Managers disguised as Supermen - Superwomen

Promoting female managers as super women hinders equality in the workplace

I have just read an article from a female CEO, mother of 9, who describes how self branding, including wardrobe, shoes and make-up supports her business career among men. Reading the article, I cannot stop thinking, how irrelevant, how surreal it is.

I am a mother of two (already adult) children and I have a relatively long management career behind my back.

This during a time, when women have been fighting all along to reach equal terms not only in management, but in the workplace in general.

How many times have we been reading these impressive articles in different magazines about women, who are super managers, super mothers, and - based on the attached pictures - super models.

Other than these articles are super irritating to flesh-and-blood female managers, who happen to be mothers at the same time, nothing sets back more women’s equality in the workplace.

How many articles have you seen, where handsome male super managers, super daddies relate their careers in terms of juggling with management and child / family care. When a man is interviewed about his manager qualities, the first sentence will not state 'father of 2', unless he is at least father of 5.

Men do not need such promotion. If they are managers, nobody will raise the question: ‘and who takes care of the children in the meantime?’

Setting unachievable standards

Today it is prohibited in many countries to promote facial creams with extensive photo shopping. It is also prohibited in many places to put models under certain weight (and age) on the catwalk to present dresses.

This is due to the proven negative psychological affect of showing such models. Why? Because, when we see those models in those dresses and Jane Fonda at the age of 80 without a single wrinkle, we, others feel that we are not enough, and we can never be enough.

And then we try to be similar, as slim as the model is on the catwalk. We try to be as beautiful and wrinkle-free as the superstar actress is on TV, and we inevitably will fail.

First of all, because these models and actresses in reality are also far from their promo pictures. The star actress is shamelessly photo-shopped, and the beautiful model is very likely to fight eating and psychological disorder.

Secondly, because we live an every day life, we work, we take care of our family, run the household, try to keep up with friends, etc. The only thing models take care of, - 24 hours a day - is how they look like.

Now, when I see an article, or a picture, or a cover page about the supermanager-supermother-supermodel, I put these articles into the same category as famous actresses photo-shopped pictures to promote the effect of a certain cream or the anorexic model trying to impress us with the dresses she wears.

They all make us feel as if we were constantly failing.

Personal experiences

I was there. I am a mother of two, I used to be a manager and I also tried to look good. From all this, I managed to keep myself non-neglected. For the rest, I was either a good manager or a great mother.

What I am truly grateful for is that I had the chance to be both. Not at the same time, though.

I used to be a manager before my children were born and I concentrated on my career. Then, when my children were born, I became a full-time mother for several years, so I was there with my daughters when they made their first steps and started to speak. The most beautiful time of my life.

Then, I inevitably returned to work and assumed the not-so-super mother / manager role. I could not spend as much time with my children as I wanted to, but we had help: we could count on my parents and on my loving husband, who – a busy manager himself – never hesitated to ‘roll up his sleeves’ and take his share of the tasks. So, we – together - made sure that our children were extensively loved and well taken care of.

I would never pretend, however, that I was the best mother and on Earth while being a full-time manager at the same time.

Self-promotions are on a wider scale

These promotions of ideals are not limited to manager mothers. The male CEO, who went on a 5-day vacation, then recommends 5 books that he read during these vacations, at the same time posting pictures of spending time with family, walking the dog, skiing or water-skiing, running and sailing, etc.

There is no other intention behind these posts or articles than to impress you, the regular mortal, and suggest that the top leader of the organization is truly Supermen himself (or Superwoman herself).

Do not fall for them

If you see such posts or articles or any other forms of putting a superwoman example in front of you, always remember the photo-shopping, even the lies behind. We all have 24 hours a day.

You are a wonderful being, if you chose to be a mother and delay or limit your career because of it. You are equally wonderful, if you chose your career and use help in taking care of your family. And you are utterly amazing if you undertake the challenge of being a mother and a manager at the same time.

Do not beat yourself up, if you cannot be perfect on all fronts, nobody can. Chose your priorities and enjoy whatever you decide to do. We always say that life is too short for… and here comes a long list of what everything life is short for. In reality, for most, life is comfortably long enough to focus on many important things, just not on all of them at the same time.