Manage Yourself First

In today's fast-paced, high-pressure business world, it's all too easy for leaders to get caught up in the whirlwind of deadlines, performance metrics, and the bottom line. We've all seen it: the frenzied executive barking orders, making unilateral decisions, and treating employees like cogs in a machine. But what if there was a better way? What if, instead of operating outwardly, leaders looked inward to truly understand and support their teams? Spoiler alert: there is a better way, and it will significantly change your style and your effectiveness.

An inward focus requires a leader be mindful of what's going on around them and how it influences their feelings and responses. First off, let's talk about mindfulness. No, I'm not suggesting that CEOs start their meetings with group meditation sessions (although, hey, it couldn't hurt). I'm talking about leaders being truly present and attuned to what's happening around them, rather than being slaves to their own racing thoughts and agendas. When leaders take the time to slow down, focus on their breathing and their awareness of their surroundings, they can create space for clearer thinking, better decision-making, and more authentic connections with their team members. They're able to respond mindfully rather than react impulsively. And that creates the opportunity for understanding, and the resulting wisdom to reveal themselves.

To be effective, mIndfulness needs to be closely associated with self-awareness – the ability to honestly examine one's own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. As Edgar H. Schein argues in his book Humble Inquiry, leaders need to be willing to question their own assumptions, biases, and blind spots. They need to be open to feedback, even (especially) when it's uncomfortable. They need to have the humility to admit when they're wrong or don't have all the answers. Only by truly knowing themselves can leaders hope to understand and empathize with others.

Which brings us to the third piece of the puzzle: deep listening. Too often, leaders think their job is to talk – to give directives, share their wisdom, and rally the troops with inspiring speeches. But as Schein points out, the most transformative leadership moments often happen when leaders stop talking and start listening. Not just hearing words, but really listening to understand someone else's perspective, experiences, and needs. When leaders ask genuine questions and create space for others to share their truth, they build trust, psychological safety, and mutual respect. They make their team members feel seen, valued, and heard – which, in turn, inspires them to do their best work.

Of course, none of this is easy. Practicing mindfulness, self-awareness, and deep listening requires a level of vulnerability and courage that many leaders shy away from. It means setting aside the ego and admitting that you're human, with flaws and limitations like everyone else. But the payoff is immense. When leaders embody these principles, they create a culture of openness, collaboration, and growth. They tap into the collective wisdom and potential of their teams. They foster loyalty, engagement, and innovation. And they build organizations that don't just survive, but thrive.

So, to all you leaders out there: take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and lend an ear. Your teams (and your bottom line) will thank you. And if anyone is skeptical and accuses you of being "too soft", urge them to try it first. It works. ?Because in the end, the strongest leaders are those with the humility to keep learning, growing, and managing themselves first.