A Manager's Guide to Decoding Work Excuses in the Age of AI

Dear fellow managers: Remember when interpreting employee excuses was straightforward? Back in the 1990s, when I told my boss that I had a "printer jam", it meant I forgot the deadline. My standard "caught in CTE" meant I overslept.

But in this brave new world of AI, our excuse-detection skills need an urgent upgrade. To help managers navigate these linguistic gymnastics, I’ve compiled this handy translation guide. Think of it as your Rosetta Stone for the AI age, where "the model is hallucinating" is the new "the dog ate my homework."

I hope you'll use this guide wisely, and remember: if an employee mentions "API tokens" before 9 AM on a Monday, they definitely haven't started the work yet*.

(Request: if you have your own personal favourites, please mention them in the comments. Kam sia!)

*Disclaimer: no API tokens were harmed in the writing of this article.