Manage Your Inner Bas**rd ?? ??

Most people are ruled by their emotions. Some their whole life, others from time to time when we lose control and flip out. Have you ever reacted angrily, or without due care, only to regret it later? It could be getting angry with someone, sending an email-missile back in reaction to how you read it (wrongly), or you jumped to a conclusion only to feel stupid afterwards. We all have. None of us are perfect. It isn’t you, it’s your inner bas**rd; the emotionally childish, volatile version of you.

To manage your emotions well is to master your life. To be a slave to them is to always be vulnerable, out of control and pushing people and success away from you. These inner emotions can taunt and curse you. They can be all of your fears and past baggage and people who’ve hurt you merged into the nagging, petulant voice of your inner bas-tard. 

Managing your emotions is not about denying your feelings, but observing them and taking a moment to try to understand them. Why are you feeling and reacting this way? What purpose do these volatile emotions serve? 

Here are 10 strategies you can test in your own life to understand, manage, control and master your emotions, to master your decisions, actions and results:

1. Observe the emotion

Take yourself out of the emotion, and like another voice or person inside you, watch without judgement. “Oh, that is an interesting reaction, Rob. Look at what your inner bas-tard did there!”

2. What is beneath the emotion or reaction? 

Where is it coming from? What in you is making you react like this?

3. Why is it persisting? 

What are you not learning for it to subside? What triggers it? 

4. What is the feedback that you need to own to grow through it?  

What do you need to improve to master it, by controlling your reactions? 

5. How does this emotion benefit you? 

What are the hidden benefits and lessons of inner bas-tard? 

6. Isolate yourself

Go to a space alone where your emotion can’t disrupt your life or others at that moment, until it subsides. By all means let your inner bas-tard flip out, then burn out. Then consider your next move with a balanced view.

7. Have a friend-punch-bag

Have a go-to person you trust who is discreet and will not judge you. Ask them, “Can I have a rant please?” Then let rip. Let the bas-tard out. Exorcise that demon! Once it’s out you may feel a lot better. The storing and suppressing of strong emotions can lead to passive aggressive behaviours, a full melt down or, worse, illness.

8. Have trusted counsel

Good friends, advisors and mentors who you can talk with who are qualified to give smart advice and for you to bounce ideas off. Especially those who’ve experienced your inner bas-tard becoming your outer bas-tard. 

9. Wait before you make a rash or emotional (or any) decision

10. Read, listen to and attend courses from the top experts…

…in the fields related to the persistent challenge you have. Learn from the best. 

Quick sound bite: 

Manage your inner bas**rd by allowing and observing your feelings and simply noticing them. Your inner bas**rd is not you, it is the volatile, emotional version of you. Take a breath, a little time alone or with trusted counsel, then once the emotion has subsided you can make good, rational decisions by following one of more of the 10 points. 

Rob Moore

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