Man Searching for Purpose: Where Do I Start?

Reminder: We're diving into raw topics, straight talk...

...harsh realities, and bold conversation.

After years of working with hundreds of men, this is the gritty truth.

If that makes you melt, feel free to bail out.

Impact isn't about trying to please everyone with a vanilla approach...

...it's about connecting with men who get it...

...so they can step up, take action, and improve their lives.

It’s midway through 2024, and let’s face it—being a man in the UK today comes with its own set of challenges.

You've got the lure of social media and the epidemic of mindlessly scrolling.

The issue of free porn (although it's costing you in ways you don't understand).

Rampant inflation is deliberately created to fuck the economy and push everyone into debt.

The media incessantly pushing as much fear as they can get away with.

And everyone is distracted by another pantomime election...

...that's just to decide which puppet roles into power for a few years...

...and takes his orders from those higher up the pecking order.

And the shocking suicide rate for men which is no easy fix.

So men are contending with a lot... and add to that list the feeling of being lost in life.

More than ever, we’re searching for purpose...

...a direction that makes us feel alive and fulfilled.

But what happens when that sense of purpose feels elusive, a distant dream that you can’t quite grasp?

Let me share a story.

A man I know well, let's call him Tom, found himself in this very situation.

His question was long-winded but in a nutshell...

...'I feel completely lost as a man, and have no real direction'.

Tom’s Story:

He's in his late 30s...

...working as an engineer in Birmingham.

He’s successful by most standards.

Steady job, a nice home, 2 kids, and a loving family.

Yet, despite all these achievements, Tom felt a gnawing emptiness.

He described it as...

...'Waking up every morning and feeling like I am going through the motions'...

...lacking any real sense of fulfillment or joy.

Tom's Silent Struggle is one that many of us guys can relate to.

I know myself after nearly 20 years of escaping City life...

...for a new path that finally made me feel alive again.

We often associate purpose with our careers...

...believing that professional success will automatically bring happiness.

But, as Tom’s story shows, this ain't always the case.

So, what should we do when we feel this way?

When the daily grind starts to feel meaningless and we're desperate for something more?

1. Reflect on What Truly Matters to You:

First and foremost, take some time to think about what really matters to you.

This isn’t about what society or anyone else thinks you should value...

...but what genuinely brings you joy and fulfillment.

Like for me it's doing impactful work, seeing my contribution help men via the growing Whole Man Academy...

...living with some level of freedom, and not taking orders or having to ask permission to do things.

And Tom took a long, hard look at his life and realised that while his job paid the bills...

...it wasn’t his passion.

I hear this A LOT!

2. Explore New Interests:

Tom decided to try new things, activities...

and stuff he’d always been curious about but never had the time to get involved in.

He started helping with a local football club...

...something that gave him a profound sense of satisfaction...

...and connected him with like-minded blokes for a laugh and a pint.

3. Seek Out Mentors and Peers (A HUGE one!)

Connecting with others who have navigated similar challenges can provide priceless insights.

Tom reached out to mentors and joined a men’s group where he could discuss his challenges and dreams openly.

Hearing other men’s experiences and advice helped him gain new perspectives on his own situation. (We are big on this at the WMA)

4. Set Realistic Goals:

Purpose doesn’t have to be found in mahoosive gestures or Instagramable life changes.

Sometimes, it’s about setting small, achievable goals that align with your values.

(That's if you know what your values are?!)

Tom began setting weekly goals that were motivating to him...

...such as getting fitter...spending more quality time with his family...

...and dedicating time to his newfound passion for the football club.

5. Be Patient with Yourself: (Not easy).

I've said to guys I have coached 'Finding purpose is a journey, not a destination.'

It’s important to be patient with yourself and understand that it’s okay to feel lost sometimes.

I know, because I did.

Tom’s path to finding purpose wasn’t a straight line.

There were setbacks and moments of doubt, but he learned to accept these as part of the process.

So there's no easy fix for this but here's some practical advice to start your journey:

Journal Your Thoughts:

Writing down the stuff in your head can help clarify what you truly want.

Reflect on moments when you felt happiest and most fulfilled.

What were you doing?

Who were you with?

These can provide clues to your true passions.

Disconnect to Reconnect: (Not easy when you are busy and have a family)

In our always-on digital world, it’s easy to get lost in the fucking jungle of noise.

Take time to disconnect from your devices and spend time in nature or doing something quiet and reflective.

This can help you tune into your inner voice.

I promise you, Contemplation is VERY powerful.

Seek Professional Guidance:

If you’re struggling to find clarity on your own, don’t hesitate to seek help from a coach.

They can provide structured guidance and support to help you uncover your purpose.

This bespoke service is available via the Whole Man Academy if you need it, brother.

Ok, let's wrap this up.

Tom’s journey is a bloody powerful reminder that finding purpose is deeply personal and often requires stepping outside our comfort zones.

It’s about discovering what makes you feel truly alive and building a life around those passions.

This can take years, but it's worth it!

If Tom’s story resonates with you, take it as a sign to start your own journey of self-discovery.

Get motivated, focused...

...and reignite that hidden drive to make some changes.

Remember, it’s never too late to find your purpose and live a life that feels meaningful.

I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this.

How have you navigated the search for purpose?

What advice would you give to someone starting this journey?

Comment below and let’s continue this important conversation for men across the world.

Next week I'll be tackling a really tricky subject.

Shagging someone at work and the benefits and dangers!

Look out for that, and remember the world NEEDS strong men.

Anthony

Director - Whole Man Academy

P.S. If you want to improve your life check this out now.

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It helps you identify what you need to work on to become the man you know you can be.

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