Manage Your Manager

“Everyone will have a ‘bad boss’ at some point.”

How often have you heard this? While the sentiment may feel true, it’s not very helpful when you’re stuck in that situation. Instead of resigning yourself to frustration, let’s talk about how to flip the script; how to manage your manager and create a more productive relationship, even when you don’t agree with their approach.

The Real Role of Managing Up

Managing your manager isn’t about manipulation or flattery. It’s about creating alignment:

• Alignment of expectations: What do they really value?
• Alignment of communication: How can you adapt to their style?
• Alignment of goals: How can you position your priorities to match their vision?

When done well, managing up turns an adversarial relationship into a collaborative one.

3 Steps to Managing Your Manager

1. Shift the Mindset: From Frustration to Curiosity Instead of focusing on what you dislike about their style, ask:

• What motivates them?
• What challenges might they be facing?

Psychologists call this perspective-taking, and it’s a proven way to reduce tension and build empathy. Remember, your manager is human too and likely dealing with pressures you don’t see.

2. Adapt to Their Style Without Losing Your Own Great leaders are versatile. If your manager is hyper-detail-oriented, show them you’ve thought through the specifics. If they’re big-picture focused, lead with vision and connect details later. Think of this as learning their “operating manual.” You don’t have to change who you are; you just have to communicate in a way they understand.

3. Over-Communicate on Priorities and Progress Misalignment often comes down to missed communication. Make it a habit to clarify expectations:

Here’s what I’m prioritizing this week, does this match what you need from me?”

“I wanted to share this progress update to make sure we’re aligned.”

This not only avoids surprises but also builds trust.

What If They’re Truly Difficult?

Sometimes, even the best efforts don’t resolve the friction. In these cases, focus on what you can control:

• Stay professional. Never let their behavior compromise your standards.
• Seek support from mentors or peers to help you navigate challenges.
• View this as a learning opportunity. What leadership lessons can you take from this experience, both good and bad?

Epictetus said: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Why not quit?

"It's not your job to manage your manager. You can find another job"

I truly cannot count the number of times I've seen this LinkedIn post, or one similar to it. And while in some cases this might be the answer, it's not always. If you're at a good company that you love, and especially if you have a good career trajectory ahead of you, don't let one person stand in the way of your success. This too shall pass.

Be patient with yourself. Managing up is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Start small, stay consistent, and remember that you’re not alone in facing these challenges.

Until Next Time

Exciting News: The Balanced Edge is growing, and we’re thrilled to announce that a podcast is on the way! Keep an eye out for more details coming in the first quarter of the year.

Next week, we’ll dive into how to use radical ownership to thrive under pressure. Until then, keep showing up, growing, and leading with intention.

Yours in progress,

James W Keeney