equipped to weather tough times, commit to the lengthy process of building trust. Commit to it. Embrace it. Evangelise about it. The quality of relationships across an organisation start and end with the leader’s value in trust based relationships.

At the end of the day, leadership is about taking responsibility for lives, not numbers. As Sinek summarises so beautifully, “managers look after numbers – leaders look after their people’. How true that is! “Leadership is a responsibility to do more. It takes work. It takes time and energy”. The effects of great leadership are not always easily measured, certainly not in the short term, but over time, when we look back, it is never the work people remember, rather it is the camaraderie of how people came together to get things done that sticks so firmly in the mind.

So, what about me?

I spend a lot of time speaking to organisations and leaders about what leadership involves. I share in these sessions that talking about leadership is one thing, but actually being a leader is altogether different. It may not be rocket science but that doesn’t make it easy. Leadership is hard and so say many of the experts that speak on the subject. To quote Brene Brown, “Studying leadership is way easier than leading”.

I’m a “belonging” type of person. My personality profile says that I like to work for a leader or a cause so I guess it’s easier for me to associate with this inner need we all share around belonging to something. Do I actively work to create a sense of belonging as a leader today though? A little, but I could do a lot better.

I’ve always worked for small companies – anything from 10 to a few hundred people. I enjoy the more personal relationships you get when working in smaller “tribes” as Sinek calls it. I’m pretty good at building trust based relationships and openness and honesty has always been a core part of building trust with people. Do I create safety though? Not purposely.

Where ‘Leaders Eat Last’ really hits home for me is the awareness I need as a leader to do the little things with real purpose. Many things I do today are done out of instinct which on one level is good, but to do them knowing that they are genuinely helping people with their sense of belonging enables me to move beyond instinct and into a place of habit. Habit equals consistency. I work hard on building trust with people and use vulnerability, openness and honesty as something that drives trust in my relationships. It helps to know the chemical impact of building trust (oxytocin) to ensure this is front and centre in my thinking at all times moving forward.

Making “belonging” (or creating a circle of safety) a part of my leadership toolkit will definitely equip me with the tools and thinking to get the best out of people under my charge. I can definitely focus more on the benefits of endorphins to lighten the mood. I take my work seriously, I’m passionate about what I do but that doesn’t mean we can’t all have a little fun along the way too.

I can do more to help people realise the benefits of dopamine by creating more clarity in people’s minds eye over the vision we are all striving for. I can do more to create a greater number of serotonin shots for people by actively recognising what people do and in doing so, I also get the benefit of a little shot of pride (serotonin) myself too – not that that’s the reason for doing it mind you.

I think for me in this instance, to steal a phrase from Amy Cuddy (social psychologist, author and speaker), “tiny tweaks lead to big changes!” There is a realisation in reading ‘Leaders Eat Last’ that I do a few things quite naturally but doing more of them and doing them with purpose and meaning can have a huge impact on the people that work as part of the teams that I run. As a recent Harvard Business Review article stated, “a leader is never complete….” - how true that is!